There’s a Dandy Warhol tune titled We Used To Be Friends. It’s one of my favorite Dandy Tunes. I’ve known about it since it’s release in 2003. Great song. I just now realized that my fascination with the song was one of those foreshadowey-fortune-telling revelations.
Some history. I had a friend - someone who put me in a whole mess of compromising situations. All of which I allowed to roll off my shoulders into the virtual let-it-go puddle. There was a problem, however. The puddle was more of a funnel. I would let-it-go into the funnel and slowly the feelings would dribble into a nice neat pond down the street. (Have you noticed that I’m into funnel metaphors?)
One day the funnel wasn’t big enough. Or shall I say the compromising situation this time could not be contained in my limited patience (emphasis on limited - everyone knows I'm the queen of patience!) I blew. During my volcanic-overflowing-funnel-of-hurt fest, I expressed my frustration (rather harshly I must add) with her incessant need to compete. I should also note that we ran together.
So it’s been six months since the episode. She tried to bring mutual friends into the mess and I tried my darndest to keep my mouth shut about it. It’s a dumb chick fight – who wants to hear about that?
Then Episode Friend turned me into the bad guy and sent me e-mails about how badly I’d hurt her. No ownership on her part - it was all my fault. So I blocked her e-mail. I had blogging to do! Who can concentrate when someone is telling you how rotten you are?
Up to date. I went to the St George to run a half marathon this weekend. I had hopes of running my best for that day. If all went well, I’d beat my time from last year. Episode Friend happens to run the race too. Not much of a surprise being as we’re creatures of habit and this was a habitual race.
The race started off well. I felt good. I was having a good time. Around mile 6ish, Episode Friend pulls up beside me (too close for comfort), grins at me and says “Hi.” It wasn’t a friendly “Hi,” it was more of a game on “Hi.” So several things went through my mind - first of which was that she showed up today with one goal in mind – to beat me. Not beat her time from last year, but beat ME.
It’s also important to note that neither of us are or ever will be Olympic caliber athletes. There were plenty of people ahead of us and plenty of people behind us.
The two of us went back and forth for a while, around 5 miles to be exact (since when was the term "around" mean "exact"? hehehe) We had our picture taken together (me sporting a cheesy grin of course). And the whole time, I was thinking “run your own race – forget she’s there.”
At the end of that five-mile reunion, it all became painfully clear. Our friendship did not end due to the compromising situation. In my heart of hearts (I love to say that, cause what else would it be - my heart of squares or my heart of kidneys?)… anyway, in my heart of hearts I want my friends, the people I love, to do the best that they can, to be the best people they can be… especially if that is better than I myself can do or be. In the ten years I have known Episode Friend, I never once felt that from her.
I stopped and walked. She wins.