Wednesday, July 08, 2009

4th of July Sacrilege

The 4th of July is a great holiday. It's a time for reflection. A time to remember freedom and all who fought for it. It's also a time to commemorate those who currently defend our freedom.

Each year we explain to the Yahoos, in burgeoning language, how the Revolution was about freeing our founding fathers and their posterity from the tyranny of Taxation Without Representation. (We also explain how we're on our way back there... 'cause we're sugary-sweet-stab-'em-with-reality kind of parents.)

The best part of the 4th of July is not the crowded parade, the fun-run or the fireworks. It's not even the barbeques and watermelon. The best, most entertaining, most thrilling, most fulfilling element of The Fourth is the Tour de France.

We celebrate The Fourth by watching the Tour de France. I know. know. It's Sacrilege. Blasphemy. Heresy. Impiety.

Irregardless of my unpatriotic behavior, this year's Tour has many surprises. That clever and conniving Johan Bruyneel has stacked Team Astana with Alberto Contador, Levi Leipheimer, Andreas Kloden, Yaroslav Popovych and that poster child for narcissism, Lance Armstrong. The GC (General Classification) contender for team Astana is still undecided. It's a toss-up between Contador and Armstrong. Both are strong and worthy of that Yellow Jersey in Paris. But again, that cunning Bruyneel won't say who is the team captain. It could also be Leipheimer (who took 3rd in 2007) or Kloden (24th place in 2007) or even Popovych (White Jersey in 2005)!

That team is stacked. Someone from that team will win.

Will Bruyneel let Armstrong and Contador battle it out within the team? Is it another one of his secret weapons... to not tell the press his intentions for the overall winner?

It's a good thing that team isn't full of women. Can you image the drama? The cat fights? I wanna be the GC contender! NO! She's too old and 'sides, she's already won, like, 7 times... IT'S MY TURN TO WIN THE TOUR DE FRANCE THIS YEAR!

Yeah. That kind of Drama.

Another great part of the Tour? The dresses for le Models de Podium. Fantastic! Check out the Polka Dot Jersey dresses for this year:

This isn't the last you'll hear of the Tour. Thanks to that lovely bike race across France, the month of July is the most wonderful time of the year! HOWEVER, as reported previously, the end of le Tour brings with it the doom of P.T.D.F.D. or Post Tour de France Depression.

I will need hugs, kisses and well wishes on July the 27th. You could also take me to lunch or send me music through iTunes.


Becca said...

I thought of you when I saw the first tour update--I can just picture you with a new found spring in your step! Let's play this week.

meg said...

It's very patriotic. We just couldn't have won the Revolutionary War without the Frogs.

Lisa said...

I vote we do lunch!