Monday, June 29, 2009

Wasatch Crack Relay: Post 5 of Many

What The Fox!

As mentioned in Post 3 of the Wasatch Crack Chronicles, the Crack-o-Dawner's were waiting. And it was late. And we were anxious. The faster and more competitive members of the Cracker Clan were housed in Van 1. The monkeys in Van 2 (that's me, us, whatever) were in it for the giggles. Which is great unless you have a... uh... uh-hum... title to defend.

Last year, we Crack-o-Dawners entered ourselves in the sub masters coed division. This means 6 women, 6 men, all over thirty. Last year, the Crack-o-Dawners won the division. This was by a narrow margin - for we were nearly out-foxed by a team called What The Fox! This year, the Crack-0-Dawners entered ourselves in that same sub masters coed division.

And so it was, in the metropolis of Liberty, Utah (did I mention we were waiting?) when who should turn the corner and park across the street? Van 2 of team What The Fox! They were back. They were looking fierce. They were looking fast. And they hadn't even exited their vehicle yet!

The Foxes opened the doors of their van and stepped out one at a time. No lie, it was like a slow-mo scene out of The Terminator (but only the good Terminator where Arnold's the good guy). Those Foxes were still looking fierce. They were still looking fast. And one of them was sporting a giant high level video camera - equipped with football-field spotlight, mango-sized microphone and L-series lens. At this point I forgot about whether or not they were fast...for I had lens envy. Who cares if I don't shoot a video camera? Those Foxes had a movie maker with a red-ringed bazooka!

There's a few things you should know about the Foxes - all of which I've discovered and/or cued just by watching. They are organized - with coordinating warm-up suits, singlets and professionally printed decals. Their colors are orange and black, they wear orange fox tails and distribute magnetized fox tails among random vans in the Wasatch Pack. Each of the What The Fox! vans is cleverly decorated with foxy accouterments. This Wasatch Back stuff is a big event for them and they take it seriously.


(Cute, isn't she? Downright Foxy if I don't say so so myself.)


That's right, those What The Foxes! take the Wasatch Back seriously - not like the Cracker Jack Gigglers in Van 2 - who showed up in mismatched outfits and a cheaply painted rising rump on the window for decoration. (Thanks Brian for the Cracker Jack reference! Thanks Megan for the Rising Rump addition!)

This is when Hillene started it. She took one look at those distinguished, polished and gentile Foxes and screamed "WHAT THE FOX!!!!!"

As the Crackers in Van 1 were finishing their first legs of the race, our Runner 6 - TrailTrekker - ran in to pass off the bracelet thingee to our Runner 7. Before I continue the story, you should know that TailTrekker is tough - and not in the typical running girl tough (which is pretty tough). She has finished two 50 mile races in the last few months. One of those 50-milers was two weeks before the Wasatch Back where she won the Master's division. She's tough. Scary tough. A don't-want-to-meet-in-a-dark-alley tough.

After TrailTrekker finished her first running leg, she wandered over to the gigglers of Van 2 to report: "The Foxes are on us."

"WHAT THE FOX!!!" Hillene screamed. And giggled hysterically. (Don't tell Crack-o-Van 1, but we're in it more for that Qumbayah Camaraderie Crap than the measly baton they give you when you win your division.)

Why Hillene's intense interest in What The Fox!? Great question! You see... we're Mormon. Mo for short. It ain't exactly appropriate for us to curse. So any time Hillene gets the chance to sound like she's cursing without actually cursing, she takes advantage. Ask her some time to pronounce hilarious (it's hilarie-ASS).

And so it was at exchange 6 that Hillene yelled "WHAT THE FOX!!!" (and we all laughed). She screamed it again (and we all laughed again) at exchange 7 and at exchange 8 and at exchange 9... and all the way to the finish. Hillene didn't stop saying "WHAT THE FOX!!!" (and we didn't stop laughing) for prolly 16 hours.

Those poor Foxes.

You can imagine my precipitance, when a random comment showed up on one of my posts. It was from Brian - of team What The Fox! (who evidently knows how to use Google.)

Brian revealed his full name. Not only is Brian quick-paced, he plays bass in a Los Angeles band called 1RKO (First Round Knock Out). 1RKO has recorded a surprisingly innovative cover of Sweet's Fox On The Run. (Let's give a rooty-toot-toot for rabidrunner research!)

Fox On the Run... fitting isn't it?

The rabidrunner has purchased her copy from iTunes. (And so can you!)


Anonymous said...

You sandbagger! I'm interested to hear how Van 2 "the party van" pulls off the tougher leg when the "more competitive group" is in Van 1 with the easier leg!?? What's up with that? This is good....this is good..... All I can say is someone is sandbagging! :)

Tami the Trotter

Anonymous said...

Wow rabidrunner...what a great fox tale! I'm sure the other foxes will enjoy your writings & photos...and I'm sure the other First Round Knockout guys will appreciate the plug and the download (but not sure about the running part as the worlds of rock 'n roll & running generally don't mix too well together)!


rabidrunner said...

Okay, so Tami has set it straight. We, in Van2 figured that the easier legs were in Van1 but cannot know for sure (unless we were two do both Van1 and Van2 legs to compare). Being as I've been in Van 2 for all of my WBR experience, I cannot know for sure.

I will let you in on a little secret, however. We had a 2:50 marathoner (Crystal Meth) and a girl who can run downhil FAST (Downhill Diva). (Neither of which was me...and aren't we just lame with the nicknames? It's our super hero identity.)

Incidentally, must admit that I was surprised at Brian's running and rock 'n roll mashup. The first I know.

rabidrunner said...

I have images of Brian saying, "Can't stay out late guys. Gotta long run in the morning."

Anonymous said...

I have been a "driver" for both and my assertion is that the first leg of ragnar would be best for "the giggler van." So who was the mastermind behind the division? My guess is that "the gigglers" are the better runners! And you know it-you're just being humble! Who filled "the competitive" van besides the trailtrek person? From Brian's comment about the serious driver who wouldn't "crack" a smile... I have to laugh. Van 1 must be intense but did they even giggle?
-Tami the driver

The MacMizzles said...

I shall live vicariously through these posts...and through you!!! What a blast.