Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Tuesday Tune, vol 83 – Fine Running Cannibals

Last weekend I was fortunate enough to participate and even finish the Wasatch Back Relay.  My team, Crack the COD (where you crack cod fishes instead of sleuthy codes) ran hard and relatively fast.  We had six runners instead of the standard twelve.  We also had three dudes and three gals who were all over 30.  This put us in the Ultra Coed Submasters division, in the which we smoked this division in 27:10:35 – that's 27 hours and 10 minutes, 35 seconds – an average pace of just under 8:30.  That's roughly 30 miles each, average pace of 8:30.  Not too shabby, eh?

Before I go on, I must confess that there were only two teams in our division.  So taking first or second was a shoe-in, provided we finish.  HOWEVER... I'd like to show you something:


Do you see that?  We were only 4:50 from being first!  Us old farts were only 4 minutes and 50 seconds away from beating the young punks.  Speaking of us old farts, getting old has its advantages.  I remember my dad Mikey saying that his 40s were the best years of his life.  I remember him in his 40s, those were some good years for him.  I intend to fill those 40-years-are-best shoes.  (As of yesterday, I'm 39, so I don't get to have the best years of my life for another year.  Oh! I! Can't! Wait!)

I suspect that a full race recap will make its way into this blog, but I'm not promising a when.  Today, however, I'd like to talk about how I won't be running the Wasatch Back Relay again.  Prolly.  Most likely.  I won't say "never," just like Goonies never say "die," but odds are not likely that I'll undergo this adventure again.

Is it the running that makes it so tough?  So brutal that I won't do it again?  Absolutely not.  Running this event is the easy part.  The hard parts are the pesky pre-race pre-arrangements.  Good grief, this thing is a lot of work.  There's the finding of runners, the acquiring of vehicles, and the negotiation of volunteers – for each team must provide three volunteers, each for six hours.   And if that isn't a lot of work, there's the naming of the team, and the t-shirts to go with it.  There's also the assigning of who runs which, the team meetings, the pace-predictions, the food and water preparation, and making sure everyone shows up on time.  That's just the pre-race pre-arrangements.  There are also post-race post-arrangements.  After the race is over, there's the clean-up, which always occurs at the end of two days without sleep.

It's a lot of work.  But it's not just work, it costly.  Like up to $200 a person costly and that doesn't even count the vacation day and time away from the family.  Speaking of family, it's always Father's Day weekend, so I spend Father's day all tired and stuff.  That's not fair.

It is, indeed, a lot of work.  And it is, indeed, worth the efforts for four years.  After four years of this Wasatch Back business, I must say adieu.

I had decided that this would be my last year before we started running.  (Again, most likely.)  However, the minute I finished my last segments of the race, I was itching to do it again, and in Ultra fashion.  Ultra is where it's at.  A twelve man team is entirely too much waiting and not enough running.   I love to run.  I love to run the back side of the Wasatch mountains, the more miles the better.

Even though I've decided not to do it again, I've spent some time entertaining team names.  If... if... IF... I do it again, it will be an ultra team, and I will name this team The Fine Running Cannibals.  Cause I like 80s music and, you know, have a sick obsession with cannibalism.

The Fine Running Cannibals!  We eat our kills!*

*On the race, "kills" are used to count how many you pass.  When you pass someone, the passing is considered a "kill" and then you do a little tick-mark tracker thing on the window.  It's super silly.  Unless of course you decide to EAT YER KILLS!  I mean, 'round our parts we have a rule:  You kill it, you eat it.  Even spiders.

So, yeah, if I decide to do it again, which would need to include a sponsor because it's too expensive, it would be an Ultra team and it'd be The Fine Running Cannibals.  And that's why today's Tuesday Tunes are Fine Young Cannibals' tunes.

She Runs Like Crazy (It's really She Drives Me Crazy)
Good Thing (It's really Good Thing)
Don't Look Back (It's really Don't Look Back)
Precious Behinds (It's really Suspicious Minds)
I'm Not the Runner I Used to Be (It's really I'm Not the Man I Used to Be)
Johnny Run Home (It's really Johnny Come Home – what is wrong, in my life, that I must go run every night! Hey Johnny!  Won't you run on home!)

Anyone out there care to sponsor this Fine Running Cannibals effort?  I'll entertain offers... I said I wouldn't do it again... but maybe if we had a sponsor... .... ... .... .... ...


Jessica said...


Aubrey said...

I will volunteer!! Count me in!