Wednesday, November 04, 2009

Happy Helpers at the Health Department

Spouse and I spent two hours at the Health Department today. There are some happy people at the Health Department. After those two hours and the first stabbings (of who knows how many more stabbings), I am having many thoughts:

- Those Now Serving Number X operations are more fun at ice cream shots... er, I mean shops.

- Spouse will go bankrupt paying for immunizations. You wanna know how much? Well over $300 per person once the process has gone full-cycle. Not sure how much of that is covered by the insurance.

- Ibuprofen is the nectar of the gods in pill form.

- We don't need the peanut butter shot. Hurray! We can afford bread in Paris.

- Typhoid Fever is a nice way of saying, "You ate something with poop on it." Lucky for us, there's a Typhoid Fever vaccination. Now I can eat something with poop on it.

- How can the human body withstand all of that chemical crap in one day and survive? If you don't hear from me tomorrow, you'll know the human body cannot withstand all that chemical crap in one day.

- Mosquitoes in foreign countries are different than domesticated mosquitoes found here. Foreign mosquitoes carry Malaria. Domesticated mosquitoes evidently wash their hands.

- Pills for Malaria are an additional $187. You can get the cheap pills for $100ish. But the cheap ones give you nightmares. Having nightmares as a side effect is among the most random of side effects I've been informed of today.

- I have a new set of compassions for the Yahoos from their vaccination days. That Hepatitis shot hurts for hours. Still hurts now! When will it go away? Ah, the ache! And I gotta get another in four weeks.

- I received two Hepatitis shots today. Hard to say which one hurts the most.

- When traveling abroad, it is highly recommended that travelers get the H1N1 and the seasonal flu vaccines. Good luck finding either of those necessary abroad traveling medicines.

And finally...

- We are going to die in India.
(You can thank the Happy Helpers at the Health Department for this assurance.)

7 comments:

Jessica said...

I'm so excited you get to eat something with poop on it.

Also, my dad has been to India many times. He hates it, but he hasn't died once! There is still hope.

The MacMizzles said...

Poop! As a topping instead of a side dish! Who knew? This will be the most exciting trip ever!

All this time I thought I was just going to hear about your trips to the loo to take a poop! Now I get to know just how tasty fecal matter is in INDIA! Awesome.

Winder said...

Well, we could just make you a poop sandwich right here in the U.S.A. I have plenty of messy diapers you could pick your flavor. Or just tell me what you want and I will feed it to the baby the day before. Marinara sauce is alway potent the next day.

Umm... did I take that too far?

Lars said...

Mi padre lived in Venezuela for several years and took the Malaria meds religiously, never had the nightmares. Hopefully you luck out and get to go sans side effects as well. Huzzah to your adventure abroad. Slash I thought of you today while listening to Weezer's new album and there being a sitar used on one of the songs: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rD_53jRElEY

Not sure if this is the type of Indian music you like, I dig the sitar and the throat singers.

Brandon and Julie said...

Sorry to hear about your untimely death. My condolences.

Sparks said...

This is the part where I confess to you that in all our dinner makings I served you something with poop on it.

I didn't consume myself, but I figured that a little crap donation was okay for you.

Sparks said...

Yikes, just read Winder's comment.

She sure does have a flair for nuking the line, doesn't she?