Sunday, May 01, 2011

The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe

The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe
by C.S. Lewis


I don't know what to say about this one... other than I read it and there's a movie.  I know the story so well that it was difficult to get through.  Is that strange?  It's a great book, but I found it hard to finish it.


To recap, I'm going to pretend that I'm that famous movie announcer guy – you know, the one with the dramatic baritone voice who booms over all the movie trailers.  Here goes:

Four kids: Edmund... (dramatic pause) Susan... (dramatic pause) Peter... (said with a snarl and dramatic pause,) and Lucy... (a lightning bolt noise or something.)  A freaky wardrobe.  A wardrobe that served as gateway to another world.  A world where fawns, beavers, and evil white witches lure children with treats.  Where it's winter all the time and never Christmas.  Where a Lion serves as king.

Only Lucy knew about the wardrobe.  The others did not believe.  But THAT was all about to change...

Then you see the montage – set to dramatic music, of course – that reveals every last detail of the book and/or movie.  Lucy goes through the wardrobe, it's snowing, has tea with Mr. Tumnus, Peter goes through the wardrobe, finds the white witch and eats Turkish delight (which, thanks to that tune "Afternoon Delight" and an episode of Arrested Development, will always sound dirty to me.)  Then all the kids go through the wardrobe, it's still snowing,  have din-din with the beaver family.  Peter betrays, and goes searching for the Witch.  Witch's wolves come a-looking, beaver family and kids flee, but not after fighting Mrs. Beaver about leaving her sewing machine.  Flash to a picture of poor Mr. Tumnus being turned to stone.  Peter taken by witch.  Aslan the Lion pounces in, and it quits snowing.  There's some treaty negotiations.  Aslan sacrifices self in exchange for Peter.  There's a battle.  Witch is defeated.  Snow melts.  Kids find the light post.  They go home.

It just occurred to me that they went back home to World War II.  How tragic.  Go back to Narnia kids.


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