Wednesday, April 21, 2010


How about some bidtits today?  (Not to be confused with bigtits, it's more like tidbits but funnier.  And more meaningful.)

- Most important, on this list of bidtits, is the fact that as of today, I have finally completed my agreement to fill out the Winder's Adoption Reference letter.  She sent me this letter thingee a while back with words of, "Don't worry about hurrying.  It'll take us three months to get everything finished."  Now.  If by chance you want me to do something for you, do not tell me I have three months to do it.  I will take all three of those months.  It's not that I'm a procrastinator, it's just that within the confines of my tiny little brain, three months never corresponds to "urgent."

- Speaking of The Winder, can ya'll help me find her a baby?  Do any of you have a baby you don't want any more?  Or do you know of a anyone with child that would prefer she not raise it?  The Winder's lookin'.  She needed a child yesterday.  Again, in the confines of my tiny brain, yesterday corresponds to "urgent."  Therefore it is my hope and prayer that you see this baby-catching stuff as "urgent" too.

- Baby-catching.  That's prolly not a good thing to call it.  Remember the Child Catcher?  From Chitty Chitty Bang Bang?  That guy still gives me the creeps.  Here he is...


-  The Winder doesn't resemble the Child Catcher.  At all.  Except when she laughs.  Sometimes she cackles like him. Here's the Winder and Delmar on their wedding day -- just to prove that they aren't as scary as the Child Catcher.


- Okay, that wasn't really their wedding day.  It was Halloween.  But here she is back in her baton twirling "day."  She's the one with the yellow spikes.


- Today was walk-a-thon day.  Remember when the walk-a-thon was all about the March of Dimes?  And you actually walked for hours?  Now they only walk for one hour.  In the singular.  So lame.  Irregardless, I presented my person to help facilitate the ritual of children walking in a big oval for one hour.  I like to attend events that involve the feet traipsing about an oval.  Skates are fun to watch race around an oval too.  Here's Yahoo #1 after finishing:


- Incidentally, they decided not to have kindergarten do the walk-a-thon on the same day as the rest of the school.  I have no idea why.  All I know is they sent a note home, informing us slacker parents that the Kindergarten walk-a-thon would take place at 9:30.  This slacker parent showed up only to be told that the note was sent home in error.  So Yahoo #2 gets to do the walk-a-thon later.  He was seriously bummed.  Even wore his Batman t-shirt.

- Get a load of this kid.  I laughed so hard every time he/she came around.  There's nothing funnier than a second grader in a Reagan Bush '84 t-shirt.


- When I dropped Spouse off for surgery last week, they informed us that he needed an XXL t-shirt to wear over his slung (with a sling) arm.  Here's what I came up with.  Note that it is not a great idea to send me for stuff when you, yourself, are out of commission.  

Notice fancy ice machine hose and remote with DVR.  
He got a "Goonies Never Say Die" in XXL too.

- Spouse has 10:00pm chats with India.  Yes, all 1.2 billion of India.  Here's what he looks like:


- We're in the process of purchasing computers.  Computers in the plural.  And you know what I've decided?  Apple could rule the world if only they'd charge less.  I mean, here we are looking for two machines.  And the cost of two PCs of equal-ish hardware equals one Mac.  I know what all you Mac-o-files are saying out there.  You're saying there's no comparison.  You're saying it's worth the extra cash.  However, aside from the mePhone and a few mePods, I've never owned a Mac.  This means that knowingly, I do not not what I'm missing.  If I do purchase a Mac, I have no doubt that it will change my universe.  But it also means that it's another damn thing I cannot live without.  And that current list of things I cannot do without is a large one.

- I have a race this weekend.  It's another 1/2 marathon that will allow me a guaranteed ticket into the St. George.  I love the St. George.  So much so, do I love this St. George, that saying "I heart the St. George" will not cut it.  I must spell out that "love" word in it's entirety.  I have two more St. Georges to finish before I'm in the 10-year club.  Being in the 10-year club is a big deal because you get a guaranteed ticket into the race without doing the Runner's Series fiasco each year.

- I haven't decided if I'm going to taper for this race.  I'm feeling healthy now.  Might be a good weekend to "lay it all on the line" so to speak.  We'll see...

- It's April 21st and I'm still pretty busy.  What's up with that?  Tax season ends on April 15, right?  When will it end?  The boss phoned today.  He asked if I wanted to get started on the new landing pages for next year.  Holy crap I nearly fell off my chair.  Can't I have a week off?  Then he hit me up for 401k and other profit sharing retirement jazz that's only offered with 1000 hours a year.  It appears as though I might need to lobby fiercely to keep my way-part-time status.

- Oh and speaking of lobbies -- specifically, the lobbies of restaurants.  Remember that little tangent about the Utah Valley Magazine?  Well, wouldn't you know, the "owner and editor" of said magazine read my little post and became "frightened."  She offered to take me to lunch so as I could talk about ideas for the magazine.  Or something like that.  I'm half tempted.  She prolly just wants to size me up, you know, to make sure that I'm really just a geek in a basement.  I've read her super-bio, which includes some super-accolades, so I'll say right now... babe, you're better than me.  However, part of me wants to show her in person that the mag's demographic doesn't include a 30-something, cynically-sarcastic geek in a basement (my super-accolade.)  Bottom line:  I rarely do lunch.  I don't have time to "do lunch."  If I make time to "do lunch" it will be for people I know and love and trust.



Winder said...

Thanks! I am sure to catch a child soon with you on my side.

Be happy you haven't owned a mac. I have (well, it was one of the few teaching perks). Now I am without and miss it terribly, horribly. Like a no good very bad day.

Sparks said...

Did you know that a comment on blogger cannot be longer than 4,096 characters? Well, that's the case. So I'm going to have to break this "comment" into two pieces in order to get it all in. What can I say--I'm verbose.

I am here. You knew I would be and here I am.

(Thing is, it's so damn cold here that my hands are stiff and typing is tough. See I just went and did some Visiting Teaching (I know, way crazy, right?) and when I came out of Mandy's house it was freaking snowing. So my paws are in recovery.)

Macs are expensive. And yes, they're worth it. But the cost is mitigated by the fact that you don't have to replace them as often as you do PCs. Buy yourself a cheap Dell laptop and you'll be replacing it in a year-year and a half. Buy a MacBook Pro and you'll have it for years. As in, Mark's had his for three years now and my mom's had her iMac for . . . wait for it . . . Five. And they're both still humming, smooth functioning machines running the latest operating system, Snow Leopard (which I could not live without; you understand).

They are expensive. They are worth it. And they live longer and happier than PCs.

Watch me as I brag right now: My birthday is on Monday and Mark couldn't keep his luscious mouth shut regarding my present (it is always this way). So I know what I'm getting. A so-freaking-souped-up-it-makes-me-want-to-cry MacBook Pro. My own! The latest generation1 That just came out last week! (You see all this exclamation mark usage? This is serious business.) Presently I have an iMac but no Mac laptop (they prefer you call it a notebook though because laptops get hot and burn your lap, so you should keep them on a hard surface instead--to protect your ahem ahems), and that's about to change. I swear to you, if this man wasn't already my husband I'd marry him.

Sparks said...

Now, the reason I brag: that machine that I know I will love and caress and have a hard time leaving when I go to work--as bringing it to work would be the kind of distraction that you don't so much recover from--it was expensive. Yes, even with Mark's Apple employee discount it was the most expensive thing anyone has ever purchased for me (aside from a car and my college education). And it freaked me out.

"Holy &$%#ing &#*%!" says I. "We can't afford that! No one can afford that! You mean to tell me that people just walk into your store and drop that kind of change right there on the spot? Holy stars." (Yes, I really say things like "Holy stars.")

Husband tells me, "No, they don't pay that much, because I had yours custom made."

This is when I tear up--a MacBook Pro, built 'specially for me.

"But it's so expensive. I don't deserve that!"

He disagrees, because he's, well, awesome (and right).

He reminds me that I'm starting school in January--calls me a "writer!"--and that I get paid to design stuff and design programs (especially when I have a bajillion fonts) take a whole heap a' somethin' to run quickly, and I like to be on the move, so this is a logical thing, this expensive machine. And then he reminds me how long he's had his. It's not as if we're throwing good money after bad with this purchase (as is the case with PCs, I'm sayin'); it keeps!

So the money is much and it might given me a piece of peace for my mind if added to savings instead, but it's a smart purchase. A sure purchase. A purchase that gives back. And for me, that's good enough.

Now, (hey, isn't it great how I'm writing a big, long, long post in your comment section--this is what happens when I don't blog and get a thought anyhow) I am happy to admit that not everyone understands the benefit of front-loading this kind of technology cost. A lot up front so I don't have to pay any later. (And I have a machine I don't ever yell at, which is most certainly not the case with my work PC.) I am a Mac person. I've pledged myself to a MacLife, which means I'm more apt to take a deep breath and run the ole debit card in the name of a perfect piece of machinery. Not everyone can do that. And I understand.

A parallel, if you'll allow me: I sell a drug for afib, as you know. And it's expensive. It is; I'm not going to sugar coat it. Cash-pay, it's very costly. But its outcomes data has demonstrated a statistically significant reduction in cardiovascular hospitalizations and death. So though it is more costly than some other now-generic drugs in its class, it does something they cannot: it saves insurance companies a ton of money in hospitalizations. The other drugs in the class have actually demonstrated an increase in hospitalizations because of their wicked adverse event profile. They cost less up front because they're generic, but in the end they are thousands and thousands of dollars more costly. My drug: expensive now--not expensive later. Others in the class: cheap now--expensive later.

You just need to make a choice regarding when you want to spend your money: now or later when the expenses will be more significant.

And with that, I leave you.

My hands have thawed.

C.C. said...

I'd like to bear my Macimony. I know Apple to be true. I love all my apple products. They are never slow. They have never crapped out on me like my previous HP products, which by the way lasted 1-2 years tops and had shoddy customer care, oh and the apple care folk....yeah I would service them for the service they provide. I love Apple that much.

Also can I just say that track regalia has come a long way in the last couple years. We should find Winder a baby mama.

megan said...

I'm skipping the apple're not reeling me in with that line...I prefer to stick to the AWESOME tshirt...and I can't get that song out of my head now...that made me laugh seeing that image (was it the shirt or the fact that he couldn't do anything about you snapping the picture?) the random comments posts...just one big run-on sentence! Oh if the Utah magazine lady read your blog post...doesn't that mean that she'll be reading the post about her reading the post? :)

Makell said...

Mac Mac Mac Mac Mac Mac Mac Mac Mac....did I mention Mac? Because I, like Sparks' comment above, am a recent convert and am completely sold! You don't even need to use antiviral software - it's like Aerial sings, "A whole new world". Really. Plus, you are a fantastic writer and that is just one more reason. You'd be like the triple threat - good writing, a mac, and your supermom cape.

Maybe you could sell one of your children to Winder to get some extra cash for your Mac? That would take care of 2 problems at once... except if you like/are in love with/adore/couldn't live without your little yahoos, that may be a bit of a problem.

And also - I think you should do lunch with the editor of the magazine - maybe she'd do a write-up on you?! You'd have to think of a good title for the article.....Like "The Happy Hookers of Happy Valley" or something? I know there are quite a few good ones that we could come up with if she wants some assistance. (and I just met you! Think of what all of your longtime peeps could add!)

Alright - this is a long comment and Becks just yelled that he is making sugar popcorn for breakfast, so I'd best be off! :)

Jessica said...

Macs are good.

Only two more times until you are in the 10-year club for The George? You are amazing.

And that shirt? On the little boy? Did they find that at the DI or did they have that special-made? Awesome.

And although I would like to see you "do lunch" with the "owner and editor", it makes sense to me that "doing lunch" is something that is reserved for special people. That's a good rule.

Winder said...

C.C.-- The track regalia changed drastically within a year of that photo. I mean drastically. Didn't have a digital copy of the good stuff to share.

Did you notice how low the front of that little gem was. Good thing I didn't have bidtits.

Note to self: scan the good track photos.

rabidrunner said...

Sparks. Wow. Wow. Wow. Note that if the afib drug sales goes kaput, there's always Mac sales. Wow. Also, why did I think your birthday was on Saturday the 24th? I was two days early. Good to know now.

CC, we've heard of the crack-whore, you might be the world's first mac-whore. Hehehehe, that made me laugh.

Megan, I don't know of the song you are singing... care to share? Or am I dense? Don't answer that... I know I'm dense. I also doubt Owner and Editor lady reads my blog. She found me because I had a link that referenced the magazine in the last post. So unless she comes here often AND makes it through that boring post, she won't find it. If she does, that's okay with me. I have nothing against her personally, I don't even have anything against the mag, it's just as opposite from my existence as is possible.

Makell, you're so very kind. I think I want to get me a little stitch 'n bitch club called "The Happy Hookers of Utah Valley." That would be fun. Wanna join? To be honest, my biggest fear about meeting with this owner and editor gal, is that she'll write something about me. I like not being "known." I like that no one really comes here. My blog is a relatively safe place for me... and if lots of people start reading it--especially Utah Vallyites--it would cease to be safe. Or maybe not, who knows.

Jessica, the shirt was new. Like one-or-none-wash new. It totally reminded me of Alex Keeton on the Family Ties. Was that the name of it? Where he was that weird uber republican kid who wore a tie to school? Also, note that I had lunch with you!

radracer said...

One of the arbitrary rules I try to use for living is "Always postpone meetings with time-wasting morons." You are welcome to apply this as you wish to your Happy Valley Lunch Invitation.

Although part of me wants you to go do it just to see what happens. I think this would be good for at least five miles and multiple events. Heck, this could even become stuff that is talked about years from now. 'You remember when The Rabid was written up in a magazine?' Then I could say (brag), "Yeah, I'm friends with famous people."

The last time I somebody I knew became famous via a media write-up up was when said famous person had been arrested for multiple bank robberies and was going to be spending a good amount of time in the pokey.

Winder said...

C.C., No Speedo--lucky us that was a Reebok year. Great year.

Jessica said...

Alex P. Keeton, to be precise. Oh, how I loved that show. That and the show, whose title I can't recall, with the hodge-podge of girls that went to private school together. What was that called?

I was going to mention that I have had lunch with you, but I didn't want the owner-and-editor to get jealous. I'm nice like that.

Blackdog said...

I have been having the same thoughts. I cannot quite pull the trigger.

Ryan said...

i remain a conscientious objector in the mac v pc war, but gotta say, how proudly awesome would it be were all wars waged in such an effort to more deftly satiate my technological desires. a lot proudly awesome.