Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Two Rules Of Early Morning Running

There are two rules of early morning running.  They are:
  1. Make sure stopped cars see you when entering an intersection.
  2. Avoid the paper boy.
On my run this morning, we had a near-miss experience that involved both rules.

Let's begin with rule number one.  When running about streets that cars consider their own, each runner is responsible for not getting hit.  In a perfect world, the drivers of these cars would be responsible for not hitting the runner - but it is never worth the risk to assume any driver is looking for runners.  For this reason, runners and pedestrians must be responsible for establishing eye contact with anyone stopped before entering an intersection.  Never, never, never, assume that a driver sees you.

Rule number two is a bit more random.  Early morning is paper delivery time.  I have found that the person delivering these papers is a dangerous one.  That paper delivery person must be avoided at all costs.  Does anyone out there know what I mean?  The Paper Person drives fast.  And always on the wrong side of the road.  Or in a zig-zag formation.  All lights are on in this Paper Person's vehicle.  Paper Person is usually looking down as if reading something - the paper route, perhaps.  That Paper Person's eyes are rarely looking at the street for other cars, let alone people running.

Wednesday mornings are speed work mornings.  The gang and I met at 4:55 for two miles then a 4 mile tempo.  (A tempo run is one in which you run fast but not all-out fast.  This particular tempo had a 15k to half marathon pace.)  There were three of us up front today (that's me bragging about being up front, by the way.  But I won't mention that the fast people were recovering from races and that's why I was up front.)

Radracer and I were doing our own version of speedy gonzales.  We were cruising down 400 West in Lindon.  There isn't a lot of traffic around those parts in the way early morning, so things were going nicely.  Until.  Until we approached an intersection wherein a car was coming up the hill.  That car had a stop sign.

We kept running.  I decided to swing out wide, so that when the car stopped, he/she would be able to see us.   I reasoned that once the car stopped, we'd be more than half-way through the intersection.

Except the car didn't stop.  He blew right through stop sign - dome lights on and reading something in his lap.  Classic Paper Boy.  That Boy missed hitting Rad by only a foot and missed me by three or so.  And because the Boy had his eyes in his lap, he didn't even know we were there!

Meanwhile, two houses up on the opposite side of the street, a police officer was parked and half-asleep.  Outnback ran past the officer's window and startled the poor cop just in time for the cop to witness the near auto-pedestrian collision.  Mr. Police Officer had that Paper Boy pulled over quicker than you can say What The Hell?!

Made me think of another near-miss.  We all spent the rest of the run being more grateful than normal.

Here's a diagram just in case I totally confused you.  (I offer my diagram services if any of you are interested.)

Photobucket

10 comments:

Lars said...

How come Outnback doesn't come into play until the final scenes? I really like this diagram. Love in fact. I also enjoy all the nicknames the Crack O' Dawners have (is that the right name of your running group?) Lastly, have you ever done a hash run? Sans booze of course...

megan said...

The diagram reminds me of a certain driving school diagram...hmm must've been schooled under the same tutelage?

Makell said...

I'm glad you're running angels were with you this morning! You girls are lucky - and that paper boy is, too! He could have been walking away with much more than a ticket if anything had happened. That is the scariest thing about running - the drivers that are at the same time texters, lipglossers, makeup applicationers, etc.

p.s.
I would like a diagram service for the inside of my brain - do you do those, too? It's all a big jumble in there after the kiddos.

Makell said...

I meant 'your' not you're. See why I need a brain map?

Jessica said...

1. I'm glad you're okay.
2. I once delivered a whole paper route with my brother in my mom's car. With the E-brake partially on.
3. Maybe you should start running with those flashing lights attached to you?

Ryan said...

what an eerie coincidence. reminds me of another blog i read this morning from distracteddeliverer:

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Two Rules Of Early Morning Paper Delivery


There are two rules of early morning paper delivery. They are:

1. Make sure runners don’t realize that you see them when entering an intersection.
2. Avoid the donut boy.

On my route this morning, I had a near-miss experience involving one rule, and a head-on collision involving the other.

Let's begin with rule number one. When delivering papers about streets that runners consider their own, each deliverer is responsible for not getting hit. In a perfect world, the runners would be responsible for not hitting the front of delivery vehicles - but it is never worth the risk to assume any runner is looking for deliverers. For this reason, deliverers must be responsible for avoiding eye contact with any runner approaching an intersection. Never, never, never, let a runner see you see them, lest they assume as a result that you will stop, and run out to hit your delivery vehicle.

Rule number two is a bit more random. Early morning is Time to make the donuts! I have found that the person devouring these donuts is a dangerous one. That Donut Devourer must be avoided at all costs. Does anyone out there know what I mean? The Donut Devourer wants an excuse to drive fast. And a reason to pull you over to the side of the road. Sometimes in a zig-zag formation. All lights are ready to flash on this donut devouring vehicle. Donut Devourer is usually looking down as if sleeping. That Donut Devourer’s eyes are rarely looking at the street for other cars, only yours, the moment you make the slightest mistake. Breaking rule number one, for instance...

Aubrey said...

Oksy doksy...I did not read the post...but wow, that diagram is something fierce. you make me giggle.

Winder said...

Ok, I am a little slow. Glad I still have my friend.

I feel there should be some monitoring of the paper delivery people. The one that cruises through our neighborhood at 5:15ish. Needs a new muffler and some speed control. He makes it so we can't open our window to enjoy pleasant temps.

Winder said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Julia said...

Now I know why I gave up early morning running. I was trying to prolong my life expectancy. But I'll remember this if I'm ever a REAL runner again.