Sunday, June 08, 2008

Great Lash? Great Stache!

Sunday June 8, 2008

Spouse and I went out (as in on a date) for the first time since "the accident" (which wasn't really an accident, because what he did was on purpose... it's what happened that became the accident.)

Anyway, when dating Spouse, I like to give myself a little spruce by powdering it up and dressing it down. One of my favorite pre-date rituals is the application of mascara.

I'm a brunette. I have long dark lashes. Mascara may or may not be necessary. When it's date night, I jam the mascara wand into the tube and wiggle it around so as to remove as much of the blacky goo as possible. Then with mouth agape and eyes open wide, I brush it on and on and on and on - to the point where I resemble a young Tammy Faye (without the cheatin' husband induced tears of course). Each time I do this, I try to see if I can get those lashes longer than the last time. They can become fantastically longanimous

Before you condemn my conceit for the fruitful foliage of my luscious lashes, you must know that these babies came with an equally endowed mustache.

8 comments:

Staci said...

On a side note . . . did you really go to Death Cab for Cutie? I really like that band.

The McMillans said...

I fear that on my dying bed, nothing of which I have done will be noted. Not the raising of my children or any other trivial day to day things. JUST the giant monster stache that has not been attended to in the nursing home.

IT will sound something like this: As Ester who has not seen me since 1985 wonders up to my casket she will gasp in disbelief at how "absolutely, peaceful and happy my upper lip, I mean body looks."

Face it, we've all seen it. Yet proof that we are indeed that of Adam's rib. OR is it ADAM'S STACHE?

Blasphemy.

Winder said...

Rabid never fear the winder is here. I will forever keep a watchful eye on the stache!

Vera said...

The moment you go to that great finish line in the sky, I will be there (with the Winder) to wax you clean!

And just for good measure, I will hand pluck that spiral of hair from Yahoo#1's back for you!

He will love that I'm sure!

BTW, tell him I can ride my bike with hand brakes!

The McMillans said...

Wait wait, I am pretty sure the Rabid with outlive us all.

She will adapt like a fish and grow gills with all that cardio she does.

The McMillans said...

oh wait, with all this new green stuff going on, we won't see the giant flood. she'll become a gazelle.

Lois said...

Do you do mascara on all your lashes or only the top ones? I used to do all my lashes but heard on TV that that practice is so 1980s.

I'm follically challenged, so no mustache for me (but also no eyebrows and very little hair on my head).

The petulant ninny said...

Great Lash? Great Stache!

I love it when you talk like that!!