Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Up and Down, Down Disguised as Up - Tuesday Tune, vol 122


As of late, Yahoo #2 has taken a keen interest in my happiness.  He's become a walking, talking, grinning, singing, happiness thermometer.  If the boy has any question as to whether you are happy or sad, he'll ask.  None of this guessing stuff.  He'll smile at you, even with his eyes, and say, "Are you happy?"

I generally pause to reflect on my current mood and answer accordingly.  If I'm not feeling great, that little question has been known to turn my frown into a smiley face.  For a whole day, even.

Over the last week, Yahoo #2 has asked me this question more often.  It makes sense, as he is on Christmas break and has spent more time with me.  I didn't really think much of it until yesterday.  Yesterday, that sweet, stinky-footed Yahoo asked me if I was happy a record number of times.  I think he had asked me five times by the time noon rolled around.

After about ten times of this "Are you happy?" question, I inquired as to why he's asking bout happy so much.  Do you know what he said?  This is what he said:

"You seem sad all the time."

All the time.  ALL. The. Time.  All the freaking time!  That ain't good. If I don't do something – and quick – the kid will remember me as being sad.  Twenty years from now he'll look back and say, "Yeah, my mom made me lunch, and did my laundry, and wiped my toosh, and pretty much waited on me for years, but, you know what?  She was sad all the time." 

What's he going to remember?  That his mom was sad all the time. Poor kid has a sad, despondent, dismal, mournful, pessimistic, wistful, cheerless, fruitless, pitiable, distressed, doleful, forlorn, gloomy, heartsick, morose, languished, pensive, lugubrious and woeful mom.  (But at least he has a sad mom who knows how to use a thesaurusWink, wink.)

As an aside, when I searched for the sad synonms, Thesaurus.com provided me with a handy link to a Utah Therapist.  Bless the internet for knowing I'm sad all the time!  The therapist it recommends is in Ogden – which is an hour and a half away.  That internet needs to hone in on it's location services if it wants to save moms from being sad all the time.

What to do... what to do...

As I see it I have to two options.  They are: 1) fake it, or 2) quit being sad all the time.  These options seem all fine and good until it comes to the execution of said options.   I think that for the good of the whole fam damily, I should make option #2 my choice.  That way Yahoo #2 will cease the collapse of a ravaged childhood, brought upon his poor soul by a sad mom.

So execution.  You know what I love about having a Mac?  That there are not more .exe files.  I quite like that.  I mean, execute is a strong word.  I don't want anything being executed on my computer. 

(That was an intermission.  Used so as to propagate an execution to aid in operation: save sad mom.)

As always, music is master, and the only hope for this sad mom is to listen to some happy music.  And it's Tuesday.  Remember when I used to do a playlist on Tuesday?  I think I'll do that today.  I'll find ten happy songs, to listen to when I'm sad, and ten sad songs – songs to avoid at all costs when sad.  And maybe there are some real downer songs that are disguised as uppers.  I'll share those too.

Here's the happy, pick-me-uppers:

Come On Get Happy - The Partridge Family
I Can Help - Billy Swan
Stickshifts And Safetybelts - Cake
You're a Fool (feat. G. Love) - Cisco Adler
Wake Up Baby! - Dan Zanes & Shine
If You Wanna Be Happy For The Rest Of Your Life  - The Skatalites
Wild One - Those Darlins
Whip It - Devo
Pick Yourself Up - Dianne Reeves
Sing Our Own Song - UB40
Forever Young - Bob Dylan
Don't Stop (Color On the Walls)  - Foster the People
Options - Gomez
Don't You Worry 'Bout a Thing - John Legend
Work It Out  - Jurassic 5 Feat. Dave Matthews Band
Saturday Morning - Eels

Downer songs to avoid, at all costs, no matter how hard you think you need a good cry:

Comfortably Numb - Pink Floyd
Love For A Child - Jason Mraz
Land Locked Blues - Bright Eyes
Guess I'm Doing Fine - Beck
All I Could Do Is Cry - Etta James
Hurt - Johnny Cash
Beth - Kiss
The Saddest Song I've Got - Annie Lennox
There Is a Light That Never Goes Out  - The Smiths
Something Vague - Bright Eyes
No One Knows I'm Gone - Tom Waits
The Funeral - Band of Horses
Doin' the Math - Loudon Wainwright III
Lost Cause - Beck
Autumn Leaves - Eva Cassidy
Tears - Rush

Songs that appear to be pick-me-up, go-get-ums, but are tear-jerking downers in disguise:

See The Sun - Dido
Life Is Wonderful - Jason Mraz
I Can See Clearly - Johnny Nash
Here Comes The Sun - The Beatles
Somebody Loves You - Eels
Touching The Ground - Brandi Carlile
Soul One - Blind Melon
Something Good Can Work - Two Door Cinema Club
Please, Please, Please, Let Me Get What I Want  - The Smiths
My Life Is Totally Boring Without You - Cracker
Top of the World - Carpenters
Life Ain't So Shitty - Blind Melon
California Dreamin' - Carpenters
You Raise Me Up - Josh Groban
In Loving Memory - Alter Bridge
Will the Circle Be Unbroken  - Mavis Staples


There are so many that fit into each category.  It was rather hard to choose.  What are your favorite Up and Down, Down Disguised as Up songs?

Oh.  And Happy New Year.



Monday, December 30, 2013

Mascara


You know what has turned out to be the invention to trump all inventions?  Mascara.  I'm not kidding.  My day would have been a total loss had it not been for the mascara.  I had a weeks-worth of stuff to do on this very day.  Was feeling overwhelmed.  Took one look in the mirror and let out a jump 'n shriek.  I looked like iguana crap!   It seemed I couldn't begin, let alone continue.  But I had to begin.  And I had to continue.  Because that's what we do, don't we?  We begin and continue, then begin and continue again?

(We being me and you in our various person "roles."  We – you and me – are downright awesome because we give it a go even when we don't want to.  Holla!)

It was after the shriek and jump that I decided that maybe today would be a good day for some makeup.  So I retrieved the makeup sack – adorned in gold lamé – fished out the Estée Lauder Double Wear – also adorned in gold lamé – then commenced the ritual du mascara, which is begin-and-continue with the help of a magic eyelash wand.  Begin.  Continue.  Begin. Continue.  I repeated this ritual until my peepers looked just like Tammy Faye's.

My day was saved!

hashtag firstworldproblems


***Today's post is brought to you by, and dedicated to, the one and only Blake Murray, of whom I've not seen since high school.  Blake sent me an e-mail asking about this here blog.  I read that e-mail and said out loud, "I haven't a thing to write about!"  Then mascara saved the day and I had something to write about.  So I guess mascara saved the blog too.

(Sorry Blake!  It's all I got!)