I have some big decisions to make.
Strangely enough, all these big decisions have the deadline of October 31. Which is Halloween. Halloween is second to April Fools Day on the Rabidrunner Recreation Richter Register (seven point Oh! to be exact). There won't be any responsibility on Halloween. And most certainly there won't be any decision makin' either.
This means the decisions must be made by October 30.
Big Decision #1: Should I register the car or buy a new one.
This is a tuff one. I want a new car. It might be time for a new car. The Dyke Mobile is turning into a rattle trap. Still runs like a champ, but has developed noise. Sometimes I can cover up this noise by boosting the volume voltage on the tunes. As of late, however, the volume voltage fails to mask the vibrations. (They're rattles, really. But vibration doesn't sound so, you know... rattley.) There's also this screeeech! when I start it up. Sounds like the slaughter of sixteen Sasquatches. (Now you know that Sasquatches don't die quietly.)
Other factors involved: It will be 90 bucks to register the car. Roughly 25,000 to replace it. I'm a don't-fix-it-if-ain't-broke kinda person, so I intend to buy the same car, same color - only 12 (or 13 or 14) years newer. Boring, right?
Another factor? They've changed the transmission so as to increase fuel economy. This is good and bad. Good because more mileage with the same fuel is always a plus. It's bad because it's a new tranny. (I love that word Tranny. You should know I'm doing this post only so that I can use the word Tranny.) A New tranny (oops! there's that word again) means it ain't tried and true. There's prolly bugs in those new trannies. EWE!
Tranny Bugs are nasty.
The final factor in this Big Decision #1 is the new car will need a name. I don't know if I'm up for that. "Scooby Rue," perhaps? Will ponder.
Decision #2: Should I buy a Midweek Season Pass at Sundance.
Another tuffy! See here's the deal. Powder is righteous. The Yahoos are in school. Do you see the connection? When it dumps, I am free to partake. As in POW!
So I hear you saying, Why Sundance (Scumdance)? Let me tell you why Sundance. First and foremost, Daddy works for Park City (Park Schitty) - we're hooked up at Park City (even after Spouse Crushed his Calcaneuses there). Park City is far away. One hour minimum - and midweek morning traffic stinks. Sundance is 36ish minutes away. I can drop the Yahoos off at school, burn up the Canyon de Provo and make many turns.
So I hear you saying, Why Not Alta (Shmalta)? Or Snowbird (Snowturd)? Or Brighton (Frighten)? Let me tell you why not Alta or Snowbird or Brighton or even Solitude (Solid Turd). First and foremost, The Canyon. I've been in line for that canyon to open one time too many. It's painful. Itchin' to ski and you can't even drive up the road. I only have a few precious school-time hours to burn - I just don't have time to wait for a dumb canyon to open for measly avalanche control.
Another reason for not choosing the above? Every Powder Hound in the state heads to Snowbird or Alta after a dump. CROWDED. And the arrogance of the Powder Hound crowd is intimidating. They just swallow me up whole with their knee dropping.
(Knee droppers. Bah again! They're like cyclists who ride a single speed! Double Bah!)
Another bad thing about the above? The runs at those Powder Hound Resorts are all tracked up in 30ish minutes flat. I've made first tracks at Scumdance around 2:00pm, in the afternoon.
Now that I've established that it will be Sundance, I need to decide if. It's only $225 but goes up a bunch after October 31. Did I mention that my Midweek pass would include the Nordic Center (whereby I can cross country ski with Spouse?) No? I didn't mention that? It does. Fer reals.
Unbelievable. All those words and I've only covered two of my Big Decisions.
Big Decision #3: Should I get a MePhone.
My cell phone service ends on October 31. I need to sign up for something new. Should it be a mePhone? I know you will all says yes (for we have already discussed this.) But do I need a stinkin' mePhone? I mean, is it really worth the cash each month? It ain't the phone I'm worried about, its the service agreement.
Big Decision #4: Should we sign the Yahoos up for Mountain School
This is a big commitment. That's 10 Saturdays of committed skiing. Not a big deal for us. Downright great for us, in fact. The Yahoos will be babysat and taught to ski. This is a big deal for the Yahoos, however. I mean, no friends ('cept the ones their ski group), no games ('cept the ones they play on the mountain), no electronic toys ('cept the ski lift).
If we do the Mountain School, running a spring marathon will either not happen or be a bust. This vital piece of info must go into the equation.
Big Decision #4 carries the most weight. It's pricey. The Yahoos won't appreciate it. They will whine. Will I be able to handle all of that? Take in all in stride? With big breaths? (Hah! You read that as Big Breasts, didn't you?)
Big Decision #5: Speaking of Big Breasts, should I get the implants?
Kidding. No implants here. I prefer my plants out of my person. Sorry to let you down.