Sunday, June 06, 2010

Creationism vs Findism

The Rabid Family was browsing the local bookstore the other night. I had wandered on over 'ta the journal section and found this little gem:

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My first thought was, "I am so screwed. I was really hoping to Find Myself. I'm done with this Create Myself crap. I'm ready to join the Findist crowd."

You see, the last few weeks have been a bit trying. There is no particular reason. On paper, with lists of achievements and luxuries, we're doing just fine -- better than most. Trouble is, the Rabid has been in a funk of sorts. Funkified, and not in a good way. I have been bad funkified, wherein this funkified term is a candy-coated version of bitchified.

In fact, the Spouse was leaving the other day. He wandered over to my scowling, sour-puss semblance and told me he loved me. I said, "Even though I'm a bitch?" And he said, "Yip. 'Cause you're my bitch."

Quite a pair aren't we?

Want more proof of my funkified frame of faculty? An empty (family-sized) jar of Nutella. Consumed by the one and only me:

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(Noticed that it's licked clean.)

This evidence goes to show that the "action" around here ain't so great. Now before you blame me for holding out, you can use that chicken or egg metaphor. Do we have an empty jar of Nutella because Spouse isn't getting any? Or is that empty jar of Nutella a result of me not getting any? Such mysteries.

Anyway, not doing so great. When I happened on this journal book, titled "Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself," I wanted to throw a princess fit. I don't wanna Create Myself anymore. I just want to sit around and let things Find Me.

Creationists take life by the horns. They plan stuff. They make stuff happen. They take full responsibility for their lives -- where they are now, the choices they've made.

Findists sit around and let stuff happen. They don't plan. They blame others for their lives -- where they are now, the choices they didn't "get" to make. Findists are victims who sit around and complain.

Spouse and I have had this "Find" joke for a while. It started about the time we decided that going to India was on the bucket list. Actually, to clarify, going to India was on my bucket list. It wasn't necessarily on Spouse's bucket list -- it was more on Spouse's gotta-go-to-keep my job list. While reading up on this treasure called India, we happened upon many travel agencies and whatnot that were hosting trips to India that were structured so as you can "Find Yourself."

So that was the joke. We're going to India to Find Ourselves.

Truth is, there's some truth to that Finding Yourself in India business. India is humbling. A mere 24 hours in India is plenty of time to Find how truly self-importantly self-absorbed we Americans are. It's enough to Find our little and insignificant existence. And finally, 24 hours is enough to Find that we know nothing of the hard work and living conditions that come with poverty.

Most people go to India and Find that they are spoiled rotten. At least I did.

I suppose you Find yourself by discovering and appreciating the life you've Created for yourself; by looking that life in the eyes and taking credit for both the good and the bad, by taking action, by accepting consequences, by learning from mistakes, by giving, and most of all, by showing gratitude.

Trouble is, Creating Yourself, this Creationism, is hard work. It ain't easy. And lately I want to be easy. Er... have it easy.

Last week, when I was in a particular sour mood, I found myself at Yoga. At this Yoga joint I frequent, the instructor always starts with a theme. The theme for this particular class was attitude. When she started her feel goodisms about attitude -- you know like, change is about attitude, progression is about attitude, being happy is about attitude, yadi yadi yadi -- I looked around. Everyone else was soakin' it up like a sponge, with big cheesing smiles and shoulders held high. They were ready to have positive mental attitudes. I, on the other hand, just wanted to be mental. Instead of rolling my mat up and heading for home, I decided to roll my eyes and deal. I can handle this power in positive nonsense.

About mid-way through the class, she started in on the attitude stuff again. She started to say that in order for us all to grow or improve, in all aspects of life and not just Yoga, we must get out of our comfort zones, we must remove the habit of being comfortable.

I gave up and put myself in balasana (child pose.)

"Listen Lady," I said in my orneriest of thinking tones. "I woke up at 4:40 today, ran to the top of a 1500-foot mountain (and back down), followed that with a self-applied full-body waxing, only to attempt my version of yoga among a room-full of bendy dancers, where my relative stiffness makes the football players look flexible. To top it all, I had to hire a babysitter in order to make it here.  I AM FAR FROM COMFORTABLE!"

I just realized that I have no idea where this is going.

I will say this, however. Struggle brings strength. There must be opposition in all things. We must have the bad days to appreciate the good ones.  So maybe, if I do decide to ditch the Findism and go for Creationism once again, my version of Creationism will be the act of creating discomfort.

 I'm good at that. Just ask Spouse.

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10 comments:

C.C. said...

Sorry things are in a funk. Hopefully that changes soon. I'm quite impressed that you are able to self apply a full body waxing to yourself....that takes talent Rabid. Talent I say. As does eating a family size container of Nutella, but I say that since I can't touch the stuff. Cheer up friend!

Keli said...

I've been stalking you for a while now, not in a creepy way, I promise, but I just had to comment today.

Can I just say I love that Spouse called you his bitch? That is so my and my husbands humor. I totally get it.

I get the strength from struggle thing, too. But when is enough strength enough? I'm feeling pretty strong, so I'm just sending that up to the Indian Yogi in the sky to let Him know he can lay off already.

Keep up the great blogging. Love it!

Ski Bike Junkie said...

This funk thing must be contagious and spread via virtual interwebs contact. I like what you say about going to India and realizing you're spoiled, but that ain't doing it for me. I want to feel even more spoiled than I am. Is that bad? I mean, I'm willing to work for my spoiledness, so I guess I'm wanting to be more creationist (though I'm not a creationist in that sense of the word) about being more spoiled. Because even though relative to India, we've got it way good, relative to the Joneses maybe not always so much. And I live in Draper, not Bangalore.

radracer said...

I'm voting with Ski Bike Junkie that this funk thing is indeed contagious. Having been foiled in the creation process twice this year by friggin' lotteries; I'm ready to jump on the finding bandwagon. Problem is, I want to know where the wagon is going before I get on, can I afford the wagon ride, and will I like the wagon ride? Will I like the people on the wagon? Will Mrs. radracer, kid 1 and kid 2 tolerate me on the wagon ride? etc. and so forth. Rats. There we go having creating thoughts again.

I give up. I'm going to buy two boxes of Pop Tarts. Maybe they will last more than two days.

rabidrunner said...

C.C. - 'Tis true, self waxation is a talent that takes many years to master.

Keli - Welcome! Pleasure to make your acquaintance. I'm glad someone understood the bitch joke, although the mother-in-law might be gasping with grief over her sweet little boy calling me his bitch!

Junkie - I get that wanting to be more spoiled thing. I like things. I love things. I love things that cost lots of money. I cannot be satisfied by what the Jones have. I WANT IT ALL. And then some. The material girl in me tries to stay grounded by remembering and referencing the India trip.

Rad - You're so dang funny. So dang funny. What's even funnier, is few people will know that your experience with the lotteries has more to do with bicycle races and less to do with having your lucky number pulled to win a million. What kind of pop tarts did you buy?

radracer said...

Apple Strudel. That was the only kind they had in stock. (Along with three Ding Dong's and a box of Club Crackers.) One package of crackers is already gone. Those crackers are saving the pop tarts from rapid extinction.

Ryan said...

since when are nutella and action mutually exclusive?

Aubrey said...

This is really a beautiful post. Cheers to you! Having watched you create my entire life, I am sure you will find something stellar.

Makell said...

Wow - you really went after that nutella! That is impressive :) You bring up an interesting idea -I had to think about what I was...Creationist/ Findist I think I have many creationist friends that invite me to come along with all the awesome stuff that they have created. That seems to work great!! I wonder if I'm lazy?! Ha!
Amen to the 'finding out how spoiled we are' when you go to a 3rd world county to find yourself. Amen in so many ways.

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