Wednesday, September 01, 2010

Priority Pink Slips

This post is more for me than it is for you.  As if that's a rarity, right?  As if I ever do anything for anyone else anyways.  But sometimes... every once in a while, I do stuff for other people.  Heck, even twice, I think I wrote up some stuff just for you all everybody out there.  It's true.  Just don't make me prove the which and when.

I intend for this post to be something of a referential reminder that I can revisit once the overwhelmingness of life kicks in.  I just thought of something, though.  I keep thinking that the overwelmingness of life will magically disperse and I can take many minutes of many days moseying about doing much of nothing.  Thing is, I believe I've been waiting for these mosey moments for a century.  Or at least a decade.  And life seems to get more overwhelming by the month.  So, in order to check back on this post, because the overwhelmingness of life has kicked in, the overwhelmingness must first kick off.  Or out.  Whatever.

Sigh.

I'm having trouble with priorities.  My biggest problem (aside from my haughty temper and daily need for megadoses of dopamine) is that I want to do it all.  ALL.  I want all the big stuff, like, to travel the world, obtain doctorate degrees (in the plural), speak six exotic languages, spend at least a year in India doing humanitarian stuff, write shrewd and spritely stories--maybe even a book, flex and bend the sinews like Megan, learn physics, corral billions of secret dollars--to throw at people who really need 'em, design roller coasters, own everything on itunes, and change the oil in my car all by myself.

I want all the medium stuff too.  Like run a sub three-hour marathon, climb Mount Everest, play the piano like Liszt, play the organ, play the guitar, play all the instruments, especially the zither, and design and create photos like Bryan Nivan (although Mr. Niven might be disappointed to hear that he's medium level stuff, not to mention that I aspire to change the oil in my car before creating masterpieces like his, so don't tell him.)   I want to genius-ize the Yahoos, ski like Bode Miller (but not as fast), bash bumps like Shannon Barkhe, make every day a "special themed" day--complete with a party, and learn to mountain bike with clipless pedals without tipping over all the time.

And then there's the little stuff.  I want a clean, organized house, finely manicured landscaping, and the energy to cook three gourmet meals a day.  I want Yahoos that excel at music and sport, scholastics and whit.  I want to make clever movies, slide-show presentations, and a complete cynical series of pickmeups that make fun of the Tony Robbinses.  I want to celebrate one of my friends in a big way--every day, do special kinky stuff with Spouse, like, always, know all there is to know about Photoshop--and then some--and I want to learn how to crochet, knit and sew cool stuff.  (Actually, I don't necessarily want to sew cool stuff.  I'll settle for mending a few this 'n thats, and the kinky stuff could be a couple of times a week. Hehehe.  I am a woman, you know.)

There's also the stuff that looks little, but is really big.  Like learning to be patient, tolerant, loving, kind, compassionate, and generous.  Are those things little for you?  Well. You just keep that little fact to yourself, 'cause they're a big deal to me in that they don't come to me at all, let alone naturally.

Sigh.

Obviously I cannot do, and have, all of that.  I cannot.  That's why I must pick some priorities and practice prudent pissing-on of those things that are not priority (figurative, of course.)  This is a coping mechanism, really.  I have a lot of priorities on my proverbial plate right now.  I must pick and choose.  I must also work hard at thwarting the frustration that looms as I toss aside each priority with a pink slip.

I should do that!  I should write up a bunch of pink slips and hand 'em to things that aren't priority.  Like when the fridge screams at me to clean it, I'll swear at it and slap it with a pink slip.  The garage?  Same thing.  Weed the flowerbeds?  Sorry, not a priority.  Mop the floor?  Pink slip.

Pink slip.  Pink slip. Pink slip.  I'll be just like one of those super-powered, top-notch cheeses at a software company.  Pink slip.  Pink slip.  Pink slip...

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15 comments:

rjmatheson said...

You remind me of my wife way too much.

Keeping in the software executive vein, don't forget to justify your pink slips by saying you're returning to your core competencies...

Don't forget, if someone else wants to put something on your plate (aka Product Plan of Record...) ask them if you've approved their PRD.

rabidrunner said...

Wanna know one major difference between your wife and I? She has a sponsor! Good point about others putting stuff on the plate. I need to get a strategy like that. I could send 'em home with, "I'm sorry. I cannot implement your stuff without a proper design doc."

Watcher said...

Sheesh. Having read this post I feel phenomenally unambitious. I was feeling good about getting in a bike ride before work this morning, then driving to the office and discovering I'd remembered both socks and underpants in my "work clothes" bag. I figured it was a banner day of achievement. And then I read your list and feel all slacker-loserish...

Sparks said...

Reminds me of your genius Bowl Cut.

I actually used my dusty elliptical machine today. I feel so successful at living that I feel like I should take the rest of the week off. From everything.

rabidrunner said...

Watcher, you know what they say, "shoot for the moon but be happy when a bird poops on you instead."

That is what they say, isn't it? 'Sides, I'm calling your pot and kettle bluff, Mr. Science and Fantastic Diagram man.

rabidrunner said...

Oh! Megan, I totally forgot about the bowl cut post. I wonder if they were created around the same time of year. Will research and get back with you.

tom lindsey said...

It's better to aim for the moon and end up in a pile of shit than it is to aim for the pile of shit and hit it.

StupidBike said...

you can do it all, well most of it, so long as you accept the consequences. I do, most days, life is short, although not as short as life is for those with kids.

And you know Shannon Bahrke has had multiple knee surgeries, jaw fractures and limited me time, I mean her time.

rookie cookie said...

I like this.

megan said...

Yeah...a house cleaner goes a long way...a really long way...take away one gourmet meal and she's paid for! Do I dare say that I just asked mine to come once a week for the next 3 months?? I'd only admit that to you - and the random friends that drop by wondering why my house is clean all of the sudden :)
AND I'll let you knit me the hats that I wanted last year...I'll be early this year!

Sparks said...

Megan, don't be bashful about having maids come. Merry Maids did their thing at our place today and my husband and I concur that one should never be ashamed about the glorious glee that comes from walking into a sweet-smelling, clean house that isn't the result of your own elbow grease. Don't begrudge yourself the stuff of true joy.

Jessica said...

I also remember the Bowl Cut post. A nice one, as I recall.

I like this post for lots of reasons. Mostly because it is applicable to me at this point (it's always about me, it seems). I know what you mean, although I don't think my goals or as lofty as yours. I just need to stop swearing. At work. (notice how I said I need to stop swearing. I really like swearing.)

Julia said...

Is what we all really need is more money to pay other people to do all those non-essentials like cleaning
the fridge. I will have a cleaning lady before I die! As for the "big things", maybe just give them a rain check rather than a pink slip. I believe you can and will do everything you want to do in this life.

The petulant ninny said...

After hours of grave and deliberate pondering; in order to prevent days of bitter recrimination, discouragement, and self abasement you should definitely start with the little stuff. Yes, start with the little stuff, yea dare I say it, spend time on the little stuff, master the little stuff, roll up your sleeves, get dirty, make mistakes, and just get after that little stuff until that little stuff screams for a reprieve.

rabidrunner said...

So, Tom, that's the funniest thing I heard yesterday. Perhaps the funniest thing I've heard all week.

Stupidbike, I say fewey to consequences. Give consequences the pink slip! And Shannon broke her jaw? I broke my jaw too! Maybe we're related?

Megan Squared (Megan H. and Sparks), the housecleaner thing is knocking on my door. Thing is, I refuse to let the Yahoos know that they have someone cleaning up after them (other than me, 'cause I don't count, just ask them.) However, now that school is in again, I might be able to sneak a housecleaner in every couple of weeks...

Julia, I'm with you. Let's just spend loads of cash on luxuries so as to cash in on some rain checks.

Ninny, are you volunteering yourself as the screamer? I can deal with that...