Wednesday, April 06, 2011

If Only EVERY Day Were April Fool's Day

I feel as if I've lost some muchness.

I used to be much muchier before.  Indeed, I've lost some muchness.  I really want a pill or something that will restore the muchness.  We could call it the Muchness Pill.  You know, so that I can take this Muchness Pill, and I'll get back some lost muchness.  Nothing's worst than lost muchness.  It's complete and total digression.

I suppose that with each passing year, I can count on losing a little muchness.  Kind of a drag, yes?  But a thought just occurred to me:  What if when we lose muchness, we gain wisdom?  Wouldn't that be great?  NO!  It would NOT BE GREAT.  Wisdom is totally overrated.  And boring.  And old.

Some of you might get excited about me losing some muchness.  Some of you prolly feel that my overbearing personality is just too much and needs a good digression.

Well. To those of you who already feel as if I'm already too much, I suggest you stay the hell away from me on April Fool's Day.  Because on this, the Day for all April Fools, my muchness comes out.  In all of its muchy glory.

Care for a recap of April Fool's 2011?  (If you missed 2010, you can check it out here.)

First, it started with some bedtime switcharoo.  Spouse switched the Yahoos while they were sleeping.  When we threw up the lights to wake them, both sat up and and declared a confused, "What the...?!" One of the Yahoos (won't say which) became rather... uh-hem... upset.   That one ran back to his own bed and buried himself.

Then came the breakfast.  All was prepared before the grand switcharoo awakening -- wouldn't want to give any of the surprise away -- and as the precious Yahoos were wandering into the kitchen, bed-head 'n all, Yahoo #1 said, "I'm scared to see what breakfast is."

Screeeeetch.... hold the phone, pull up the britches.... did you hear that?  "I'm scared to see what breakfast is."  That, folks, is one small victory for mom kind.  Means the April Fool's Muchness has left a mark.  A mark big enough for the use of that word scared.

The kids, with giant, skeptical eyes, saddled up to breakfast.  With disgust, they poked around at what I had given them.  Which was this:

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Doesn't look right, does it?  It ain't right.  It's yogurt eggs with dried apricot yolks, sour candy bacon strips, and toasted pound cake.

After breakfast we walked to school and I wore my April Fool Hat.  Actually I call it "The Dumb Arnold," ('cause of that kid on Fat Albert) but for April Fools day it was the April Fool Hat.

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Traditionally, April Fool's has been about playing a trick on my beloved Vera.  This year, however, I became distraught because my plan -- the plan -- required that Vera be at work for most of the day.  Well wouldn't you know, Vera's daughter Elvie was speaking at some fancy-pants symposium in San Francisco.  Vera had taken the entire week off to watch Elvie's little one-year-old nugget.

Do you see the dilemma?  The plan required that Vera be away from her house and she was in the house.  Had to go to plan B, which was really the dinner plan for the Rabid family, in the which I just extended our dinner plan on over to Vera.

The dinner plan was... drum roll please... meat loaf cupcakes with mashed potato frosting.  Everyone poked at that too.  Not so much in disgust.  To quote Vera, "They were killer."

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The highlight of this April Fool's Day was some April Fool Flowers.  Spouse got me some Flowers in a tea cup (a reference to the Mad Hatter I'm sure.)  He left a little love note too!  Said, "You are my favorite fool."  Isn't that sweet?


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Then I burnt the bread, but that wasn't on purpose.  Some Fool had set the oven temperate to 450 instead of 350.  When I find out which Fool did this, I'm going to take away some of their muchness.  Not sure how, but I'll bet I can figure it out.

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Oh.  Right.  I'm that Fool.  And now I know why I'm missing some muchness.

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7 comments:

Ski Bike Junkie said...

I love pound cake.

lifein360 said...

Mmmm candy bacon strips. Drooling. I wish I had a mom like you.

Makell said...

You are a true inspiration. Meatloaf cupcakes - It doesn't get any more Martha Stewart than that! Seriously- I want to hire you fir next year.....I need a good idea to get back at the "invitation to dinner and movies with the swingers" joke that was played on me. Funny story for another time:)

Makell said...

For not fir...stupid auto spell

Becca said...

Next year, I would really like to get together a week or so before April Fools day and borrow some of your muchness because your day was waaaaaaaaaay more muchy than mine-and I like yours better!

whitneyingram said...

I just announced to my husband that we will do the bed switching to the boys next year. And what if we put Jack in Violet's crib? Genius.

About this muchness loss. Is muchness the opposite of wisdom? Does having muchness make you stupid? This seems to have the potential to be a hot button issue.

Aubrey said...

:)