Saturday, June 26, 2010

Summy Smeltzer

Many times, people have stopped me and asked, "What is with your love affair for the alliteration?" It's true. Many times, someone has stopped me and asked that. (That is, if many times is somewhere around two.) So what is with my love affair for the alliteration?

Truth be told, I was born an alliteration for the parents named me as such. They named me something close to Abigail Anderson. Close. And while I was dating, I only laid eyes upon others whose namesake included an alliteration. All of my husbands have alliterations for names.

Can you image the saddness on each of my wedding days? For unless I married an Aston or an Adams or even an Ackerman, I had to say bye-bye to my appointed alliteration. I didn't have to give up my last name and alliteration, per se, but I'm mostly a traditional gal and want my chitlins to share the same last name as me.

Hello husband. Adios alliteration.

Can you see why, when naming myself for the blogging community, it was important that this blogging community name have an alliteration? RR. Rabid Runner. Rabid fer short.

I have this mom. She's an exceptional character. Full of humor and full of love for the English language. So much did she love this English language, that she spent close to 20 years in a high school library. She also spent my entire existence advocating proper grammar. This mom of mine was rather fond of the clever placement of words. And one trick she taught was the use of an alliteration. An alliteration forces one to be clever. It makes the mind stretch beyond the obvious to find something somewhat "off."

My mom has her own alliterative agname. It's Summy Smeltzer. Funny, yes? Yes! But what's funnier, is how the nickname came to be. Her Ma and Pa needed mats for both the front and back doors. So they ran on down to the hardware store and browsed through the bargain bin for mats. Lo and behold, there were two mats in that bargain bin. Both were custom orders from folks who wanted their last names printed on their welcome mats. Both were printed incorrectly. Both were tossed aside as unacceptable. One was printed "Summy" and the other "Smeltzer."

So the Ma and Pa (My Grandma and Pa) purchased these mats for use at their door steps. Summy in front. Smeltzer in the back. Her friends thought it was funny and began to call her Summy Smeltzer. People still call her Summy and Summy Smeltzer when she's in trouble. (Like when she took my brother and four of his friends to the top of the Alpine Loop with big wheels. Let 'em ride those babies all the way down. The only big wheel that made it without falling apart was the Green Machine. Remember the Green Machine?)

Why do I tell you this story? Well several reasons. To show a little bit of heritage and to give a gander at where I came from. But mostly I tell you this because Summy isn't doing so well now. She's currently in intensive care recovering from the emergency removal of a blood clot on her brilliant little brain, a clot that came as a result of a stroke.

So if you're the prayin' kind, can I borrow a prayer or two? Just ask Whoever it is you pray to for help with Rabid's mom. They'll know who you're talking about. And while you're at it, could you spare a prayer for Stepmonster Moe? With his sweetheart in a fragile fix, he could use a bit of comfort too.

Much thanks!



rookie cookie said...

What a bust. I am sending good vibes your way. And isn't your sister studying abroad???

When you wrote about a misspelled custom order, it reminded me of my sister in-law. She has a big cheesy Christmas countdown wall hanging that doesn't say "Merry Christmas", it says "Voss the Wyatt's". Apparently, Lillian Vernon, or whoever is big into the custom embroidery misspelled "The Voss Wyatt's". My sister in-law saw it in a thrift store and thought it was hilarious, so it hangs on her wall during the holidays. So instead of calling me to wish me Merry Christmas, she calls to say "Voss The Wyatt's".

Ryan said...

i was always a fan of auto-alliteration, all the more so since i shared initials with rock & roll, rolls-royce, and rest & relaxation. not as cool as adam ant, american airlines, and a certain cup size, but i held my own (and am not surprised that you co-opted the initialism).     

too funny that you limited your finding pool to potential mates adhering to alliterative identification. almost as awesome as france's football coach eschewing scorpios. glad your technique paid off better than his!

hoping the very best for summy and moe (and you) from san diego.

megan said...

just landed in the sunny state of arizona...going to bed...and praying ;)

rabidrunner said...

Thank you friends!

Ryan, a certain cup size? Which? You know they all come in alliteratives now...

Makell said...

I've missed my daily dose of Rabid~! I hope your mom has improved since you posted this -I'm a little late but I'll pray for her and for you. I read your post about her practicing her violin in the bathroom and I totally get that. The acoustics ARE better - I remember my mom doing the same thing. I think I've been inspired to get my violin out and actually start practicing again. Gracias for that :)