Friday, January 14, 2011

Blog Boredom

Blogging is boring lately.  Is it just me or do some of you share the same sentiment? Before January rolled in, I blamed it on the holidays.  I wasn't in the mood to expend extra energy for the blog and I knew others were roughly in the same boat.  Christmas is rough, people, rough.  Christmas is also the reason January is so rough.  We're all hungover.  Or is it just me?  Am I the only one who must force myself to put one foot in front of the other for the entire 31 days of January?  Why couldn't January have 28 days instead of February?  The planets and their alignment are rude!

Anyway, I've read a few posts that have mentioned blogs are going bye-bye.  They say it's been replaced by facebook and other one-liner repositories.  Is it true?  Could be.  In the olden days, like four years ago, people used to save their one-liners on paper scraps until two or three of those one-liners aligned themselves into a cohesive thought.  Then people would rush home and write a post about it, complete with fancy wording.  Didn't people use to do that in the olden days?  Or is that just me?  Nowdays they throw their one-liners up to stand by their lonesome.

Well.  Here's the deal, the readings of are down by half.  I mucked around in my analytics yesterday. Something I do only when really bored, or when some anonymous gum-flapper accuses me of something, and I want to figure out where they came from.  On this occasion, some anonymous gum-flapper accused me of not being a good Mormon.  Duh.  Tell me something I don't know.  However, I would like to point out that good Mormons aren't supposed to go around telling other Mormons that they aren't living as good Mormons.  Something along the lines of Jesus' "he without sin cast the first stone" speech.  I'm not saying that the anonymous gum-flapper wasn't a good Mormon, no-siree, I don't do that.  I'm just sayin' that a little research might suggest that pointing out others' sins ain't such a good idea--definitely not What Jesus Would Do.

So, yeah, the readers are down.  You might think I'm sad about this.  You might.  However, I didn't start this little escapade some five years ago to make up for my lack of high school popularity (oh and did it lack!  Don't make me go back!)  I started this little blog because I was a bored stay-at-home-mom-with-a-part-time-tax-job-who-liked-to-write-stuff.  Over the years, I've found that the more people you have hitting yer space, the more careful, and uh-hem, politically correct you have to be.  It's a dang drag to write your guts out and wonder if you'll piss someone off with your opinion, when that's all it is, an opinion.

Now that my readers are down, I can go OFF!  Off, I tell ya, off!  Should I go off now?  I think I will.  This anonymous gum-flapper asked me if I felt better because I bashed a good store.  She was talking about my criticisms of that one Sexy Modest place.  Now, to be clear, I was not bashing the store, I was making fun of the name because of the I-R-O-N-Y of combined names, sexy and modest.  There's no irony when looking at them separately.  But together?  They pack a mean irony punch.  So this anonymous person, after meticulous scrutiny from the Rabid's reading-between-lines, is most-likely a high school aged female, with an IP address from Lehi, who may or may not work at this Sexy Modest place.  I quote: "If you buy a beautiful shirt here, you will never run into someone else at school wearing the same. The stock rotates very quickly, and the accessories are to die for." 

I assumed female because she said "to die for."  I assumed high school aged because she said something about running into someone "at school" wearing the same "beautiful" shirt.  Now here's more irony: this girl so badly wants to be different.  She doesn't want her beautiful shirt to be worn by anyone but herself.  She wants to stand out and be different.  Yet, here she is criticizing me and accusing me of not living Mormon for having a different opinion.  That there is what folks around her refer to as irony.  We all must be different, she says, but I want you all my kind of different.  In other words, pick a color--any color--just make sure it's a shade of blue.

Megan also brought up a great point.  The store has deemed itself worthy of choosing stuff that is appropriately modest by labeling it as such.  Megan wrote, "the clothes aren't going to do the job for a gal. The gal has to do the work herself, and that's going to come from confidence and an understanding of oneself."  I could go into that store, buy something sexy modest and wear it to church.  When someone in authority accuses me of wearing something inappropriate, I'll say, "What?  I bought it at that one place named Modest, therefore it is modest." Nope.  Sorry.  Dudn't work that way.  We're required to think for ourselves and make our own decisions.  However, if it did work that way, I could establish a joint called "Mormon Munchies," sell hash, dorritos, and a number of opiate derivatives and the name alone would deem it Mormon approved, yes?  No.  Individuals make religiously appropriate choices--business owners do not.  That's my point.

Am I making my point to this female anonymous high school student?  No, of course not.  It's over and beyond that one.  I'm just bored.  Remember up above, I said blogging is boring these days?  Yeah, that.  At this point, I'd like to thank this anonymous gal for giving me something to write about.  If she hadn't of landed her criticism here, I wouldn't have had a single thing to write about.

I would like to end on this thoughtful note.  Anonymous directed a personal criticism at the readers and me, with this:  "Maybe ya'll ought to get off your computers, and venture out into the wide open world before you judge a store by its name."

Is Sexy Modest the wide open world?  Girl?  I've been India.  And if it weren't for my husband and his computer-luvin' job, I never would have gone.  A few facts about India:  Their population is mostly Hindu and their dress is more modest than the modestest of most Mormons.



Marci said...

I love you Amber. We should all hope for your continued boredom. I read as often as I can, but not as often as I'd like. Someday, you'll be glad you wrote all this stuff down and so will your posterity. For that reason alone, and for the sheer fact that it would be a crime to waste such talent, keep blogging girl!

Grizzly Adam said...

The new "modest" in Mormondom seem to be "as tight as can possibly be so my nipples show through the shirt." (Can I say nipples?) But at least the neckline is high!

Jessica said...

That Grizzly is an observant person. (I was gonna say man, but who knows!)

I'm so sad that our Anon high school friend hasn't commented yet. I assume her previous Google search for Sexy Modest eventually landed her in the lap of their online store, at which point she was pleased as punch.

I feel your boredom. Totally get it. And despite Anon's annoying comment, at least it gave you something fun to sink your teeth into.

Only 17 more days to go until February!

radracer said...

It does seem that tolerance and understanding is lacking among some members of the predominant religion in Utah.

And while we're going off about 'venturing into the world' before judging, I've been to Germany and Denmark. The appearance of the teenagers on the bus and streets would make Molly Mormon Mother cringe and run away in fear.

But you know, by and large those youths are polite, respectful, will give up their seats on the bus to women and children, and give others a level of respect that these Molly Mormon's teenage Peter Priesthood's lack.

(This is just an observation, not scientifically documented, and is in no way intended to apply to any specific individual. If you can't resist flaming me for writing this, flame away; I can handle it.)

Celeste said...

Amber? Is that your name, Rabid? Verrry interesting.
Anyway, I still read. Read and enjoy. I recently axed about 90% of the blogs I had in my google reader list, and you made the cut, so keep 'em coming. I wonder if your readership is down because only fools read from the actual blogs anymore? Seriously, who doesn't use bloglines or google reader? Does it show up in your stats if they don't click over?

Keli said...

I love pissing people off on my blog. ;) It makes me happy. However, it does give me a little anxiety. That being said, I love your blog, and I love that you have been accused of being a "bad Mormon". That's like my favorite label for myself. It seems kind of oxymoronic, but I guess for those of us that can't embrace the strange Mormon culture like Sexy Modest obviously has, it's an oxymoron we'll have to live with!

Ski Bike Junkie said...

What makes you a good mormon is the same thing that makes you a good jew, catholic, or secular humanist: you treat other people nicely. Golden rule. How not to be a lousy human being 101.

I have first-hand experience that this Rabid person is a good human being that treats others well. There will be no secret handshakes of passwords at judgment day--the people who were good neighbors will just walk right in and be welcomed with open arms.

Good mormons do not tell other people, regardless of their faith or lack thereof, that what they are doing makes Heavenly Father sad, which is effectively the accusation leveled by this supposedly good mormon at Rabid (and was literally the accusation leveled at my friend's six-year-old daughter).

I have more to say about this that I may or may not write at some point on my own (dying) blog. Because you're right, blogs are waning (my traffic is down, too). But that doesn't mean they should go away. Blog on your terms. I'll keep reading.

rabidrunner said...

Thanks ya'll for staying at your computers instead of venturing out to see the wide world.

Marci, the name is Rabid. Capital R. Grin.

Grizz, if you can see nipples, you should sure as heck be able to say (and write) nipples.

Jess, Grizz is a dude. I'm pretty sure the Anon-gal won't be back. It's too bad, I thought about inviting her over for dinner (for reals.)

Rad, bingo. You're so very wise in your injured state. You're always wise, but maybe more so with a broken hip. Speaking of broken hips, two of you commentators have broken hips!

Celeste, I too use google reader, and I'm pretty sure that the analytics do not pick up on google reads and other feeds. Not that I really care, or do I? Not sure!

Keli, I know what you mean by that anxiety bit. Mostly I'm afraid of my mother and father-in-law. Not that they should be feared, they're just not quite used to my sense of humor? I think?

SBJ, thank ya sir. You too are a fine human being. Here's to fine human beings!

tom lindsey said...

bored enough to knit a sexy, but modest, G-string with a sequined CTR emblem in front and a little tag affixed to the waistband that reads "no coffee, no tea, plenty of sexy modesty"

are you that bored?

StupidBike said...


StupidBike said...

what, wait, you were talking about something else weren't you?

tom lindsey said...

StupidBike has has a point. Can you also make a pair of squashed sacrament cup pasties?

He has also given me an idea on a way to keep your male readership's attention; but that will have to wait for a day or so.

Lars said...

Ton's comments have me laughing out loud...only because I could see Rabid rising to that challenge. Maybe Sexy Modest could carry the line?

Marci said... sorry!!!! I realized the mistake right after I posted this but had no way to take it back. This is why I don't comment much. As the blog creator, do you have the ability to delete people's comments?

Watcher said...

I just want to say that this comment thread reminds me of that whole "code name" scene in Raising Arizona with John Goodman and William Forsythe.

("Damnit Evelle! How many times I told you never to use my name during a job?!" "Not even your code name, Gayle?" "Oh. Right my code name... well that's OK...")

As far as I'm concerned, "A-----" is your code name.

megan said...

The thought of the anonymous teeny bopper going off is still making me laugh - I guess on Facebook they "pose" and fake people to get on others account (I still don't have a facebook thingy...never will...complete and total waste of time) I still stick to my proverbial guns that blogging can be taken and "booked" which is the only reason I will waste my time with it :)
And I think you need to still allow anonymous comments - hilarious rants come from them

Blackdog said...

Very interesting comments. I thought all of the Draper Stripper Mommies were good Mormon's? No?

Megan and Keli'i said...

"Sexy Modest" and self righteous Mormons makes for a very, very fascinating and lovely post. Enjoyed all of it.

I'm obviously not a very good Mormon either...being that "damn" and "hell" may very well be my favorite words.

Oh, and "Mormon Munchies!" That was too good!

lifein360 said...

I think I am going to move to the States and open a store in your town just to compete with that place. I will call my place "Kinky Conservative". As Canadians, we have the "conservative" thing down to an artform. ;)

Makell said...

I've felt the same way about blogging lately - however, I haven't been able to cleverly write my way out of a funk yet like you have done. You have a gift my friend. Keep the unfiltered, offensive to some, honest and funny posts coming.
side note: I saw that a new sexy modest had moved up this way and I almost pulled over and picked you up a gift certificate. Maybe for your birthday :)

rabidrunner said...

You guys are all so clever... so very clever.