Wednesday, November 18, 2009

My Hairbranded Lost Theory

* If you don't watch that silly show Lost, this post will not make any sense to you. Or maybe it might. Who knows. Perhaps you could give it a try? You might learn something new - like how I have an uncanny ability to BS my way through anything.


Here's My Hairbrained Lost Theory


Do you remember Jacob, son of Abraham? Jacob is the father of 12 sons who's heritage is believed to encompass much of planet. There is a theory that many who walk on the earth today are descendants of one of those sons. It's in the Bible. The Old Testament to be exact.

Those 12 sons (Reuben, Simeon, Levi, Judah, Dan, Naphtali, Gad, Asher, Issachar, Zebulun, Joseph, Benjamin) and their descendants are the 12 Tribes of Israel.

In regards to Lost, what if the whole premise of the show was inspired by Jacob and his sons. It is said that: "The time will come when through the gospel of Jesus Christ, Ephraim [Jacob's brother] will have a leadership role in uniting all the tribes of Israel" Isa. 11: 12-13. And, "The Lord shall gather the house of Israel from the people among whom they are scattered," Ezek. 28: 25.

It is prophesied, that in the last days, the Lord will gather the tribes of Israel. Mormons believe this strongly. In the Book of Mormon, it says, "After Israel is scattered, they will be gathered," 1 Ne. 15: 12-17.

Now what on earth does this have to do with Lost? Let me tell you!

Maybe, quite possibly, that Lost show is a metaphor for the Gathering of Israel; the Gathering of the 12 Tribes.

(I like metaphors. A lot. I'm pretty sure I became a Mormon because they use a lot of metaphors. As an added bonus, Mormon+Metaphor=Alliteration. Alliterations make my heart sing.)

What if Jacob of the Island is really Jacob, brother of Esau, father of all those sons? One of those sons being Joseph (as in amazing technicolor dreamcoat Joseph). What if Jacob is trying to gather all 12 tribes of Israel on the island? When the Lost strandedites (from flight 815) were getting lists of people for "Jacob," they were looking for those that that belong to lost tribes. Ponder that for a minute, while I gather more thoughts.

To demonstrate this, I assigned a character in Lost to each one of Jacob descendants.

Desmond is Joseph because he has dreams, can see the future, saves the bacon of others. Father Jacob blesses Joseph with: "Joseph is a fruitful tree by a spring, whose branches climb over the wall. The archers savagely attacked him, shooting and assailing him fiercely, but Joseph's bow remained unfailing and his arms were tireless by the power of the Strong One of Jacob, by the name of the Shepherd of Israel, by the God of your father--so may he help you! By God Almighty--so may he bless you with the blessings of heaven above, and the blessings of the deep that lies below! The blessings of breast and womb and the blessings of your father are stronger than the blessings of the eternal mountains and the bounty of the everlasting hills. May they rest on the head of Joseph, on the brow of him who was prince among his brother." (Genesis 49:22-26)

Ben is Benjamin. Biblical Benjamin's mother, Rachel passed away after giving birth. Lost Ben's mother also passed away during child birth. Benjamin means son of pain. Benjamin would test his brothers often, moved to Caanan to live with the ites (see Judah below). Believed to have died without sin... I don't know about that part, however, Lost Ben is most definitely a sinner. Maybe he is redeemed in the last days (season)?

Kate is Dinah for Jacob did have a daughter. Dinah is raped and Simeon and Levi take revenge. Seems Sawyer and Jack are constantly getting revenge when it comes to Kate. Seems like a good match.

Charlie is Rueben because he's a slut, became repentant later and convinces his brothers not to kill Joseph. Interestingly enough, Charlie drowned. In Genesis 49:4, it says that Rueben is "Unstable as water, have not thou the excellency."

(Notice how I used "slut" when referring to a Biblical story. You might want to cast a stone my way. However, think again! Have you read the Old Testament lately? Holy cow it's racy.)

Sawyer is Simeon who is vengeful in nature, killed many and destroyed a city over the rape of his sister. Did so with Levi. Revenge is a big thing for Sawyer as it is with Simeon. Simeon had a chip on his shoulder because of his birthright. "Because the LORD had heard that I was hated, he had therefore given me this son also: and she called his name Simeon." Genesis 29:33. Sawyer felt unwanted and whatnot when he was a child.

Jack is Levi because he is jealous, vengeful, believes in forgiving people, he is also great-granddaddy to Moses. As we all know, Moses led the Children of Israel from captivity. There are many references in Lost to Jack being Moses. Levi and Simeon would mislead the people. Jack and Sawyer would do the same. The Levite Tribe is known to be "particularly pious." We all know Jack is pious. Pompous and pious.

Locke is Gad. Gad means luck or fortunate. Locke sure was lucky when he landed on the island and could miraculous walk again, right? Gad's mother wasn't a wife, but rather a handmaid - you know, making him one of those b-word things. Locke was b-work thing too - raised all of his life not knowing his father.

Hurly is Asher. Asher means happy or blessing. Asher was among the brothers who sold Joseph into slavery. Asher was constantly torn between his brothers - being pulled this-a-way and that-a-way. Hurly did the same. He didn't know who to follow, Jack or Sawyer. Jacob blessed his son Asher before dying with "his bread shall be fat, and he shall yield royal dainties" Hurly is Asher fer sure! He's large is stature, couldn't decide if he was going to go with Locke or Jack and won the lottery.

Syid is Issachar. Issachar took part in campaign against brother Joseph. Jacob blessed that he "saw that settled life was good, and the land was pleasant; he put his shoulder to the burden, and became a slave under forced labour." Syid was a soldier by force. He was threatened by death to kill others - including the woman he loved.

Jin is Zebulun. Zebulun is taken from zibhe, which means sacrifice. Jin sacrificed himself with that Michael ass while others were able to jump on the chopper. Remember that Michael ass? What a selfish ass! (They say ass in the Bible too, you know. Don't be fetchin' stones again.)

Pete Whitmore is Judah. Judah had a thing for controlling who his daughters married. Pete Whitmore didn't want his daughter to marry Desmond. Judah was called the King because he was considered the strongest and was ruler of his brothers. Judah became angry often as Pete Whitmore did. Judah fought the caananites which brother Benjamin was a part of. In the end Judah protected Ben from harm. Maybe the last season will reveal the same for Whitmore and Ben? We shall see!

Claire is Jacob's Wife, Rachel. Notice how Claire just disappears? She's been called back to her beloved, Jacob. You just know the two are off in some cave, reclining in Lazy-boys and drinking umbrella drinks.

Maybe Christian is Esau, a brother to the infamous Jacob? Dunno about that one. Is Christian hairy as Esau was hairy? Not really. However, Jacob and Esau fought for the treasured birthright. Esau traded his birthright for a mess of pottage. Perhaps Christian, knowing that Jacob inhabited the island came back for revenge? Maybe. Genesis 25: 29-34. The island is a metaphor for the birthright!

That leaves Nephtali - which I could easily wrap up into the Lost stuff. He was a swift runner however, so I get to be Nephtali. Maybe the Lost folks will write me in this year. They could have a Lost Island Marathon! I'd win, of course because I'd be Nephtali. He's swift. Even says so in the Bible.

Now you know what I do at church.

8 comments:

Jessica said...

Yeah for BS! Loving this theory. And, hello this is totally allowed at church. Look how many scriptures are in this post.

Sparks said...

I really wish at this moment that I knew what you're talking about. I think I would really dig this.

Jessica said...

Oh Megan, we need to get you hooked on this. I should send you the seasons I have. It's so much better when you watch the episodes consecutively.

Keli'i and Megan said...

Holy smokes, that's an intense theory. Love the theory and totally agree.

Jessica said...

p.s. just heard.

Next season starts February 2 (Tuesday) at 9pm.

Get ready.

XANA-DIVA-DELUX said...

Is there a Technicolor coat? I am on the seat of my chair wanting to dance to the megamix. Really isn't all of life a musical?

DeCoria's said...

Rabid, freaking genius. This is going to keep me up at night....in a good way...scriptures in hand watching old episodes.

Julie said...

And why my name showed up as DeCoria's...I'm not so sure...this is J part of the B&J.