Wednesday, November 25, 2009

I'm Delicate

Today was a very long homesick day. I cried big tears for my Yahoos. Before now, I have never spent more than four nights away and that was when Spouse was home to add stability. A year ago last September, Spouse and I went to Vermont (yeah fer Vermont! Syrup and wedding anyone?) We were gone four nights. Until that time, the Yahoos have never been without both of us for more than one night.

This brings me to a very crucial confession. Ready? Drum roll please.... I have never missed the Yahoos. Never. They have always been very close - both in proximity and time. But now? I miss the Yahoos. Oh how I miss the Yahoos. I miss their fighting. I miss their smiles. I miss the power struggles over choosing clothes. I miss their songs and spaceship noises. I miss cleaning up their crumbs. I miss their smart questions. I miss reminding them to brush their teeth eight times (in the morning and as many as night.) I miss their hugs. I miss their thankfulness. I even miss the mad put-your-damn-shoes-on scramble. (Which is always followed by, "Mom! Don't swear.")

I miss it all. I have giant-cartoon-drop-and-make-that-boink-sound tears.

There are a few things about this trip that have come as a surprise. First, the international tele that Spouse was issued doesn't work. We can call India but we can't call home. Calling home was the reason for the phone in the first place. I haven't been able to contact the home situation like I've wanted.

The other surprise is that I cannot just go out and see stuff. It must be an orchestrated event that includes a driver and someone to come with me. I haven't taken a single picture with my good camera (as opposed to the happy snap camera). I've been too scared to go out and do it. I feel like a moving target out here and the sidewalk situation isn't so good and the traffic is... wow.

Like I said yesterday, I'm delicate. I can't go out there and take pictures of people living their lives in a culture completely opposite of my own. I want to respect space. If these people don't want me taking their pictures, they'll feel bad and then I'll feel bad. Especially if that feeling bad vacillates violent.

I've been informed that I shouldn't be traipsing about on my own. I also have no gauge for what is and what is not appropriate.

Yeah. I'm delicate. I'm no Christiane Amonpour or Ashleigh Banfield, who make their livings by barging into controversial territory and uncovering stuff. I'm no cutting edge journalist with a make-up artist and bodyguard in tow.

How many of you out there have been to a big city? Great. Most cities have a rough area of town, correct? Many of you have haphazardly ended up in that rough part of town, correct? With the exception of the hotel and Spouse's working place, all of India feels "rough" to me. Each part of town is similar to the next. I keep waiting for an excursion that will take us to the city's "safe" section but have yet to see that happen. Today I learned there isn't really one. It's all safe - it just doesn't feel safe because I cannot go traipsing about on my own.

We have some photo excursions in the schedule. I'll post photos soon.

Thanks all, for listening.

p.s. Have I mentioned that the food here is other-worldly-awesome? No? Well it is. It's other-worldly-awesome.

9 comments:

Ryan said...

thanks for traipsing about the blogosphere, sharing snapshots of vulnerability.

The MacMizzles said...

I get your yahoos today. I can't wait! Thanks for selflessly spending your time away locked up in a hotel so that I can spoil them mildly for a few days.

megan said...

5 days...that's my limit for being away...soak it up while you can - find a book :)

Keli'i and Megan said...

I can't even imagine being in India. Very cool and very scary. We're so spoiled here in the states. Have you skyped your yahoos? That way you can see them too, and it's free...

Sparks said...

I wondered yesterday if perhaps you might be missing your boys. This is a really long trip; I'm glad you got to miss things that normally drive you bonkers.

Thinking of you.

Lars said...

I thought of you last night while perusing the curry options at the groceria last night. I have a mad craving for some dal and other indian food.

Nothing wrong with being delicate Rabid. At least you are willing to get out of your comfort zone and experience a new culture and do so respectfully.

Can you google chat the yahoos? May be difficult seeing as you have quite the time difference...

rabidrunner said...

We were able to have a 30 minute skype conversation with the Yahoos last yesterday. (I'm picking up some Indian to English translation mannerisms.) I've been rejuvenated and renewed. It sounds like things are going well at home and that is very reassuring. The Yahoos will be tearing it up with cousins for the rest of the week - this should help them.

rabidrunner said...

By the way, I'm learning vulnerability is a good thing. Very good.

GAK said...

If your like me, I loved the food, but after about 5 days, I ordered up a big Australian raised chunk of ribeye at the restaurant in the 5 star hotel. And foie gras. Fetch that was a good meal.