Friday, July 25, 2008

Dead Milkmen

Today's Friday Flashback is brought to you by rotten milk - because a dead milkman has got to smell similar.

The Dead Milkmen are a Philidelphia based, cynically silly punk band that began in 1983. Their songs were never serious and they always used the same three chords. Members of the band include: Joe Genero (aka Joe Jack Talcum) on vocals and guitar, Dave Schulthise (aka Dave Blood) on bass, Dean Sabatino (aka Dean Clean) on drums , and Rodney Linderman (aka Rodney Anonymous) on vocals and synthisizers.

Do punk bands ever use their own names? Is that written in the "Punk Band Rule Book"? Thou shalt not use thy own name when playing three chords in a punk band.

The Milkmen received their big break by distributing cheap cassette tapes recorded in Joey Talcum's bedroom. Image it now... four comedic teenagers in a bedroom (complete with Olivia Newton-John pinups), banging their heads next to a cassette recorder while momma yells from below "Joey! TURN THAT CRAP DOWN!" If you listen closely, you might hear a toilet flush or the sizzling of a Philly cheesesteak.

The songs of the Dead Milkmen are loud, goofy and good clean fun (just remember that "clean" is relative and this is punk not religious rock).

Bank your head 'til it blisters... Punk Rock Girl - Bitchin' Camaro - Big Lizard in My Backyard - The Thing That Only Eats Hippies - If You Love Someone Set Them On Fire - I Walk The Thinnest Line - Smokin' Banana Peels

Friday, July 18, 2008

The Dead Kennedys

Friday July 18, 2008

Today’s Friday Flashback is brought to you by John, Bobby and John Jr… . it’s a racy one friends, so “consider yourself warned.” Today’s Friday Flashback is also brought to you by Lisa. Why Lisa? Let me tell you!

I was running down the road a bit ago and who should enter my line of travel (also running)? Lisa. She was sportin’ an iPod. So I yell as loud as possible (because I have reason to believe she wears earphones that are so loud/good they aren’t safe). “LISA! WHATCHA LISTENIN’ TOO?” To which she replies: “The Dead Kennedys. And some Dixie Chicks.”

Grinning, I thought to myself Either she’s listening to her tunes by artist alphabetically (perhaps a little Duran Duran after the Chicks?) OR her playlists are as random as a peanut butter and pickle sandwich. If it’s the latter - that girl just might be my twin lost at birth!

Should we get on with the flashback? I realize you don’t have all weekend (like I obviously do), so here goes.

The Dead Kennedys are a punk band from the 1980s who’s music and lyrics were all about sarcastic free-thinking anarchy. The DKs were anti-conservative, anti-religion, anti-record label, anti-establishment, anti-rich. Pretty much anti everything.

From the name, you’d think they were against the Kennedy clan, but the opposite was true. They fashioned themselves with an intricate liberal agenda and hated Reagan. Yes Ronnie. Does this mean the opposite of the Kennedys is the Reagans? Am I supposed to learn about politics from a punk band? Shouldn’t it be The Dead Kennedies? Have I asked enough questions?

The Dead Kennedys began their irreverent political commentary in 1978. Guitarist East Bay Ray wanted to form a punk band. (Won’t he gasp in disgust once he learns a yuppie golf course in Provo is named East Bay). East Bay Ray put an ad in a San Francisco paper and found singer Jello Biafra, bass player Klaus Fluoride, and drummer 6025. None of these names are their birth-certified given names – but I didn’t need to tell you that because you guys are smart and had that figured out already.

The DKs had a radical and malcontent view of the world and were always beating the crap out of the envelope. I mean seriously, doesn’t that defeat the whole purpose of the envelope? If you beat the crap out of it, you can’t mail anything. But then again, it seems they were against the US post anyway, so having an envelope is hardly necessary. That would be like eating vegetarian gumbo on a bear skin rug.

The Kennedys had some legal trouble after releasing a certain album. I won’t mention the album's name because the title is offensive. Even to me. Not only was the title offensive, but the album featured phallic symbols on the cover. The state of California had a problem with the artwork on the album and charged the DKs with “violating the California Penal Code, which carries a maximum penalty of up to one year in county jail and a base fine of up to $2000.” The charge went to trial and the jury was hung. Now that's funny. Get it? How about a headline for that one: Phallic symbols on album artwork violate penal code and result in hung jury.

Remember that I warned you.

After a few years of one nihilistic diatribe after another, the DKs finally called it quits. The DK fan base just wasn’t getting their political whit. Let me give you an example. In their tune Moral Majority, the Kennedys say, “Circus-tent con-men and Southern belle bunnies / Milk your emotions then they steal your money.” Which the female fan base would interpret as "It’s about when your boyfriend breaks up with you.” And the dudes? “It means beat the crap out of your best friend in a mosh pit.”

In addition to the fans “not getting’ it” the DKs began to attract a neo-nazi skinhead convoy. Evidently the free thinking individualism that inspired their music became a little too much like conformity. (What says conformity better than looking exactly like your friends?) The Kennedys disbanded in 1986 with an album called Bedtime for Democracy.

In the 1990s, the Dead Kennedy band members began to squabble over royalties and payments. Ironically, the anti-record label, anti-establishment DKs ended up suing each other for rent money (or gas money or tithing). The other irony is that they too began to see that if one wishes to earn a living (so to speak), one must follow the rules (at least some of them anyway). Bummer huh?

The Dead Kennedys experienced a recent revival of sorts when the Guitar Hero people released Holiday in Cambodia as one of the wanna be rocker tunes on Guitar Hero III. Holiday in Cambodia is a song about the corrupt Khmer Rouge regime and the “liberal elite”. The kids these days, however, think it’s a song about Angelina Jolie going to Cambodia on vacay and coming back with a mowhawked punk rocker baby.

With caution...
Holiday in Cambodia - Rawhide - Stars and Stripes of Corruption - Hyperactive Child - Police Truck

Monday, July 14, 2008

10 Reasons To Celebrate

Monday July 14, 2008

  1. Spouse is Driving. Even to work! Everyday!

  2. The Tour de France. Those punchy bikers in all of their 130 lbs have finally entered the mountains.

  3. Homemade Aprons. I have two of them. And each has a pocket for my iPod.

  4. Air Conditioning. Which makes it possible for me to bake homemade bread. Even in the summer.

  5. The Canon EF 24-70mm f/2.8L usm. I've finally got one!

  6. Spouse Peed Standing up. What's a feller to do when the handicapped stall is occupied?

  7. A Thesaurus For My Purse. You never know when you need a new word for the beefcake who just cut you off. Bought it today at the Target.

  8. Parking your own domain. or see more at

  9. Potty Trained. All of the Yahoos use the toilet now. At least most of the time. And finally, the most important of all...

  10. Spouse is Walking


Sunday, July 06, 2008

That's Me In A Glider

Monday July 7, 2008

(Not in the corner or in the spotlight again like the song says. And no, I'm not Losing My Religion over it).

Friday, July 04, 2008


Friday July 4, 2008

Today's Friday Flashback is brought to you by Uncle Sam, Red, White & Blue, hamburgers and potato salad. Today's Friday Flashback is also brought to you by the 8-track stereo and vinyl seat covers. 'Cause that's what I think of when I hear America.

Interestingly enough, America was formed in London ('bout 1972). All three original members, Gerry Beckley, Dewey Bunnell (I wonder if they called him "Buns"?) and Dan Peek had British mothers and American fathers. Their fathers were members of the US Air Force and were among the military personnel stationed at West Ruislip, London.

The America sound is comprised mostly of acoustic guitars and carries a Crosby, Stills and Nashish 3-part harmony in the vocals. (Maybe David Crosby gave his DNA earlier than we thought? Confused? Go here.) The America name was used in honor of the country all three loved but never saw enough of. They released 18 albums and many successful singles. Of those 18 albums, 7 of them were produced by a gent named George Martin. Coincidentally, Martin was the A-list producer for a band called the Beatles. Maybe you've heard of them.

I need you - Tin Man Song - Horse With No Name - You Can Do Magic - Daisy Jane - Sister Golden Hair - Ventura Highway - Muskrat Love

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Yahoo #1 Learns About My Previous Life

The Winder and I were having a conversation. The Yahoos were listening (duh!)

Me: Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah when I was married to Jimmy blah blah blah blah.

Yahoo #1 (7 years young and with a gasp): YOU were married before?

Me: Yes I was.

Yahoo #1: Did you have kids?

Me: No.

Yahoo #1: Does Dad know?!