Monday, January 18, 2010

Hickup or Hickout

Last night we were watching some home video.  It was video of Yahoo #1 playing the piano while I was giving instructions in the background.  You can't see me, but boy-oh-boy can you hear me.

I sound like a hick.

I realize everyone has issues with their own recorded voice.  But I sound like I grew up in Spanish Fork or worse... that dreadful desert called Delta.  Or even worster, Sanpete County - that place with all the turkeys.  Once we finished watching the Yahoo receive instructions from his hick-mom, I turn to Spouse.  "I sound like a hick, don't I.  Do I sound like a hick?  Come on, be honest.  Do I sound like a hick?"

Spouse is the right person to ask when it comes to all things hickish for he spent all of his high school years in Memphis, Tennessee.  He knows a hick when he sees one.  And he worked his darndest to ensure that when he left Memphis, he wouldn't return, and he wouldn't have an accent.

As a side note, can you believe that Spouse never made it to Graceland?  He spent four years in Memphis and never made it to Graceland.  I dare say that's a shame.  I'm trying to convince him that he should attend his next high school reunion so as I can drop him off at the party then head on over to Graceland and pay some respects to Elvis.

So there I was, asking about the nature of my hick voice, to see if I've acquired that redneck Utah accent, and you know what he says?  "Babe.  You wouldn't be here if you spoke like a hick."

This is good news, yes?  Of course it's good news because Mr. Too-Good-Fer-Memphis has deemed me hickless.  However, one must read between lines.  "You wouldn't be here if you spoke like a hick" also says that my speaking the hick dialect is a deal breaker.  As in Spouse'd drop me like a two-bit cowgirl if'n I were ever to speak with that lazy Utah drawl. Do you see what this means?  I cannot develop any sort of hick accent.  Else Spouse and the Yahoos would be living in this here house without me.

So... does anyone know a good speech therapist?

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7 comments:

Lars said...

Speech therapy in Utah may be counter productive no?

Staci said...

Always wondered if I have that Utah accent. Probably do because I can't hear it.

rabidrunner said...

Excellent observation Lars. Excellent. So now the question is, which state do I pick for speech therapy? Not Minnesota for I like the way I say "about" and "bars". Not Massachusetts because that "Pocked the Cah in the Hahvahd Yard" thing is annoying. Not New Yoke, because I really think the "R" is important and should be pronounced as such. And certainly not California because I say "like" way too much already.

Colorado? Yeah, Colorado. See Spouse? There's another plus for moving to Colorado.

Staci, you don't speak like hick. Trust me.

Julie said...

Um, I grew up in Sevier County...more hick than Sanpete. I escaped scott free of an accent...except of course when I speak to my Grandparents who still live there. Why I speak to my grandparents with a hick accent I have no idea.

Lived in Colorado for awhile. They don't have accents. But a lot of people who do have them move there. It's weird.

Winder said...

Well, I grew up down thar in American Fark. I lived in a house by the crick. I ain't got no akcent so it don't matter where you live. Just matters how well ya talk.

Jessica said...

Like, what do you mean? Like, do you mean, like, people in California use like, like, way too much?

Like, I totally disagree.

megan said...

Kathy (a.k.a "my mom") would take you on for free...of course you'd have to sit with the other preschoolers at her poverty-stricken elementary school :) and hope that you don't come out with the ability to roll your r's.