Tuesday, July 05, 2011

Tuesday Tune, vol 85 – Powerful Stuff


Today's Tuesday Tunes are all about Fireworks.  I'm going to just tell you that up front.  I'm also going to tell you, (upfront again) that this post may or may not include actual tunes.  I haven't decided yet.  Mostly because there are precisely 188 songs that I have chosen for today's Tuesday Tunes.  That's 12.4 hours of play using 1000.1 megabytes.  Firework tunes, like fireworks themselves, can be powerful stuff, so the more the better.   I know that no one on this green(ish) earth will take the time to listen to even a small percentage of my Powerful Stuff Playlist.

And you thought we'd talk about running today.  Hah!  Well, I suppose we could.  I could tell you that I ran Big Springs on Saturday (15 miles in Provo Canyon), then ran around my little town and some of the neighbor towns on Monday (11.5 miles.)  There.  Did that satisfy your need to read about running?  If not, maybe perhaps you should find a blog that has "run" in its title.

Oh right.  "Run" is in "RabidRUNner."  I should prolly tell you upfront that we talk about running only some of the time. Perhaps I should prolly talk to management about that.  We also say "prolly" a lot around here.  Mostly 'cause we're lazy and don't want to type probably in it's entirety.  That probably is a doozie, takes a lotta letters, and even more syllables to say and think it.

So, fireworks.  Here in the 'Tah (Utah,) fireworks made the news in a big way.  During the last legislative session, the governor of the 'Tah, one Gary Herbert (who I know well and have over for brunch* because I went to school with his kids,) signed a bill that would allow the use of multi-shot aerial fireworks.  These multi-shot aerials are also referred to as "cake" fireworks – and is anyone else surprised at what a wiki-geeked-up world we live in?  There's a wiki page for cake fireworks!

*Totally kidding about having The Gov over for brunch.  We don't do brunch.

Up until this year, fireworks in Utah had to remain on the ground, like a fountain, and could only spew so high.  In other words, they are totally and completely and unequivocally unworthy of the cash you'd hand over in exchange.  

For as long as I can remember, folks from the 'Tah have been driving to our close 'n tight neighbors named Wyoming for aerial fireworks.  Wyoming allows and sells all sorts of aerial fireworks.  Many have crossed this gateway into the wild, ferocious, and aerial-fireworked east to hand over hundreds and return with contraband.  Spouse had a Grandma, who we'll call "Grandma Magic," who had a thing for these aerial fireworks.  She'd load Spouse and tribe into her current boat and sail the I-80 all the way to Evanston.  Spouse says those were some good times.  Part of the reason she's Grandma Magic.  

There are rumors that cops would line the Wyoming/Utah border, stop cars at random, and search for any unauthorized loot, but I have no source that says this is true.  I've also heard that some have been stopped at the border, and have been forced to watch the cops take away their hundreds-of-dollars-in-aerials stash.  I'm sure tears were involved.  Much like when you're driving to California and they make you leave your oranges behind.

Now, there's one small problem with this illegal pastime.  It's not like cocaine, where you can tuck yourself into a bathroom so as to consume and enjoy.  No-sir-ee.  To consume and enjoy illegal fireworks, one must do so outside.  In the open.  For all to see.  You do it in a bathroom and you'll die.  I suppose you could die doing cocaine in a bathroom too, so maybe that corollary isn't a good one.

Anyway, in previous years, the cops could drive around during firework season, see your illegal fireworks in the air, and drive right to your house, because, like, duh, it's pretty easy to see where the ashes drop.  Once these cops would arrive at your house, they'd ask to see your stuff, you'd reveal your stuff, and they'd take it away.  Not that I'm telling you this out of experience or anything.  A-hem.  

I guess that the Utah legislators and whatnot noticed the loads of cash going to our neighbors named Wyoming.  They figured that for the good of the economy and whatnot, it was time we tried to keep that cash here.  I suppose that's the reason the Gov et al. decided to allow aerial fireworks; to keep the hard-earned Utah cash in Utah.  


Boy did it work!  The Rabid household rarely blows cash on fireworks.  This year?  Boy-oh-boy, did we blow cash on aerial (and ONLY* aerial) fireworks!  And if you were to visit our little hood last night, you'd see that perhaps the pooled firework cash could build an entire pool.  Not kidding.  There was a time when I was sure something would catch on fire, or someone would burst an ear drum, or that one of those beloved aerials would blow before leaving the ground.

*That's if you don't count sparklers as fireworks.  You know... fer the kiddies, and those who might want to write "rabidrunner" in the air or something.

It turned out to be safe night.  No one was hurt, and all were wow'd (except for a few who locked themselves inside.)  Was it a good move for Utah?  Not sure.  Is it safe?  Absolutely not.  I suppose the danger element is what lures.  

If you would like tunes, holler.  I've got that 12.4 hour, 1000.1 megabyte, 188 song'd playlist that I could prolly share.  Includes AC/DC's TNT, among other powerful stuff.


whitneyingram said...

Did ya see this?


Daybreak home goes up in flames because an aerial firework tipped over and lit a house on fire.

rabidrunner said...

Holy crap. Didn't see that. Powerful stuff, indeed. Now I've got a gut-ache.

Jessica said...

Now if only Utah would start selling kegs, you guys would have enough money to bail out Cali.

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