Friday, February 27, 2009

Boogers

February 27, 2009

I cleaned the shower today. Big news, I know. Hold onto your horse named Harriet.

As I cleaned this shower, I discovered many splatters of nostril discharge - all in various forms of density, color and crystallization. That's right, I discovered boogers. Lots of them. They were here - there - EVERYWHERE!

The first thing I did was blame spouse. 'Cause that's what you do when you're married.

Then I decided to take ownership. Taking ownership is my new thing.

After careful and scrutinizing inspection of all the boogers, one (me being the "one") can conclude that a booger doesn't reveal it's owner. A booger doesn't have a name or imprint or even a color that symbolizes who it belongs to.

The only time a booger exposes its owner is when it's dripping down a face after an explosive sneeze or smeared on a shirt sleeve. If I wanted to point a nose-pickin' finger at the creator of those boogers in my shower, I needed DNA sampling.

We all know DNA won't distinguish who's boogers are who's 'cause Spouse and I are married. Naturally we have the same DNA.

Naturally.



(Just between you and me... the shower is my favorite place to blow my nose. It's magically liberating to just blow and let it flow.)

3 comments:

meg said...

How happy does it make you that as I was reading this I had just picked up a glass of soymilk to drink and started gagging as I read through your revelation?

I thought so.

Winder said...

I agree with you. There is nothing like a good "Snot Rocket" in the shower. That is where I practice, that way if I don't launch well enough I can just rinse off.

Doggie B said...

Blogs are all about over-sharing. Good job! :)