Spouse and me, we have this saying. When we love something, we say that we're going to take it out back and get it pregnant. This new camera lens? I love it so much that I'm going to take it out back and get it pregnant. Spouse's Tall Boy? He's gotten that thing pregnant multiple times. We love lots of things around here, so you'd think that the house would be full of impregnated articles of this 'n that.
Being as we have young Yahoos, we cannot rightly say the pregnant part. Mostly, it's because they're young, but it's also crude, and parents aren't supposed to be crude. So, when the Yahoos are around, and we love something so very much, we drop the pregnant part, and say, "I love this so much, I'm going to take it out back."
We cannot take credit for this get-it-pregnant genius. The idea was stolen from 30 Rock's Tracy Jordan. During one episode, Tracy declared his love for cornbread and said he was going to "take it behind the middle school and get it pregnant." We dropped the middle school part, because we don't have middle schools around here. But if we did, it would be at least a block or two away, and that would be too far. No matter where you are, "out back" is just a IUDs-throw away, so naturally, taking something out back is much more convenient than taking it behind the middle school. (When it comes to pregnancy, we like to keep it convenient.)
Well, just as you'd expect, the Yahoos are catching on. A few days ago, Spouse said something about my cooking being so awesome that he was going to take it out back (we'll just ignore the fact that he wanted to take the cooking out back, and not me.) Yahoo #1, tired of the "out back" mystery, closed one eye half way, and barked "What is with you two taking stuff out back?!"
Then, just two days ago, Yahoo #2 and I were preparing dinner. When I wasn't looking, the Pound Hound jumped up and grabbed some food, hung his head low, and disappeared. Yahoo #2 covered his mouth with both hands, and sheepishly – even impishly – hollered, "Mooooom. Max just took it out back!"