Monday, November 03, 2008

The Consumer Cleanse

November 3, 2008

I am suffering from consumer overdose.

A while ago I purchased a shirt. I drove home excited about the purchase only to discover that I had already purchased that shirt - several weeks earlier. It was still in the bag. (This, by the way, is a to-the-point version. I didn't actually discover the bagged shirt, complete with tags and receipt, until a few days after the purchase.)

You get where I'm going with this, right?

While staring at the identical shirts, flush with embarrassment, I looked around. For the first time in a while, I actually looked around. And what did I see? Not popcorn popping, but worthless, useless, never-used crap. All over. I love the word crap (mostly because it the next best thing to it's cursing counterpart - which incidentally is my true favorite word.)

Anyway, after looking around, I was blessed with true discernment. It's time to stop buying crap.

Since my spending has become habitually toxic, I must purge the shopping toxins. I shall do this with the Official Consumer Cleanse (complete with lemon juice, a splash of maple syrup and a shake or two of cayenne.) This will not be easy. This will be more than painful. But it must be done.

I have some friends who have stopped sugar. Well not totally, they get a "cheat" day... but other than that they've stopped the sweets. They have, however, issued themselves a reward: For every week they resist the urge to splurge on cavity induced hokum, they get to wear a rubber band. Now if that isn't the huskiest of incentives, I don't know what is! They've asked me many a time to join their rubber band club. And every time I say, "No way. Sugar is Sanity."

Make fun as I may, I have now found a purpose for the rubber band club. Are you ready? Drum roll please....

I, rabidrunner, promise to and hereby swear to cease the purchase of clothing, books, magazines, jewelry, makeup, household decor, gadgets, electrical items, furniture, and Gear of any sport (that's the one that hurts) for an entire year beginning November 1, 2008. (See I'm already into it 3 days. Only 362 to go...) Above mentioned items may be purchased for Yahoos and Spouse as needed. Above items can be purchased for others as gifts. I will not get a "cheat" day.

For each week without consuming, I get a rubber band.

There are a few items that have been declared purchasable. They are: running shoes to replace others, underwear as needed, makeup when emptied, music - for music is holy and one pair of ski poles. (I need to buy ski poles since they were STOLEN from outside the ski patrol shack while the doc told us about Spouse's Crushed Calcaneuses. I said I'd stopped buying things but I'm still gonna have fun. There will be copius amounts of running, powder hounding, music and makeup this year.)

Do you think I can do it? I do. Stay tuned!

13 comments:

The McMillans said...

I have a giant list of things I have gone without...for a while I was really proud of it...that is, until our mother dragged me to Walmart to buy cleaning supplies and toilet paper. She was on to me...now, I have to clean. :(

rabidrunner said...

That Ma of our'n is sure fastidious.

Winder said...

Change We Can Believe In!

I believe Rabid, I Believe.

Winder said...

I was wondering:

What about yarn?

tom lindsey said...

What in the world does it mean to wear a rubber band? I must be missing something.

Staci said...

Holy bananas Batman! That sounds like fun. Can I join you in your quest? I have been fighting this personal "rage against the machine" for awhile. See, while I am too poor to buy crap, it gives me a nice excuse; "ooooh yes, it's intentional." Only, I might have to modify the clothing bit as I have not bought any clothes for the last year except for a few shirts from the big T and I think I am going to be due. (due, tee-hee. Get it?)

By the way, don't be embarrassed about the shirt thing--I think it is a true statement of your character that you have such consistent taste!

Staci said...

Oh yeah, and I agree with brother lindsey because if I have to wear those things on my wrist, I for sure will have no circulation in my fingers.

Kacy said...

Will you buy rubber bands? Good luck. I'm going to try it too.

The McMillans said...

Go Rabid, go rabid, it's not your birthday don't buy yourself presents. Go Rabid Go!

rabidrunner said...

The rubber bands are nothing more than a symbololic representation of accomplishment. I can't go without spending a dime on myself without something to show for it.

A year from now I just might look like Madonna did in that Like a Virgin video. Get it? I'm gonna earn my way back to consumer virginity.

The bands I've collected are loose and will most likely come from the weekly (and free) paper.

rabidrunner said...

In regards to the yarn question... I'm not sure about that. Most of my yarn productions are given away, so maybe I can buy some. I do, however, have a whole closet full of it so I could most likely go a year without buying yarn and still have some left over.

Whatever I decide will definately have reigns and hurt like a muzzle. A yarn budget, perhaps?

Julia said...

I am proud of you. I actually keep a list of things I need to buy, but never get around to thanks to having two children who hate shopping. Maybe if you get an urge to buy something, I can let you shop for me. That would be a total win/win. :)

Andrea Brown said...

Wow, I will stay tuned. I don't think I could do it.