I have a marathon in eight days and have no idea what I'm going to wear. I usually get something new 'n fresh to spice it up a bit. I don't currently own anything spicy enough, and I cannot find anything spicy enough. What I wear is usually the first of decisions made, and is by far the most paramount of prerace prearrangements. The only thing more important than the racing robes is the marathon selection itself.
First question is always, "What marathon am I going to run?"
Second question is always, "What am I going to wear?"
This is indeed a crisis. A costume crisis, an ensemble emergency, a dress disaster, a fashion fiasco, a crossroad for cothes, an apparel affliction, a disaster of the duds, a wardrobe washout, a clothing calamity, an ordeal of the outfit, and a wardrobe wallop. I'm a gear whore who's got the gout. Not having the appropriate assortment of wearables might mishap my marathon into a running rig ruin
A crisis indeed. I have real troubles, people. Real troubles.
Now why would the marathon mufti be so important? It's simple, really. If the race goes raunchy, I'll have some tawdry threads to fall back on. Racing in the proper regalia opines loudly that I might not be fast, but I sure am fly.
If only I had a sponsor. If I had a sponsor, the uniform of utility would be a shoe-in Vera suggested that I wear nothing but duct tape. Not a bad idea, I must say. Duct tape comes in all colors and textures now. If I race all dolled up in duct tape, I might get myself in the newspaper. Maybe even on the front page. If I get myself on the front page wearing nothing but duct tape, then perhaps the duct tape people will sponsor me! I could get free duct tape for any and all!
Can you imagine a more useful sponsor than duct tape? I can't.