Thursday, May 24, 2007

Your Inner Hunter-Gatherer


I’ve discovered that everyone has an inner hunter-gatherer. What do I mean by this? It’s simple thanks to Wikipedia. A hunter-gathering society “is one whose primary subsistence method involves the direct procurement of edible plants and animals from the wild, foraging and hunting without significant recourse to the domestication of either.” Technically, we are no longer a hunter-gatherer society, because we get our nutrients from agriculture. Yes, even if you eat meat. Because the cows, chickens etc. are agriculturized (hehehe) or raised on farms then uh-hum “taken care of” so as we can consume them.

Since we are no longer a hunter-gatherer world we are lost (by world I mean the U.S. We all know that I’ve lived in Utah County my entire life so the world might as well be the U.S., although I have been to Mexico…). Anyway, we’re lost. We ache, we yearn, we itch to hunt. Even though you might not be hunting for food, you’re hunting for something. Now… close your eyes and figure out what it is you are hunting for and go get it!

Where did the inspiration for this come from? Please allow me to explain. Spouse spent the first 35 years of his life hunting for the perfect woman. So he gathered an array of tools such as colognes, fashionable clothing, and vehicles to aid in his inquisition. Once he found the perfect woman (uh that would be me not Phyllis Diller), he needed to hunt for something else so now he hunts bears. In Alaska. While I'm left here to fend for myself and the yahoos. It’s important to note that he did not hunt animals when we were married. (Who starts hunting at 37?) By the way, he was successful on his Alaskan-Bear-Hunt-Redneck-Rendezvous. I’ve demanded a diamond-studded bear claw necklace.

If I were to nurture my inner hunter-gatherer properly, I would spend time hunting for the perfect photograph, the right pair of shoes (who am I kidding – the right 100 pair of shoes), new words and funny friends (even though I have a bunch already). I would gather music (both CD and digital), various flavors of toothpaste (you must try lemon mint), deodorant, and stretchy pants.

I don’t know that I’m nurturing my inner hunter-gatherer as I spend most of my time hunting for remotes, socks, shoes, the spongey thing to my wheat grinder – lots of crap that’s not important but somehow ends up being urgent (notice that I’ve brought forth my Franklin Covey training). I am, however, gathering toothpaste and deodorant. In fact I bought 6 different flavors of each today.


The McMillans said...

My inner gatherer is busy looking for the perfect soap. The other day I was at bath and body works when it occured to me, that perhaps the whole lotion, and hand soap situation has gone a little overboard? I mean what scent will they think of next?

arab_lover said...

My spouse (we'll call him Aladdin) is less of a hunter-gatherer and more of an acquirer-storer. How one person can inherit or acquire so much useless crap and hold on to it so hard is beyond me. I think it's more of a trophy thing. How else can you explain keeping all your old basketball shoes from high school in a box in the basement?
Myself (haven't thought of a clever enough nickname for me yet...) I am with you all the way. My innter hunter-gatherer definitely needs nurturing. I hunt most incesantly for free time to do absolutely nothing in (very hard to come by!) and also for the perfect combination of recipes for the most perfect meal ever created!!! It is my mission in life to find this combination and share it with others. Until then, I'm happy stewing through mediocre piles of soggy middle eastern food until I get it right. There's nothing like wet grape leaves with burnt rice to satisfy the hubbie's raging Middle Eastern hunger.
By the way, I have the perfect trench coat to match that bear necklace, and my hubbie's coming home in two weeks. Could I borrow it from you then? =)

rabidrunner said...

Sure thing toots! Do you want the bear rug as well? Or is that against the whole vegetarian thing?

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