Sunday, August 12, 2007

Roller Coasters and Cheer Leaders

I am a roller coaster junkie. Until yesterday, I hadn't been on a coaster in seven long years. It was Lagoon day for Spouse's work.

It's no secret that I have never been a fan of cheer leading. If you have spent a fair amount of time with me, there's a good chance you've heard me rant (on and on) about cheer leading being a waste of money and time. When and where are you going to use your cheer leading skills after you have graduated from high school? Some may have the luck or legs to “cheer” in college and a few more may make it to the Dallas Cowboys, but let's face it, you have a better shot at owning a giraffe (see post Giraffe Money).

There are many other extra curricular activities that produce skills for use later in life. For example, if you spend your time as president of the chess club, you can always land a date with your mesmerizing tactics and finger pushing. If you're a 40 year old cheer leader, you will need a team of some type to exemplify your skills. Which brings me to wonder why chess tournaments don't have cheer leaders. Maybe it's because the short skirts are too distracting.

Now don't go off and get offended over this. As I've mentioned before, this is just my dumb opinion (see post Politicians and Beauty Queens). Until yesterday that's how I felt about cheer leading. What a momentous day that turned out to be - riding my first roller coaster in seven years and a change of heart for cheer leading!

Lagoon turned out to be a disaster. There were 18,000 people too many and between the two yahoos and Spouse, someone was snot nosed and blubbering over something. “There's sunscreen in my eyes,” “We've raised Pansies” “That ride is too scary” “I don't want to do this” “I'm thirsty” “We are NEVER coming here again” “I don't want lemonade, I want chocolate milk” “Disneyland is completely out of the question” “I want to do the cars.” Wah, wah, WAH!

After my 18th idle threat of “let's just go home,” I realized that had I been a cheer leader, I could cheer my family into euphoria long enough for me to endure the 18 hour line to ride Wicked.

It's all right!
It's okay!
I'm gonna ride it anyway!


Mandee said...

You are hilarious!

Aaron renamed Max and Charlie, "Oscar and Meyer" after our trip to Lagoon.

And I thought I was going to die on Wicked. They must get it from me.

Winder said...

You still haven't convinced me to think cheerleading will ever be worthwhile! I don't think you should rule out Disneyland for good. My dear hubby complained the entire time that the rides were too boring(with the exception of a few at California Adventure)so the yahoos might be ok. Try going in February there aren't usually long lines


I am over come with a sense of enlightenment, I am reveling in your experience and find an uncanny affinity to a theme park and raising children. The whole experience of being a parent is just like being at an amusement park! Everyone boasts of the excitement one has at the theme park, yet when you are honest about your experience, you have "lost your sense of adventure," or better yet have a "bad attitude." The long wait to meeting child or the ride is filled with nausea, discomfort, complaining, and more nausea. Once you finally meet child or experience ride, you are thrust into a downward motion and are living on adrenaline. This sustains you until the moment the fun is over, more wining, more feeding, and more nausea. You are surrounded by millions of people who must tell you how they ride the ride, "put your hands up," look at the Wasatch mountains when you are upside down, "don't feed them rice cereal in the morning," "I never let my kids sleep past 10." Meanwhile your experience feels crowded, and you know your enjoyment level would go up if you could experience them without the banter during the wait. So, in short, you are the mother supreme, if you can raise children, you can go to Disneyland...I say get cheer-leading suits with giant S's on the front and cheer on everyone else's children while your yahoos tear apart the concession stands.