Monday, May 11, 2009

Carbo Diem

May 11, 2009

(Special note to Megan: This post talks about meat. Copious amounts of meat. If you don't want to read about meat, I suggest you skip me this time. No hard feelings.)

3 hard-boiled eggs
1 Kellogg's Protein water
2 handfuls of almonds in the buff
10 slices of over-processed and over-salted turkey breast with a spreading of cream cheese and a sprinkle of green onion
Another handful of almonds in the buff
2 small dishes of sugar-free jell-o (complete with bluhhck after taste)
2.5 bratwursts, smeared in classic yellow, then a spoonful of more classic yellow, sucked through a straw
1/2 a can of green beans
Another Kellogg's Protein water

This is what I ate today. Well-balanced, wholesome and tasty? Hardly. Tomorrow's menu will be more of the same. Maybe I'll change it up a bit with some salmon and a chicken breast. Wednesday will be a protein smorgASSbord too. Prolly some steak. Petite Sirloin with pepper.

Why all the protein and no carbs? It's this silly thing I do before a marathon. Deplete the carbohydrate stores by eating mostly protein for a few days, then load up on the taters and rice. The theory (emphASSis on theory) is that once you deplete your carbohydrate stores, the body will panic and store more than normal when you start eating carbs again.

Have I done it before? Yes - 12 times now. Does it work? Sure (unless you talk to Spouse). How does it work? Great question! You always have the best questions, don't you?

Ready for my hair-brained theories?

Theori-atrical reason it works #1: It's all in the head. You think it works, therefore it does. I believe the medical people call this a placebo.

Theori-atrical reason it works #2: It's hard as hell. Makes you weak. Makes you tired. Makes you ornery. Makes the marathon seam like a piece of cake in comparison. Oh... cake? I... want... cake...!

Theori-atrical reason it works #3: No carbs? No energy. No energy? You sit around a lot and rest. The more you rest before a marathon, the better you feel.

Theori-atrical reason it works #4: It keeps the weight off when you start loading carbs for the race. In theory, you drop a few lbs eating greasy brats then gain it all back when you start eating. Makes it a wash. Without the carb depletion, you might start the race with extra weight. Extra weight on race day is never good.

That's why I don't wear make-up.


meg said...

I wanna know how many calories that was.

Marathon runners are so cool.

And gross.

And I love the placebo effect.

And I certainly don't care if others let meat-juice drip off their chins, just don't ask me to lick it off or anything.

Staci said...

I hate carb-depletion. I get all jittery. Definitely one and four. Firmly believe number four because you're also not running.

Ski Bike Junkie said...

Wanna know what gives me placebo effect? Knowing that carb depletion doesn't work, so there's no point in trying.

That said, carb depletion as a weight loss technique works. Quite well in fact. If you don't mind not pooping on a daily basis.

rabidrunner said...

Some of us already have that "not pooping on a daily basis" problem!

Ski Bike Junkie said...

Audible. I'd call you for a TMI foul on that one, but I totally brought it on myself.

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