As mentioned earlier, the Rabid has been beaten to a pulp by the egg beater peddles. Did the peddles actually beat me? No. But they locked me in for good so as the rocks in Alpine could.
I test software. I do so part-time. I used to test software full-time. In fact, I used to test Spouse's software (that's how we met, romantic eh? Me telling him what he's doing wrong?) I test his hardware now.
Do you know what makes a good tester? ISOLATION. As in... find the precise location of problem by removing variables.
Step One: Define your problem.
I cannot get out of my Candy SL egg beater peddles. If I concentrate real hard and can anticipate a stop that allows, say, 5 seconds, I can get out of said peddles. Emergency pull-outs are a bust. And isn't it great these Candy SLs don't have testicles? Someone might get knocked-up.
Step Two: Define variables.
1) Bike. Newish. Fine piece of gear. Red. And named Jules.
2) Peddles. New fer sure. Expensive. Recommended by bike shop. Even when I said, "Just beginning."
3) Me. Newish to biking. Good balance (not great). Best shape of my life. Has a motorcycle endorsement on driver's license.
Step Three: Isolate variables.
1) Bike. Works fine with standard peddles. Emergency pull-outs are fine. Bike can be eliminated.
2) Peddles. Girl on trail mentioned she hates my peddles. Had them for one ride and got-thee-rid of them. Peddles are installed in beginner fashion, with 15 degree release (as opposed to 20). Shoes have shim to help. Peddles have 6 degree float - meaning they wiggle 6 degrees while locked in. Source at MTBR.COM says: "I have been using for 3 weeks and I still keep falling every time I do an emergency stop. The worst thing is I'm on the ground fighting to get up and they still WON'T come off." This echos my sentiments. (Thanks to Brian for the research.)
3) Me. Rabid Beater Peddles might be the problem, but the me variable still exists. In order to isolate peddles as the potential botheration, someone else must use them. This someone else must be an experienced rider who has mastered the emergency pull-out. This someone else is Spouse. Spouse must use the Rabid Beaters to see if this malfunction belongs to The Egg Beater Peddles (Crank Brothers Candy SL) or the Rider (Rabidrunner).
And so Spouse installed my peddles on his bike. Rode up the street and back. "Spooky," said he. Spouse wants them off!
And so Spouse installed his peddles (and cleat) onto my bike (and shoes). I rode up the street and became instantly pissed. There is no comparison.
Spouse's Peddles: You think twist. The foot twists. The foot is free.
Rabid Beaters: You think twist. You twist. You wiggle a bit and you think foot is free. It's not! Crash. You get on the bike and you try it again. Until bloody with determination.
Therefore, using my Scientific Testing Procedures, I declare:
Peddle Perplexity belongs to the Crank Brothers Candy SL, not the Rabid.
Now I gotta figure out how to get my money back.