Tuesday, August 11, 2009

What is the Absolute Worse Day?

Every once in a while, I have a day that warrants a certain phone call to Spouse. This certain phone call is the one reminding him that he needs a vasectomy.

Yesterday was one of those "You need a vasectomy" phone call days.

It wasn't an unusually hard day. It began with the fight over wearing clothes (as opposed to pissed-in jammies), brushing the teeth (as opposed to not), combing the hair (as opposed to not) and making the bed (as opposed to not).

Then there was the fight over practicing the piano. Which begins with scrunched eyebrows, stomping feet and mumbles that include the word "hate." Due to mumbles and complaining, the actual practice session takes 2 point 5 times longer than the necessary half hour.

All of the above includes relentless reminders and foam-at-the-mouth nagging. Have you done...? What are you working on...? Did you wash your hands...? Put your dishes away... What do you need to be doing....? Leave the dog alone and do your chores... Put your toys down... No friends until your work is done. Nag. Nag. Nag.

Finally, the work was done and the friends came. It was all fun and games until the arrival of the bickering and fighting, cookie crumbs, spilled milk, otter pops on the car, otter pops on the kitchen floor, sticky everywhere and an empty can of whipped cream. This was more than poor little rabid me could handle. "Okay, time for everyone to go home," I said.

I was relieved. Until we discovered that Yahoo #3 (also known as the Pound Hound), had chewed through poor T's shoes (T is Yahoo #1's friend) - in the which I barked at Yahoo #1 for not taking care of his friends' belongings. (You should note that the beloved Pound Hound has munched many a shoe, watch, pillow and pinewood derby car - it's business as usual to put things out of the Yahoo #3's reach.)

Yahoo #1 escaped to safe ground in extreme agony. I found him sobbing uncontrollably about how he "always messes things up."

Great.

I guess I can kiss that Mother-of-the-Year nomination good bye. The kids don't do what I ask and I don't discipline well. The Yahoos are unhappy and suffer from low self esteem.

Great.

After 6 more hours of the above, I was finally in bed. And as I sat there stewing over my dreadfully "bad" day, I thought "You know, tender Rabid, there are many out there who are having worse 'bad' days than you."

For example, I know of someone who had a funeral for his wife. Another friend has a broken femur and needs surgery. And as bad as their days might be, I'm sure somebody, somewhere is having yet a worse day than they are.

Makes me wonder what the absolute worse day is.

Then I think about how it's all relative and then I pretend to understand Einstein's Theory of Relativity and my mind turns to mush and I feel relief over how much better today is.

-

8 comments:

Staci said...

The really strange thing is that the things that you think would make you have a bad day like losing your job, breaking a leg, etc don't always translate into bad days. But when I don't run, have a messy house and hungry, tired kids . . . it turns into a bad day. Again, relative.

I remember when I was growing up, if you forgot to clear your dishes it was screaming. If you broke a Ming Dynasty vase it was, "Oh, these things happen." You know? Although, that is only an example as my parents do not really own historical artifacts.

Everyday things make a bad day somehow. I don't understand it completely. Maybe it has to do with our psychological ability to cope with disaster.

Buddy the Elf said...

Dear Rabid- this can only mean one thing. (actually three)
1- You are human.
2- You may have to fight me for spot number 29,347,585 in the mother of the year contest this year.
3- It is time for school to start.

rookie cookie said...

Days like that are the pits. It's when I take the dirty beasts to the park and then we come home and I put them to bed without bathes. And then when their daddy gets home, I pull out my jar of Nutella and go to a movie all alone.

Mandee said...

Funny and appropriate you should write this... timely post.

After reading the first 3 lines, I sent the link to Aaron. I'm just glad to know I am not the only one.

I asked Aaron the other day- do you think there are any kids out there who don't touch stuff- kids that just leave things alone?

And then yesterday I found a box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a jar of honey in their room. Seriously, what the hell is going on in my house. And they were banished to their rooms ALL DAY.

How they smuggled it, I have no idea. But it gave me the motivation to leave the house and go to the gym. So I gues I should be greatful for that.

LaurieJ said...

Every Sunday night the vasectomy is scheduled for Monday morning- whether or not we have an official Dr.'s appt.

Loved this post and it is ALL relative!

The MacMizzles said...

My absolute worst day would be something happening to my children.

The MacMizzles said...

PS. I have dreams about the V. However, I wish it was a more painful surgery at times. :)

Julia said...

I really have nothing intelligent to say except motherhood is rough sometimes, okay MOST of the time. Hang in there--summer is almost over.