Rabid Cooking: The Hot Dog Man

Today marks my first post in a series of posts titled Rabid Cooking. These posts are not Cooking With Rabid, they are Rabid Cooking. The two are very different. The proof is in the semantics. Rabid Cooking is Cooking with the adverb Rabid. Rabid means "irrationally extreme in opinion or practice," therefore Rabid Cooking will consist of extreme recipes in opinion or practice.

First on our list of Rabid Cookering, is the Hot Dog Man. When the Sister and I were little, we'd spend weekends and whatnot with our Daddy. We'd ice skate and ski, fly kites, build forts, hike, run rivers, watch sports and chase birds. It was great fun. For a while, our Mom went vegetarian on us. We didn't have much meat at home. In addition to all of that weekend warrioring, The Dad would lure us over with bits of meat. Lots of it. After a while, weekends with Daddy became synonymous with meat.


One of My Dad's signature meat recipes was The Hot Dog Man.

Step 1: With paring knife, add slits to hot dog like so:

Step 2: Microwave hot dog for 30-40 seconds. 

Hot dog man should show four distinct limbs:

Step 3: Add ketchup eyes and mustard buttons:

Step 4: Feed to young 

(or old, no age restrictions on this here recipe):

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