Here we are.
It's the end of September. October is around the corner. This means that one of my favorite marathons is also around the corner. It's the St. George Marathon, and it happens on the first Saturday of October every year.
Saturday next will be the Rabid's 9th St. George Marathon. NINE! Wow. Wish I could tell you something like, it doesn't seem like it'll be nine, or it feels like my first St George was just yesterday, or where did all that time go? But truthfully, time sure does not fly when you're running marathons. And strangely enough, the faster you go, the longer it feels.
It's too bad Mr. Einstein and I weren't buddies, because I could have shown him how running could help explain his theory of relativity. Einstein's theory-o'-relativity explanation-of-choice was the hot plate – hot stripper corollary.
People would ask ol' Albert (trust me, I've read the book) to explain the theory of relativity in terms for lay people. He said something about how time does not feel constant, and that one's perception of time is based completely on their circumstances. For example, 30 seconds with your hand on a hot plate will not feel the same as a stripper on your lap for 30 seconds. That's the theory of relativity explained via hot plate – hot stripper. (At least the theory of relativity for dudes. Anyone care to take a stab at the female equivalent of a hot stripper on the lap for 30 seconds? And I s'pose that some strippers out there might make 30 seconds on the hot plate seem rather short in comparison, yes?)
This same theory of relativity applies to running. The faster you run, the more it hurts, and the longer it seems. So, although you might finish faster, it will hurt more, and seem longer. Got that? Faster is longer. Slower is shorter.
Sometimes I'm so fascinated with my very own logic that it makes me dizzy.
In celebration of this, my 9th St. George and 20th total, I present to you, the Tuesday Tunes (on Wednesday 'cause I'm a slacker): Beethoven's 9th Symphony.
First Movement: Allegro ma non troppo
Second Movement: Molto vivace
Third Movement: Adagio molto e cantabile
Fourth Movement: "Ode to Joy"
Let's hear it for Joy! And all the Odes that go with this Joy! And for hot plates! And for Strippers! And for marathons!
p.s. My Sister will be a soloist for this 9th Symphonic Masterpiece of Beethoven's. I just sent her a text to get the exact date and time and whatnot. I'll keep you posted.
p.p.s. My Sister and I both have the names of famous porn stars. Aren't we lucky? And you wonder why I don't use my for-reals name!