Friday, May 08, 2009

I Find Myself...

May 8, 2009

I was watching a news show the other day. As usual the reporters were discussing a controversial topic - one in which they have an agenda to push but work really hard to appear objective. What was this controversial topic? Don't remember. The news station? Don't remember that either. What were they wearing? Didn't notice.

I do, however, remember an interview with some lady via satellite. It was an awkward interview - one where precious TV seconds lapse as the questions and answers go back and forth. The woman was asked for her opinion on the controversial subject (that I've since forgotten) when she replied with, “Blah blah blah – klutzy pause – blah blah blah for women like myself who find themselves pregnant.

What the? FIND yourself pregnant?

Did she wake up the other day, green with nausea and scream “I find myself pregnant! I lost myself for a while but when I found me again there's a baby growing in there. How did this happen to me?!“

At first, I thought, “You idiot. Anytime you FIND yourself with a whats-it in your whoo-hoo, there's a possibility you'll FIND yourself pregnant.” But then I thought, “You genius. FINDing yourself in a situation is the perfect loophole for dodging personal responsibility."

I find myself a drunk who cannot hold a job. I find myself the mother of two who wants to run away because I find that my kids cannot FIND their shoes. I find myself with $30,000 of credit card debt. I find myself with a messy house. I find myself married to an abusive dickhead (not Spouse – jimmy). I find myself naked in a hot tub fool of monkeys. I find myself uneducated. I find myself 400 lbs. I find myself typing this trash while Yahoo #2, still in the PJs, finds that cartoons will turn his mind to mush.

You don't get to find yourself.

You make decisions. Every day. And
where you are, right now, at this very intense or peaceful moment, is a result of all those decisions.

Think of what you'll find in the future.


Winder said...

I'd like to find myself pregnant! That would be great; no hormone inducing pills, no expensive doctor visits, no urinating on a stick daily...

Or better yet I'd like to find myself married to my same husband only he's rich. Alas, those type of things you don't find yourself in you have to do something about it.

Markelle said...

don't mean to be creepy but I loved your post...LOVE! The lack of responsibility people possess and the subtle twist of words such as "I find" astounds me.

Thank you, this post made my day...

Ryan said...

i was intrigued how a category called "life" could have just the one, solitary entry, so checked it out. sure enough, you pretty much summed up life. why muck it up?

the post reminded me of a book i quite enjoyed, called Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me). i'm in continual amazement/dismay at the mis-takes, mis-remembering, mis-perceptions, mis-you-name-it that our "trusty" brains are capable of.

rabidrunner said...

This post having the label of "life", was a complete accident. Yesterday I was cleaning up the labels - I was trying to condense and come up with a system. This post had the label of "previously life" which was supposed to be "previous life". I guess I had gone in and removed the "previously" from the label was left with just "life" instead of "previous life."

It was a complete accident. But I think I'll keep it... fer now.

Celeste said...

I'm spending this lovely sabbath evening back-stalking you. I'll admit it. And this post is probably on of the best I've read. Ever. Can we send it to comrade Obama?