Friday, September 04, 2009

Bowl Cut

Spouse and I just finished Gangs Of New York. It's an uplifting flick, one that will leave you feeling all rosy inside. (Note that I'm kidding here - just in case you didn't catch my dry-as-paprika sense of humor.)

Also note that I don't frequent movies with "R" ratings. I do, however, make excuses (or justifications - whatever) for "R" movies that include A) Something Historical, B) Great Costumes or C) Collin Firth.

You can see that Gangs of New York hit the jackpot in my "R" rated rationalization by having both Something Historical AND Great Costumes. And instead of Collin Firth, they've got Daniel Day Lewis, which is a close second to Collin Firth. We all know Collin Firth didn't get the job as Bill the Butcher because, well frankly, he just ain't scary enough.

Can you see Collin? In a top hat and striped pants? Using fierce language and coercing the plebeians with do-it-or-I'll-chop-off-your-finger threats? Wouldn't fly. Collin should stick to the Jane Austen flicks. Poor guy. Typecast as a romantic schmuck.

So here's how the Rabidrunner watches the "R" shows. She puts the kiddies to bed, winds up the ol' movie playing unit (the DVR on the Dish's Receiver in this case) and watches a bit before bed time. (It's a good movie if she stays awake through the duration of that "bit." And it usually takes at least two nights to get through each filthy flick. So conclude here, dear reader, that "bit" is not an entire movie.) To avoid inappropriate brain stamps, she fast forwards through the sex and covers her eyes when the characters stab each other. Sometimes she covers the ears too. Because stabbing sounds can be quite graphic.

There are several underlying themes in this Gangs of New York Film (all of which are mostly true): Irish Immigration, Political Corruption, Slavery, The Civil War, Racism, Territorial Disputes, Rich Folks Dodging the Draft and last but not least, How to Control People With Fear.

Yes folks. You can control people with fear. If people are afraid of what you might do to them, they will succumb to your intimidation and do exactly and precisely what you want. (They'll also call you sir too. Bonus!)

I want in on that action.

So as Bill The Butcher (for Bill really was a butcher - had a butcher shop where he sold various cuts of meat) is explaining to Leonard O'Caprio (Leo is Irish in this movie, not Eye-Talian, so he should have an "O" instead of a "Di")... as Bill The Butcher is explaining his fear-impelling methods of control to Leonard O'Caprio, by unraveling his use of public hangings and finger removals and public brutality, I was thinking about how I could use this fear thing to control people.

Then I remembered My Bowl.
(My bowl is a metaphorical place where I list my many extracurriculars, each on it's own piece of paper. The idea is that I'll reach in and pull something out when I become bogged down and overwhelmed).

I also remembered a certain comment The Winder made on this Bowl Post about not wanting her name put in that bowl. The Winder didn't want the cut. Or even the chance that she'd get the cut.

Ah hah! Light bulb! Can you say: Bill the Butcher meets The Bowl?

Consider this your warning. Do what I want or I'll put you in the bowl.
Give you The Bowl Cut.

-

4 comments:

Winder said...

Your wish is my command. (Unless you push me too far, at which point I will throw myself in the bowl!)

meg said...

I have never been more in love with you than I am right now.

If this wasn't a stroke of raving genius, I have lost all power to recognize it.

Anonymous said...

"Yes folks. You can control people with fear." hmmmmm, can you say, "bush/cheney neocon crowd"?

Brian said...

Is the red bike in the bowl? (please say no, please say no...)