Thursday, January 25, 2007

To Spank or Not to Spank….and a Black and White Pussy

January 25, 2007

So I’m watching the Today show the other day (sad to admit I know, but what’s even sadder/more embarrassing is the fact that I watch it every day and I’ve never lived outside of Utah county) anyway… watching the Today show and Meredith introduces a new hot topic. The state of California is introducing a bill that would ban spanking children who are under 3 years of age. Yes, that includes your own. I was on the couch crocheting the latest hat and became excited! Not because I have an opinion on the matter, but because I felt a blog brewing!!!! The Grin came out. The feet began to tap each other in anticipation. All I needed now was a Thesaurus! And then it got even better.

Meredith (when you’re a regular, you can address them by their first name) interviewed a woman by the name of Sally Lieber. Sally is the mastermind behind the bill. “Assemblywoman Lieber” presented many noteworthy comments. Those in quotes are actual quotes and can be viewed from:

  • The Bill has been named the “National Effective Parenting Initiative”
  • In regards to children and punishment/discipline, Assemblywoman Lieber began by saying “We wanta take a gray area and make it black and white”
  • When asked about the magic age of 3, good ole Sally said that she thought that age would be “politically feasible.”
  • Sally says that spanking is used to punish infants and toddlers “for not having language ability; for not having impulse control” and should be outlawed.
  • The initiative will be a misdemeanor which has a maximum (I must add that Sally says “maximum” in a way that pretty much proves she’s a transport from the East – but that’s totally unrelated. How strange that I’d intervene with something totally unrelated) … a misdemeanor which has a maximum punishment of one (1) year in jail and $1000 fine.
  • Sally has generously offered “Anger Management, Parenting Education, uh, uh, uh, and a number of other possibilities” instead of the above referenced punishment.

Okay. Do you think Sally has Children? Do you think Sally has ever raised Children? There’s nothing Black and White about kids. I would suggest a variant of yellow (because they are the ones that make the sun rise), or purple (if you beat them), or brown (if there’s a diaper to be changed), or orange (‘cause you gave ‘em cheetos).

I said to the Spouse, “she doesn't have kids” or something like that. (Unlike the Today show I don’t have everything videotaped and streamed on the internet, so pardon my paraphrasing. But oh! Wouldn’t THAT be scary? Maybe we should introduce a bill that would prevent THAT from happening.) Spouse said something along the lines of “how do you know?” I sprouted an opinion that went something like “anyone who hasn’t conceived of/adopted and raised/disciplined is not qualified to write a ‘National Effective Parenting Initiative.’” But I was just guessing. We still had no proof that she was without fruit.

And then it happened (here’s where the pussy plays in this whole saga). I received an e-mail from Spouse with the subject “You were right.” Ahhhhh…. The sound (or sight) of someone (especially Spouse) saying “You were right.” I opened the e-mail and within it lay a nice neat paragraph. It was an excerpt from the Sally Lieber’s biography. (You’re thinking that “the” was a typo, but oh contraire my friend). You can view this piece of history at:

Specifically, I would like to mention this:

“Sally represents the 22nd District, considered the ‘Heart of Silicon Valley,’ where she lives with her husband David. They are proud to be active in neighborhood and community activities, enjoy hiking and windsurfing and take seriously their role as pet guardians for a politically astute black-and-white cat.”

Need I mention that she has a black and white pussy cat, and no black and white kids to give merit to her black and white bill?

Okay then. Let’s get spankin’!


The News said...

You'll get the full force of Christ, don't think you won't. He was sheer weakness and humiliation when he was killed on the Cross, but oh, he's alive now--in the mighty power of God! We weren't much to look at, either, when we were humiliated among you, but when we deal with you this next time, we'll be alive in Christ, strengthened by God. Test yourselves to make sure you are solid in the faith. Don't drift along taking everything for granted. Give yourselves regular checkups.

Mandee said...

I'd like to have that woman tend my kids for 4 hours. It would only take 2 hours before she'd change her mind about her "black and white" theory, and the next 2 hours would purely be for punishment of such a STUPID idea.

rabidrunner said...

RElIGIOUS SPAM!!! That's so personal... I love it.

c jane said...

I don't normally read posts with "black and white pussy" in the title, but this was an interesting read. And furthermore "the news" here has a comment that makes the whole experience even more intriguing.

But weren't we all spanked and better for the having???