Sometimes it hurts to be me. Sometimes. I once worked with this guy named Alan (real name) who asked me that often. He'd say, "Rabid, does it hurt to be you?" I'd respond with an assuring giggle and a "Yes."
Now why would Alan observe my antics and ask such a thing? Well. It was because Alan was a rigid fun-hater who lacked all things wacky. Alan had no sense of humor. Alan was only concerned with being cool. Which proves that even in his 5-years-my-senior, he needed some growing-up. Adulthood has many bonuses. You get to earn your own cash. But more importantly, becoming an adult means that you no longer need concern yourself with being cool.
Am I right? I'm right. Who the hell cares if they're cool any more?
So Alan would ask "Does it hurt to be you?" whenever I got wacky. And then I'd get his cooler-than-thou goat by getting even wackier. We worked a lot of hours back then and a sense of humor was necessary. He quit, I think. Perhaps I'm the reason he quit? I just put two 'n two together on that one...
Today, however, it does not hurt to be me. Today is one of those days, in the which I have been able to sit back, look at my sitchyeeation, and declare myself pretty dang lucky. And not hurt.
Yahoo #1 spent the weekend sick. Yahoo #2 and I are home sick today. Yahoo #2 is sick. I'm home with a sick one, but not necessarily sick. But being as Yahoo #2 is sick and needs to be home, that means I need to be home too, thus making me home sick too. (I love throwing concision down the toilet sometimes. Don't you? Just did that, in fact. I threw out the concision.)
The Yahoos, and everyone else at our house, spent the entire summer wallowing in supreme health. We did. To my recollection, not-a-one of us was sick all summer long. But wouldn't you know, school's in session ten whole days, and someone gets sick. Then another gets sick. And then another... Just shows to go ya, that schools are germ farms.
I had lots planned today. I had some miles to run. Miles that included 6x100m pickups. I had plans to attend my favorite yoga class in a 90 degree room (not Bikram, not anything close to Bikram). Then I had plans to test some software, and log some bugs, and write some docs. I had lots planned.
That paragraph was wiped clean when Yahoo #2 declared himself too sick for school. When the Yahoos stay home from school, they don't get the luxuries. They must stay in bed until noonish. And then, after the extra rest, they don't get any of the entertainment. No games, no gadgets, no toys. If they are running a fever, and/or clearly sick-as-can-be, then I let 'em watch TV. That's it. I informed Yahoo #2 that all the above would transpire if he were to stay home from school. He said okay, and loaded himself up to bed, without eating his pork by-product of the day. Pork by-products are favorite among the menfolk at our house, so you know something's up if they don't finish their pork by-product.
Come to think of it, he didn't even put his glasses on at first dawn. That's some serious sickness. That kid doesn't do anything without his specs.
At first glance, one might think that it hurt to be me today. All of my plans were ixnayed so as I could stay home and take care of my poor sick little Yahoo. I'll admit, saying "no" to my plans did hurt a bit. But here's the part that is lucky and doesn't hurt: I was able to cast my plans aside. I was able to reprioritize my day -- just like that. I didn't have to make any phone calls, or provide an explanation. I can run tonight, or even tomorrow. I can finish my work tonight, or even tomorrow. Yoga can wait too.
Somehow, I've managed to land myself upon a life that's relatively flexible. I'm pretty darned lucky for that. If anyone sees Alan, tell him it doesn't hurt to be me.
Oh. By the way, today's Tuesday Tunes are Sick Tunes. I couldn't do flexible 'n lucky tunes because then we'd end up with that goofy 70s disco that accompanies the porn. (Or so I'm told...)
Woozy - Faithless
I Burn - The Toadies
Nausea - Beck
Lamentation - Delerium
Black Tongue - Yeah Yeah Yeahs
That Smell - Lynyrd Skynyrd
No Doze - Calexico
I'll Feel a Whole Lot Better - The Byrds
Unfortunate Few - The Ditty Bops
Government Flu - Dead Kennedys
Spreading The Disease - Queensrÿche
Pneumonia Hawk - Cancer Bats
Fever - A Fine Frenzy
Is It Medicine - The Knife
Suffragette City - David Bowie
At this point, I got tired of the copy and paste and quit -- except for Unintended 'cause that's one of my favorite songs in the whole library. If you want links to the rest, holler...
Somebody Put Something In My Drink - The Ramones
Coughing Colors - Tilly And The Wall
Lithium - Nirvana
Open Heart Surgery - The Brian Jonestown Massacre
Bad Day - R.E.M.
Mental - Eels
Pills - New York Dolls
I Wanna Be Sedated - The Ramones
Remedy - The Black Crowes
Why Does My Heart Feel So Bad? - Moby
Novocaine For The Soul - Eels
Pale Shelter - Tears for Fears
Wet My Bed - Stone Temple Pilots
Dimentia 66 - My Life With The Thrill Kill Kult
No Sex - Limp Bizkit
Symptom Finger - The Faint
Bedbugs And Ballyhoo - Echo and The Bunnymen
I Bleed - Pixies
Sick Again - Led Zeppelin
Shake Me - Cinderella
The Sick Bed Of Cuchulainn - The Pogues
No No No - Yeah Yeah Yeahs
All In My Mind - Love and Rockets
Locomotive Breath - Jethro Tull
Unintended - Muse
Warning Sign - Coldplay
Horse Pills - The Dandy Warhols
Wasted - Brandi Carlile
Neurotica - Rush
Night Fever - Bee Gees