Monday, May 21, 2007

The 783rd Reason Terrorism Has Wrecked My Life…

5/21/07

I have recently discovered that many of my friends have met their husbands (there’s only one Spouse you know, so we won’t call other people's significant others by marriage “spouse”). Anyway, I have recently discovered that many of my friends have greeted their husbands at the airport wearing nothing (or next to nothing) but a trench type coat. For obvious reasons, that isn’t going to fly anymore. So sorry for spouse… he’s returning from Alaska today. Does anyone have a metal detector? I could turn the house into a mini airport! I'll also need a trench coat, and stilletos with cotton balls on them, and maybe a conveyor belt of some kind, and an escalator, and a gift shop complete with silly little spoons and magnets, and a muffled intercom system, and, oh! the Dandy Warhols and...

2 comments:

The McMillans said...

I am completely boreing, or terrified of others seeing me naked, I am not sure which one. But I have never greeted my man at the airport in a trench coat. You are simply hilarious. Where would I be without your Blog?

Vera said...

A little known fact about myself…I am not only the leading authority on urination, but almost world renowned member of the trench coat gang, not to be confused with the trench coat mafia (2 more episodes until the Sopranos is over).
There is a method to the trench coat meeting-a well-planned strategy. You simply carry all the “goods” in a bag…slip into my office aka the bathroom and change into said trench coat attire. You get on the plane-fly to an exotic destination like---say --Casper, Wyoming---get off the plane and open said trench coat in the lobby. Wyoming is a great place for first timers who are terrified of others seeing them naked…cuz in Woming---they’s only lookin’ for sheep!!!
Poor Stu!!!!