Sunday, February 01, 2009

Amish Chain Letter

February 1, 2009

I guess the Amish feel it necessary to pass sourdough starts with their chain letters. This is alright because the finished product is pretty good. If you don't know what I mean, I'll give you a brief sin-opsis.

You get a plastic bag full of rotten milk, flour and sugar. You fondle the bag a few times a day for 5 days. On the 5th day you add milk, flour and sugar. Continue the fondling for 5 more days. After those 10 days are up, you add more milk, flour and sugar and split it up. You give half of the rotten concoction to 3-4 friends and they repeat the 10-day fondle-fest. Think of the perpetual possibilities of this one. It could make it to Mongolia, Bill Gates might send you a dollar and we'll have World Peace!

(By the way, did you notice the artistic alliteration in that paragraph? Oh how I have ardor for alliterations.)

With the remaining 1/2 of the start you make bread. Actually it's more like cake. But for some reason those Anti-Automation Pennsylvania-People want to call it bread.

I have a bone to pick with this whole "Amish" theory however. The clue is in the recipe. See if you can find it:

Amish Friendship Bread
Amish Friendship Fondle-Fest Rotten Starter
1 cup oil
1 cup sugar
2 cups flour
1/2 cup milk
3 eggs
1 tsp vanilla
1/2 tsp baking soda
1 1/2 tsp baking powdah
1/2 tsp salt
2 tsp cinnamon
1 large box (5 oz) instant vanilla pudding

I believe I've made it easy for you to guess why my undies are in an uproar over this one.
WHERE THE CRAP TO THE AMISH GET INSTANT VANILLA PUDDING?

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