Tuesday, July 06, 2010

Tuesday Tune, vol 46 - Mustard

Mustard is the condiment of life. Truly, truly. There is no better option for the dressing of food. The Spouse might argue that butter is the best for dressing, but I conquer -- with passion, vigor and vim -- that mustard is the condiment of life.  (The spice of life is Nutella. But that's a whole 'nother post.)

Mustard is heaven on earth.

It even says so in the New Testament Bible.  Jesus likened the kingdom of heaven to the mustard seed.  And wow, if that doesn't just set me straight for the prolonged renewal of my current religious persuasion, nothing will.

Matthew 13:31 and 32
31  Another parable put he forth unto them, saying, The kingdom of heaven is like to a a grain of mustard seed, which a man took, and sowed in his field:
32 Which indeed is the least of all seeds: but when it is grown, it is the greatest among herbs, and becometh a tree, so that the birds of the air come and lodge in the branches thereof.

Matthew 17:20
20 And Jesus said unto them, Because of your unbelief: for verily I say unto you, If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be dimpossible unto you.

See?!  Mustard is heaven on earth.

When it comes to mustard, I don't limit myself to classic yellow. Although classic yellow is best for bedecking a braut, it is not the only species of mustard found in our fridge. There's honey dijon, sweet hot, cilantro lime, simple dijon chardonnay, chunky-seeded stone ground, horseradish, and Yahoo #1's favorite: jalapeno.

As is customary in the 'Tah (Utah), we participate in food storage. That's where you store food. The idea is to rotate this stored food and keep a few months on hand, "just in case." Now, being as you should only store food that you eat, we consider it necessary to store mustard. A natural disaster without mustard would become a whole new natural disaster.

We were all at the grocery yesterday. And while trapsing through this isle and that, Yahoo #1 mentioned that we were almost out of his favorite jalapeno mustard. So we made our way to the mustard that just-so-happens to be housed between the pickles and the ketchup. (Don't get me started on ketchup. Ketchup is gross. Do yourself a favor and put a tomato on whatever it is you insist on putting ketchup on.)

While gawking and drooling over the many possible mustard combinations, I completed a mental inventory of the mustard stock pile in our basement. I realized we were almost out of everything and decided to add a mustard or two to the collection.  Here's what the cart looked like:


Now doesn't that make your mouth water? On this particular mustard foray, we found a new species, one that shall be a keeper. It's cranberry. Don't knock it 'til you try it.)

And so it is, on this fine Tuesday, that I present you with the Mustard Playlist.

Mean Mr. Mustard - The Beatles
Vinegar and Salt - Hooverphonic
Mustard Gas - The Dear Hunter
Seed Of Wonder - Jesca Hoop
Mustard - Kilgore Trout (no youtube for this one)
Too Old to Cut the Mustard - Ernest Tubb and Red Foley
Mustard Seed - Damion Suomi
Mustard - The Red Tops (no youtube for this one)



Sparks said...

I'm just waiting for Whit to show up and go off on how "YES! We are supposed to ROTATE our food storage! HOW IN THE HELL do people not know this? You don't buy 15 giant barrels of wheat with no idea what to do with it. Morons! YOU BUY FOOD YOU'RE GOING TO USE! And you use it. Stupid stupids."

I'm waiting for that.

Oh, and because I don't use anything at all I've decided that the perfect food storage is cases of Clif Bars. I am planning to charge people to tell them about this great idea. Give me $10 and I'll tell you the secret to food storage. Clif Bars. You got the advice for free, 'cause, well, I just think you're spectacular. But keep it under your hat.

And I'm stunned at how I could love you more. Didn't know it was possible. I love mustard. Love classic yellow the mostest, but now I'm feeling bad about myself for never having known about jalapeno and cilantro-lime. Holy moses.

tom lindsey said...

I had no idea you were a fellow mustard addict. English Ale is my current favorite and very easy to make. Now that the strawberries are getting ripe it will soon be time to make a basalmic vinegar and strawberry mustard.

Lately we have been branching out and adding wasabi to our collection of condiments; try jalapeno wasabi.

runlikagrl said...

That cran-man makes his way into everything.

C.C. said...

Wasabi mustard and habanero mustard are quite delish. I couldn't agree with you more on the mustard as a must.

The petulant ninny said...

I see you have managed to muster your mustardly minions with your masala muchness.

lifein360 said...

OMG, Mustard gives me the worst gut rot ever. I would like to love it, but alas....

Winder said...

Ohhh...ninny love the alliteration. Rabid I must invite myself to try the cranberry mustard looks delish.

Jessica said...

You have opened up a whole new world to me. (insert Aladdin music.....NOW!)

Sparks said...

Aw, our Jessica flying around on a magic carpet singing to a bottle of cranberry mustard. How cute.

Jessica said...

Hell yeah, Sparks! Maybe you could whip me up a graphic design of that very thing!

Becca said...

I hate to rain on your parade, but to quote my husband "I don't eat anything with the word turd in it!" I am not even close to a mustard lover. And I am very impressed that the Yahoo has a love not only for mustard, but for jalapeƱo mustard.