I have a big decision to make today. Big, big, BIG. So big is this decision, that it has been in the running for two straight months. I have suffered two straight months of gut-rolling, anxiety-driven angst over this particular decision's ifs, whens, and butts. I've lost sleep over this decision. I've had trouble doing all of the individual duties in my normal life.
Trouble doing my duties.
What, pray tell, is this brobdingnagian decision, that carries the weight of twelve elephants? Is it turmoil over a new job? Is it choosing to have or not have another child? Are we considering that ixnay-on-the-ildrenchay should be made permanent? By removing a few millimeters of a tube or two in Spouse or myself? Are we considering a move to a new home or city? To Colorado or beyond? Well, no. It's none of that. The decision, that must be made by midnight tonight (technically it's midnight tomorrow night, but we're on-time-is-early kind of people) is:
Should I, or should I not, run the New York City Marathon.
I'll bet you thought I was going to reveal and discuss something juicy, yes? Running the New York City Marathon is quite a juicy decision; it requires juice and produces juice. But I'm sure it lacks the drama most of you were hoping for. Sorry. I'm an open book, but not that open. Some things - like whether Spouse or myself should be removed from the gene pool - are sacred. (Not that we're thinking about that kind of business anyway - it was just an example of things that prolly shouldn't be discussed on the rabidrunner blog.)
Now back to that dang marathon. Why the trepidation? Why the introspection? Why the deliberation? Why all of these ations?
Money.
It's a dreadful drag that the evil entity we moniker "money" gets to determine our decisions. I know there are many people out there who say, "money doesn't matter." And to this I say, "Bah! Money matters. Everywhere!" Think of the last time you made a decision where money wasn't the pulsating member* atop your list of influential variables. Think. Can you remember one? I'm speaking of decisions of consequence, not decisions like which socks to wear each morning. If you are able to remember such a situation, where money wasn't the deciding factor, please do share so as I can learn. And stuff.
Let's break down that decision, shall we?
First and foremost, New York City ain't cheap. Marathon week is exponential for expenses in that Apple we call the Big One. Hotels cost much more than normal and airfare prolly does too.
Second and subsequent, blowing all that cash on a dumb race is selfish. Spouse needs a bike. He just does. He's been riding his "fast" Voodoo for years and its time for an upgrade. I should forgo my one-day, magical-marathon dream so as Spouse can cycle something fancy for four or more days in each of his weeks.
'Sides. I've been to India. And Paris. That should be enough me-me-me for a while. Yes?
Third and tertiary, we need a new couch. Or couches, whatever. Traditionally, I'm not the kind of person who will exchange fun money for furniture money (for fun is unmatched by anything else - furniture included.) But have you seen our couches? They are so bad I won't even post a picture. Traditionally, I'm not one who will exchange an ugly photo that tells a story for a pretty photo that doesn't tell a story. But have you seen our couches...? I mean, have you seen our couches!?
Fourth and final, I haven't decided who to go with or even if I have someone to go with. Spouse will go because he's 80% obligated. Even admitted so last night. I said, "I know you'll go because you're 80% obligated. But would you want to go if you weren't 80% obligated?" He said, "It's not my first choice" - which is Spouse Speak for "no." If Spouse goes, the Yahoos will go as well. You can see from First and Foremost (above) that the Big Apple times four is an Apple Orchard. Organic, of course.
Incidentally, the Yahoos want to see New York City. This is is a weighty factor to consider when deciding whether to plant that Organic Apple Orchard. They are motivated by something to do something! That in itself might be worth the cash.
On a side-note, the lovely Megan posted today! She mentioned that it's imbecile to toot your I-don't-take-money-for-advertising-on-my-blog horn. (I'm a fawning sycophant** when it comes to Megan and I do what she says. Except when we disagree - then we agree to disagree. We can be so very adult that way.) It never occurred to me, however, that someone would actually turn down cash for nonsense, let alone brag that they turned down cash for nonsense. Cash for nonsense is the best kind of cash, right?
I'm here to brag that I have never been offered any amount of trinket, cash or other such compensation for my blog. But had I been offered trinkets, cash or other such compensation, you bet your bright ass I'd take it and brag about getting it.
So, I'm a runner of mediocre positioning. I have eight followers who run. Does anyone you have a product I can pimp so as to earn my way to the New York? Better hurry, I only have 11 hours and 59 minutes.
(Speaking of my eight followers who run, note that two of them are people I actually run with. Maybe not even two! I run with over fifteen people on a regular basis! I guess that means they get enough of me on the run... duh. Here I was, about to complain about my so-called running buddies, who don't care enough about me to read the blog, when it occurred to me that they get enough of me on the run. Oh well.)
*Thanks, Winder, for the pulsating member addition.
**Megan gets credit for fawning sycophant.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Friday, March 12, 2010
Mistakes Were Made! (But Not By Me...)
The Winder lent me a book last week. She called me on the phone, told me the title, and asked if I wanted to borrow it. I said, "why sure, send it over." After receiving the book, I opened it and read the first page only to discover that I had already read that book. Recently too. I read the book and had immediately forgotten it.
For this reason, I will now do book reports. When I finish a book, I'm going to post a report here. Did you like book reports in school? I loved the book reports. I wish I could get a job doing book reports.
Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me):
Why We Justify Foolish Beliefs, Bad Decisions, and Hurtful Acts
by Carol Tavris and Elliot Aronson
First, let me tell you how I ended up reading this one. I take issue when people play the blame game. I also believe that the world lacks accountability. Think about it... how often do you hear someone say, "Oops! I screwed up"? Not very often. So one day Ryan left a comment on one of my posts suggesting that I read this Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me) book. I jumped all over that one. Especially since Amazon had it for $4.97 and I'm an Amazon Prime member and get free two-day shipping. That Amazon Prime business is kinda worth it, by the way.
(If Ryan had a blog, I'd link to it, but Ryan has no blog. He's that smart and witty blogless dude from San Diego who's little brother grew up with the Winder's husband and who found us all because of an airplane ride wherein he sat next to Megan. Weird, huh?! This planet is so very small.)
Here's what I learned from this book:
- Humans justify. They make a decision. And after they make a decision they make all sorts of other decisions that justify the first decision. You and I want to feel good about the decisions we make. If you make a decision, and you find yourself doubting that decision, your actions will generally turn to justification instead of looking at the decision for a mistake. Would you care for an example?
Let's say I go out and buy this awesome vehicle - a Porsche Cayman. The sticker price on a Cayman S is 61,500 - a smokin' deal for a Porsche. But for me and my family, the only thing dumber than buying a Cayman S would be the purchase of a Cayman Island. Buying a Cayman S would be a bad decision and a very bad mistake. Now, instead of looking at the car and proclaiming loudly that, "I totally screwed up," I would begin to justify my decision. First, I'd go around telling you that I got "a great deal on it" and that "the dealership was trying to get rid of 'em all and gave it to me for almost nothing." After I had made an effort at convincing everyone that I got a great deal on the car, I'd immediately try to get anyone, someone, everyone, to buy a Cayman too. 'Cause if all of you buy a Cayman S, then surely I made the right decision.
"Our efforts at self-justification are all designed to serve our need to feel good about what we have done, what we believe, and who we are." Page 39.
In regards to this justification stuff, people end up justifying themselves into corruption. Want an example? Politicians. They start out with the best intentions and they want to make principled decisions for our country, but slowly, like sweet molasses, those politicians just lose it. On page 37, the book says, "How do you get an honest man to lose his ethical compass? You get him to take one step at a time, and self-justification will do the rest." And on page 38, it says: "All of us, to preserve our belief that we are smart, will occasionally do dumb things. We can't help it. We are wired that way. But this does not mean that we are doomed to keep striving to justify our actions after the fact. A richer understanding of how and why our minds work as they do is the first step toward breaking the self-justification habit. And that, in turn, requires us to be more mindful of our behavior and the reasons for our choices. It takes time, self-reflection, and willingness."
After I read that last little bit, it dawned on me that the people who need this book the most will never read it! Funny, huh? Those justifying fools will justify their way out of any sort of self help!
Here's more of what I learned:
- People are biased. Period. You and I have made our decisions and cannot be coerced to either side of that decision. This is precisely why debates over politics turn heated. You have picked your position. Your opponent has picked their decision. Neither of you will switch, so save your breath and agree that you disagree. I've also learned that once you/I make a decision, we only see facts that support that decision. Now I laugh in the general direction of anyone who claims to be unbiased.
- Memories are made to justify. When you and I remember something, we stamp that memory in our brain so as to justify. When you see something, you see it favorably - to support a belief or decision made. The human mind will remember stuff in a way that supports what you want to remember, not necessarily what really happened. For this reason, a person's memory is as reliable as quicksand. Page 93 says, "False memories allow us to forgive ourselves and justify our mistakes, but sometimes at a high price: an inability to take responsibility for our lives. An appreciation of the distortions of memory, a realization that even deeply felt memories might be wrong, might encourage people to hold their memories more lightly, to drop the certainty that their memories are always accurate, and to let go of the appealing impulse to use the past to justify problems of the present. If we are to be careful about what we wish for because it might come true, we must also be careful which memories we select to justify our lives, because then we will have to live by them."
Not everyone, however, remembers events inaccurately to support their cause and/or story. "Every once in a while someone steps forward to speak up for truth, even when the truth gets in the way of a good, self-justifying story. It's not easy, because it means taking a fresh, skeptical look at the comforting memory we have lived by, scrutinizing it from every angle for its plausibility, and, no matter how great the ensuing dissonance, letting go of it."
- From now on, I will look sideways at scientific research. I'm biased about people being biased. This means I think those performing research have decided beforehand what they want to find. There are several examples in the book about studies in the real world that began with bias. One such study was one proclaiming rather loudly that Autism was a direct result of immunizations. I'm not going to go into it here, however. There's a whole chapter in the book about science and how it's tainted by cash and biased variables.
- All sorts of justification transpires in matrimony. I also learned that more marriages would make it if we'd all learn to give the benefit of the doubt; if we'd all learn to overlook trivialities. We make decisions and judgments about our spouses. And once we have made a decision about them, whether that decision be positive or negative, we only see actions and whatnot that support that decision. This means that once you decide your beloved Spouse squeezes toothpaste incorrectly, you won't see it when he/she squeezes the toothpaste correctly.
Now that I've listed what the book taught me, here's he paragraph where I summarize and interpret: I believe the world would be a better place if those making the mistakes (everyone) would say, "Mistakes were made. By me!" However, I don't believe our world is a forgiving world. In order for the world to start admitting mistakes, that same world needs to start forgiving.
How's that for a new chicken or egg metaphor?
For this reason, I will now do book reports. When I finish a book, I'm going to post a report here. Did you like book reports in school? I loved the book reports. I wish I could get a job doing book reports.
Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me):
Why We Justify Foolish Beliefs, Bad Decisions, and Hurtful Acts
by Carol Tavris and Elliot Aronson
First, let me tell you how I ended up reading this one. I take issue when people play the blame game. I also believe that the world lacks accountability. Think about it... how often do you hear someone say, "Oops! I screwed up"? Not very often. So one day Ryan left a comment on one of my posts suggesting that I read this Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me) book. I jumped all over that one. Especially since Amazon had it for $4.97 and I'm an Amazon Prime member and get free two-day shipping. That Amazon Prime business is kinda worth it, by the way.
(If Ryan had a blog, I'd link to it, but Ryan has no blog. He's that smart and witty blogless dude from San Diego who's little brother grew up with the Winder's husband and who found us all because of an airplane ride wherein he sat next to Megan. Weird, huh?! This planet is so very small.)
Here's what I learned from this book:
- Humans justify. They make a decision. And after they make a decision they make all sorts of other decisions that justify the first decision. You and I want to feel good about the decisions we make. If you make a decision, and you find yourself doubting that decision, your actions will generally turn to justification instead of looking at the decision for a mistake. Would you care for an example?
Let's say I go out and buy this awesome vehicle - a Porsche Cayman. The sticker price on a Cayman S is 61,500 - a smokin' deal for a Porsche. But for me and my family, the only thing dumber than buying a Cayman S would be the purchase of a Cayman Island. Buying a Cayman S would be a bad decision and a very bad mistake. Now, instead of looking at the car and proclaiming loudly that, "I totally screwed up," I would begin to justify my decision. First, I'd go around telling you that I got "a great deal on it" and that "the dealership was trying to get rid of 'em all and gave it to me for almost nothing." After I had made an effort at convincing everyone that I got a great deal on the car, I'd immediately try to get anyone, someone, everyone, to buy a Cayman too. 'Cause if all of you buy a Cayman S, then surely I made the right decision.
"Our efforts at self-justification are all designed to serve our need to feel good about what we have done, what we believe, and who we are." Page 39.
In regards to this justification stuff, people end up justifying themselves into corruption. Want an example? Politicians. They start out with the best intentions and they want to make principled decisions for our country, but slowly, like sweet molasses, those politicians just lose it. On page 37, the book says, "How do you get an honest man to lose his ethical compass? You get him to take one step at a time, and self-justification will do the rest." And on page 38, it says: "All of us, to preserve our belief that we are smart, will occasionally do dumb things. We can't help it. We are wired that way. But this does not mean that we are doomed to keep striving to justify our actions after the fact. A richer understanding of how and why our minds work as they do is the first step toward breaking the self-justification habit. And that, in turn, requires us to be more mindful of our behavior and the reasons for our choices. It takes time, self-reflection, and willingness."
After I read that last little bit, it dawned on me that the people who need this book the most will never read it! Funny, huh? Those justifying fools will justify their way out of any sort of self help!
Here's more of what I learned:
- People are biased. Period. You and I have made our decisions and cannot be coerced to either side of that decision. This is precisely why debates over politics turn heated. You have picked your position. Your opponent has picked their decision. Neither of you will switch, so save your breath and agree that you disagree. I've also learned that once you/I make a decision, we only see facts that support that decision. Now I laugh in the general direction of anyone who claims to be unbiased.
- Memories are made to justify. When you and I remember something, we stamp that memory in our brain so as to justify. When you see something, you see it favorably - to support a belief or decision made. The human mind will remember stuff in a way that supports what you want to remember, not necessarily what really happened. For this reason, a person's memory is as reliable as quicksand. Page 93 says, "False memories allow us to forgive ourselves and justify our mistakes, but sometimes at a high price: an inability to take responsibility for our lives. An appreciation of the distortions of memory, a realization that even deeply felt memories might be wrong, might encourage people to hold their memories more lightly, to drop the certainty that their memories are always accurate, and to let go of the appealing impulse to use the past to justify problems of the present. If we are to be careful about what we wish for because it might come true, we must also be careful which memories we select to justify our lives, because then we will have to live by them."
Not everyone, however, remembers events inaccurately to support their cause and/or story. "Every once in a while someone steps forward to speak up for truth, even when the truth gets in the way of a good, self-justifying story. It's not easy, because it means taking a fresh, skeptical look at the comforting memory we have lived by, scrutinizing it from every angle for its plausibility, and, no matter how great the ensuing dissonance, letting go of it."
- From now on, I will look sideways at scientific research. I'm biased about people being biased. This means I think those performing research have decided beforehand what they want to find. There are several examples in the book about studies in the real world that began with bias. One such study was one proclaiming rather loudly that Autism was a direct result of immunizations. I'm not going to go into it here, however. There's a whole chapter in the book about science and how it's tainted by cash and biased variables.
- All sorts of justification transpires in matrimony. I also learned that more marriages would make it if we'd all learn to give the benefit of the doubt; if we'd all learn to overlook trivialities. We make decisions and judgments about our spouses. And once we have made a decision about them, whether that decision be positive or negative, we only see actions and whatnot that support that decision. This means that once you decide your beloved Spouse squeezes toothpaste incorrectly, you won't see it when he/she squeezes the toothpaste correctly.
Now that I've listed what the book taught me, here's he paragraph where I summarize and interpret: I believe the world would be a better place if those making the mistakes (everyone) would say, "Mistakes were made. By me!" However, I don't believe our world is a forgiving world. In order for the world to start admitting mistakes, that same world needs to start forgiving.
How's that for a new chicken or egg metaphor?
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Tuesday, March 09, 2010
First Nephi, Chapter 8, Verse 23
First Nephi, Chapter 8, Verse 23
"And it came to pass that there arose a mist of darkness; yea, even an exceedingly great mist of darkness, insomuch that they who had commenced in the path did lose their way, that they wandered off and were lost."
So... like, Lost is on, in like, three hours. It's gonna be rad. And since I have a scripture for the commencement of tonight's televised proceedings, I'm gonna call it Family Home Evening.
"And it came to pass that there arose a mist of darkness; yea, even an exceedingly great mist of darkness, insomuch that they who had commenced in the path did lose their way, that they wandered off and were lost."
So... like, Lost is on, in like, three hours. It's gonna be rad. And since I have a scripture for the commencement of tonight's televised proceedings, I'm gonna call it Family Home Evening.
Tuesday Tune vol 31 - Pizza Day
All right everyone, pay attention. Raise your hand if you love Ween! Great job boys and girls! Look at all of those Ween lovers out there! Just look at you all. You look so very nice.
Today's Tuesday Tune is Someday - Ween and here's why: Tuesday is Pizza Day at the Yahoo's school. Pizza Day is the only day Yahoo #1 has a guaranteed school lunch. It's a guaranteed school lunch day because I remove my Mean-As-Hell-Medusa Mask and send him to school without a home-lunch. One day a week - on Pizza Day Tuesday - Yahoo #1 gets to eat school lunch and not Medusa Mom's home-lunch.
Medusa Mom's yucky home-lunch is amply furnished with a sandwich on home made wheat bread, long (not baby) carrots and chips imported from India (via rabidrunner backpack. Indian chips are the best on the planet. You can trust me on this one because I have been all over the planet now and have had chips from all over that same planet.) Medusa Mom's home-lunch also has a bite size snickers bar or some other delicious delectable.
Only Mean-As-Hell-Medusa Moms send a home-made lunch. Nice Moms buy school lunch. The Greek Mythology books even say so. On page 31. "Medusa made her offspring eat a home-made lunch. If the little brats complained, she would turn them to stone."
For the record, there are many mornings in the which Medusa Mom doesn't have her act together or is frazzled more than normal. On these mornings, Medusa Mom morphs into Nice Mom and Yahoo #1 gets whatever pickled and preserved entrée the elementary café happens to be serving. Sometimes I think the Yahoos get me frazzled on purpose so as to escape the home lunch.
So on Tuesday mornings, Yahoo #1 is excited to go to school (for Pizza Day) and we sing. On Tuesday mornings, we sing the lyrics from Ween's Someday song because it says: "Tuesday - is pizza day."
It's so cute when an eight-your-old sings Ween, isn't it? So very cute. Now don't you all go teaching him the lyrics to Piss Up A Rope because that will not be cute in the slightest. And this means you, specifically, Vera. (She's been known to frequent Ween and teach the Yahoos things. Also notice that I didn't provide you with a link to Ween's Piss Up A Rope. You're on your own with that one.)
Oh and while we're on the subject of Vera - she's a Granny now! Vera's daughter Ellvie had a bouncing baby Digby last week. We're all so very thrilled. It's weird when your friends become grandparents, isn't it? Weird.
Here's the Someday lyrics, so as you can sing along too! On Pizza Day! (What is with me and the excess of exclamation points lately!?)
You will hear me sing a love song
One day
I'll find a girl to call my own
Bringing it all together
Doing it on my own
Walking hand in hand like lovers
And if you wished upon the moon
Then it maybe one day soon
Sunday
Monday
Tuesday - is pizza day
Bringing it all together
Doing it on my own
Walking hand and hand like lovers
And if you wished upon the moon
Then it maybe one day soon
Today's Tuesday Tune is Someday - Ween and here's why: Tuesday is Pizza Day at the Yahoo's school. Pizza Day is the only day Yahoo #1 has a guaranteed school lunch. It's a guaranteed school lunch day because I remove my Mean-As-Hell-Medusa Mask and send him to school without a home-lunch. One day a week - on Pizza Day Tuesday - Yahoo #1 gets to eat school lunch and not Medusa Mom's home-lunch.
Medusa Mom's yucky home-lunch is amply furnished with a sandwich on home made wheat bread, long (not baby) carrots and chips imported from India (via rabidrunner backpack. Indian chips are the best on the planet. You can trust me on this one because I have been all over the planet now and have had chips from all over that same planet.) Medusa Mom's home-lunch also has a bite size snickers bar or some other delicious delectable.
Only Mean-As-Hell-Medusa Moms send a home-made lunch. Nice Moms buy school lunch. The Greek Mythology books even say so. On page 31. "Medusa made her offspring eat a home-made lunch. If the little brats complained, she would turn them to stone."
For the record, there are many mornings in the which Medusa Mom doesn't have her act together or is frazzled more than normal. On these mornings, Medusa Mom morphs into Nice Mom and Yahoo #1 gets whatever pickled and preserved entrée the elementary café happens to be serving. Sometimes I think the Yahoos get me frazzled on purpose so as to escape the home lunch.
So on Tuesday mornings, Yahoo #1 is excited to go to school (for Pizza Day) and we sing. On Tuesday mornings, we sing the lyrics from Ween's Someday song because it says: "Tuesday - is pizza day."
It's so cute when an eight-your-old sings Ween, isn't it? So very cute. Now don't you all go teaching him the lyrics to Piss Up A Rope because that will not be cute in the slightest. And this means you, specifically, Vera. (She's been known to frequent Ween and teach the Yahoos things. Also notice that I didn't provide you with a link to Ween's Piss Up A Rope. You're on your own with that one.)
Oh and while we're on the subject of Vera - she's a Granny now! Vera's daughter Ellvie had a bouncing baby Digby last week. We're all so very thrilled. It's weird when your friends become grandparents, isn't it? Weird.
Here's the Someday lyrics, so as you can sing along too! On Pizza Day! (What is with me and the excess of exclamation points lately!?)
You will hear me sing a love song
One day
I'll find a girl to call my own
Bringing it all together
Doing it on my own
Walking hand in hand like lovers
And if you wished upon the moon
Then it maybe one day soon
Sunday
Monday
Tuesday - is pizza day
Bringing it all together
Doing it on my own
Walking hand and hand like lovers
And if you wished upon the moon
Then it maybe one day soon
Monday, March 08, 2010
Myriad of Felicitations
I like using felicitation because it makes me feel like Jane Austen. There are certain words I use to bring out my inner classic author. All of us - that includes you and me - have an inner classic author just waiting to come out. For example, when I use "in the which", it brings out my inner Shakespeare and when I use "inconceivable," it brings out my inner William Goldman.
Anyway.
After my Myriad of Frustrations day, I figured I should follow it up with a Myriad of Felicitations. Felicitation is the opposite of Frustration. Just so you know.
Felicitation #1
Saturday was Yahoo #1's piano festival and wouldn't you know - it's appointed time was right in the middle of the dang day. I grumble at any schedulings that coincide with the middle of a Saturday. Incidentally, it turned out to be a great day because Spouse and I each took the day to spend one-on-one time with each of the Yahoos. I spent the day with Yahoo #1 and Spouse spent the day with Yahoo #2. Being as kindergarten is half day, Yahoo #2 and I get lots of alone time. Yahoo #1 and I don't ever spend any time alone. It was wonderful - like we were getting to know each other all over again. Isn't there a song in there somewhere? Getting to you know. Getting to know all - about you.
Felecitation #2
My sister Opree has landed a leading role in an Opera with The Utah Opera Company. It's Puccini's Suor Angelica and you can get your tickets here. What are the odds of that? A sister named Opree that sings in a real Opera! Who would have known. If you're nice I'll get you an autograph.
Felecitation #3
I made cookies today. Oatmeal chocolate chip.
Felicitation #4
It's March. All of the rude taxpayers are done with their taxes. Scientific research shows that the mean, rude and vulgar file their taxes in February while the nice and mannerly file their taxes is March.
When did you file your taxes? Hmmm? And what kind of person does that make you?
Felicitation #5
Marathon training is going rather smoothly. The warmer weather has made it easier to run faster and longer. Three weeks down, nine to go...
Felicitation #6
Jeff Bridges won an Oscar last night. As usual I'm reporting on an event I didn't attend or watch. I did not see Jeffie's Oscar movie either, but I believe he should have earned an Oscar in 1998 for his performance of The Dude.
Anyway.
After my Myriad of Frustrations day, I figured I should follow it up with a Myriad of Felicitations. Felicitation is the opposite of Frustration. Just so you know.
Felicitation #1
Saturday was Yahoo #1's piano festival and wouldn't you know - it's appointed time was right in the middle of the dang day. I grumble at any schedulings that coincide with the middle of a Saturday. Incidentally, it turned out to be a great day because Spouse and I each took the day to spend one-on-one time with each of the Yahoos. I spent the day with Yahoo #1 and Spouse spent the day with Yahoo #2. Being as kindergarten is half day, Yahoo #2 and I get lots of alone time. Yahoo #1 and I don't ever spend any time alone. It was wonderful - like we were getting to know each other all over again. Isn't there a song in there somewhere? Getting to you know. Getting to know all - about you.
Felecitation #2
My sister Opree has landed a leading role in an Opera with The Utah Opera Company. It's Puccini's Suor Angelica and you can get your tickets here. What are the odds of that? A sister named Opree that sings in a real Opera! Who would have known. If you're nice I'll get you an autograph.
Felecitation #3
I made cookies today. Oatmeal chocolate chip.
Felicitation #4
It's March. All of the rude taxpayers are done with their taxes. Scientific research shows that the mean, rude and vulgar file their taxes in February while the nice and mannerly file their taxes is March.
When did you file your taxes? Hmmm? And what kind of person does that make you?
Felicitation #5
Marathon training is going rather smoothly. The warmer weather has made it easier to run faster and longer. Three weeks down, nine to go...
Felicitation #6
Jeff Bridges won an Oscar last night. As usual I'm reporting on an event I didn't attend or watch. I did not see Jeffie's Oscar movie either, but I believe he should have earned an Oscar in 1998 for his performance of The Dude.
Friday, March 05, 2010
Myriad of Frustrations (Wherein a Myriad = 5)
I gots myself a myriad of frustrations.
Sadly, I cannot blame the PMS Avenger on this one because the timing just ain't right. Timing is everything when it comes to the super power of PMS Avenging. That and the moon and the horrormones. These days, however, I'm into taking full responsibility for my actions (thanks to Ryan and his book recommendation - full report coming soon.) So today, instead of blaming the PMS Avenging alter ego, I must look my frustrations straight in the eyes and tell them they exist all because of me and my bitchiness.
My inability to blame the PMS is unfortunate because I would really like to stamp this post with the PMS Avenger label. Bummer. Accountability sucks! Already! And we're just beginning!
Anyway, as I was sitting here looking at my crappy day, and taking full responsibility for my crappy day in the process, I figured the best way to stare down these frustrations would be to list them here. That way the posterity and whatnot can see how bitchy I was on May 5, 2010.
I can't wait to read this to my grandkids!
Incidentally, this one will have a superabundance of supererogatory and supervacaneous exclamation points! It's gonna be super! But don't call the exclamation point police on my for superseding my exclamatory quota.
Frustration #1
It snowed like crazy last night. One might think that the frustration over a giant dump might be a result of having to drive in the snow, shovel the snow and other such hassles. But no. I wanted to go ski in the snow - on the snow? Whatever. One powder day is all I ask of this year, ONE! Remember the days when I was asking for 15 powder days a year? Yeah, those are gone now. I just want ONE.
Now, why wouldn't I be able to partake of the the superabundance and supererogatory and supervacaneous snow? Glad you asked. Because now I get to bitch about...
Frustration #2
The Big O is dirty word. Dirty, dirty, dirty! It stands for OBLIGATION. Obligation is the worst of all the four (times 2.5) letter words. Do you ever step back, look at your poor obligated life and think, "I'm obligated! To the gills! To the hilt! To the max! And I cannot think of any more idiot idioms to add to it!"
Honestly. How did I get here? With all this obligation? And what's worse...
Frustration #3
Why is it that people insist on pouring molten lavanous obligation all over my Saturdays? People! Saturdays are for R-E-C-R-E-A-T-I-N-G! Saturdays are not for working, baptisms, weddings, baby showers, funerals, or piano festivals. Saturdays are for recreating. If obligation continues to seep into my sportly Saturdays, the steadfastness of my Sundays will most definitely sizzle.
Speaking of sizzle, I'm hungry.
Frustration #4
I'm hungry.
Frustration #5
The Yahoos lack motivation. They are motivated by nothing to do nothing. Nothing! How do I make my kids become self-motivated individuals who strive for bigger and better, fun and frolic? Funny, huh? YOU GET OVER HERE, BOY! AND YOU BE SELF-MOTIVATED OR I'LL FEED YOU TO BALKANS! Is being fed to the Balkans bad? I should prolly do my research before issuing a threat. Yes?
But seriously, folks. The Yahoos don't want to do anything. Doesn't matter if it's fun or work - they complain. What do I do? Squash 'em into submissive self-motivation? Help!
While we are on the subject of self-motivation, let's delve into that a bit deeper, shall we? The key ingredient of self-motivation, is self. I assume we all agree about that. Self-motivation must come from the internal self and not from the external parents.
Being as Spouse and I began to perpetuate our gene pool later in life, most of our friends have kids that are older. And by older, I mean most of our friends have kids old enough to get grades that count. Some of them, even, have kids with a 4.0 cumulative in their senior year of high school! Four point oh!
During one conversation with Parent of 4.0 Cumulative Kid, I asked, "How do you do it? How do you raise kids that want to work hard and get good grades?" I questioned Parent of 4.0 Cumulative Kid because I want our Yahoos to get good grades and subsequently qualify for full-ride college tuition. And if they get full-ride tuition, then Spouse and I can burn their education bonds on stuff that will give instant gratification - like an Electra Glide for example.
No one wants to cash in the bonds, wait four years and hope that the sweet child of your'n ends up earning a living over it, right? Right! YOU know what I'm sayin'!
Anyway, I'm talking to the friend about her kids and their awesome grades. And whence I inquire about how the young ones are motivated to do so, she responds with, "We don't do anything! They just do it on their own! They're so wonderful!" Note that the sentence is delivered with that sickening, sweet, my-kids-are-the-best-on-the-planet tone.
I was taken a back with doom. "Oh man. We're screwed. There will be no Electra Glide! Our Yahoos are motivated by nothing to do nothing!"
Fast forward a year or so, and the friend and I are having a conversation. And during this conversation she openly admits to forking over a Benjamin for every single A her kids get on their report card. (That's $100 an A for those of you like me who rarely see cash.)
Rrrririiiighhhht... "They just do it on their own!"
Now. I'm not saying that bribing your kids for good grades is wrong. In the long run, it might even cost you less if you pay for the As upfront as opposed to the associated fees that come with college. What I am saying is that if you're bribing your kids, admit it. Don't go tooting that my-kids-are-self-motivated bull.
See? I told you I was bitchy.
**Since I mentioned "PMS Avenger," I should be able to stamp it with the PMS Avenger label, right?
Sadly, I cannot blame the PMS Avenger on this one because the timing just ain't right. Timing is everything when it comes to the super power of PMS Avenging. That and the moon and the horrormones. These days, however, I'm into taking full responsibility for my actions (thanks to Ryan and his book recommendation - full report coming soon.) So today, instead of blaming the PMS Avenging alter ego, I must look my frustrations straight in the eyes and tell them they exist all because of me and my bitchiness.
My inability to blame the PMS is unfortunate because I would really like to stamp this post with the PMS Avenger label. Bummer. Accountability sucks! Already! And we're just beginning!
Anyway, as I was sitting here looking at my crappy day, and taking full responsibility for my crappy day in the process, I figured the best way to stare down these frustrations would be to list them here. That way the posterity and whatnot can see how bitchy I was on May 5, 2010.
I can't wait to read this to my grandkids!
Incidentally, this one will have a superabundance of supererogatory and supervacaneous exclamation points! It's gonna be super! But don't call the exclamation point police on my for superseding my exclamatory quota.
Frustration #1
It snowed like crazy last night. One might think that the frustration over a giant dump might be a result of having to drive in the snow, shovel the snow and other such hassles. But no. I wanted to go ski in the snow - on the snow? Whatever. One powder day is all I ask of this year, ONE! Remember the days when I was asking for 15 powder days a year? Yeah, those are gone now. I just want ONE.
Now, why wouldn't I be able to partake of the the superabundance and supererogatory and supervacaneous snow? Glad you asked. Because now I get to bitch about...
Frustration #2
The Big O is dirty word. Dirty, dirty, dirty! It stands for OBLIGATION. Obligation is the worst of all the four (times 2.5) letter words. Do you ever step back, look at your poor obligated life and think, "I'm obligated! To the gills! To the hilt! To the max! And I cannot think of any more idiot idioms to add to it!"
Honestly. How did I get here? With all this obligation? And what's worse...
Frustration #3
Why is it that people insist on pouring molten lavanous obligation all over my Saturdays? People! Saturdays are for R-E-C-R-E-A-T-I-N-G! Saturdays are not for working, baptisms, weddings, baby showers, funerals, or piano festivals. Saturdays are for recreating. If obligation continues to seep into my sportly Saturdays, the steadfastness of my Sundays will most definitely sizzle.
Speaking of sizzle, I'm hungry.
Frustration #4
I'm hungry.
Frustration #5
The Yahoos lack motivation. They are motivated by nothing to do nothing. Nothing! How do I make my kids become self-motivated individuals who strive for bigger and better, fun and frolic? Funny, huh? YOU GET OVER HERE, BOY! AND YOU BE SELF-MOTIVATED OR I'LL FEED YOU TO BALKANS! Is being fed to the Balkans bad? I should prolly do my research before issuing a threat. Yes?
But seriously, folks. The Yahoos don't want to do anything. Doesn't matter if it's fun or work - they complain. What do I do? Squash 'em into submissive self-motivation? Help!
While we are on the subject of self-motivation, let's delve into that a bit deeper, shall we? The key ingredient of self-motivation, is self. I assume we all agree about that. Self-motivation must come from the internal self and not from the external parents.
Being as Spouse and I began to perpetuate our gene pool later in life, most of our friends have kids that are older. And by older, I mean most of our friends have kids old enough to get grades that count. Some of them, even, have kids with a 4.0 cumulative in their senior year of high school! Four point oh!
During one conversation with Parent of 4.0 Cumulative Kid, I asked, "How do you do it? How do you raise kids that want to work hard and get good grades?" I questioned Parent of 4.0 Cumulative Kid because I want our Yahoos to get good grades and subsequently qualify for full-ride college tuition. And if they get full-ride tuition, then Spouse and I can burn their education bonds on stuff that will give instant gratification - like an Electra Glide for example.
No one wants to cash in the bonds, wait four years and hope that the sweet child of your'n ends up earning a living over it, right? Right! YOU know what I'm sayin'!
Anyway, I'm talking to the friend about her kids and their awesome grades. And whence I inquire about how the young ones are motivated to do so, she responds with, "We don't do anything! They just do it on their own! They're so wonderful!" Note that the sentence is delivered with that sickening, sweet, my-kids-are-the-best-on-the-planet tone.
I was taken a back with doom. "Oh man. We're screwed. There will be no Electra Glide! Our Yahoos are motivated by nothing to do nothing!"
Fast forward a year or so, and the friend and I are having a conversation. And during this conversation she openly admits to forking over a Benjamin for every single A her kids get on their report card. (That's $100 an A for those of you like me who rarely see cash.)
Rrrririiiighhhht... "They just do it on their own!"
Now. I'm not saying that bribing your kids for good grades is wrong. In the long run, it might even cost you less if you pay for the As upfront as opposed to the associated fees that come with college. What I am saying is that if you're bribing your kids, admit it. Don't go tooting that my-kids-are-self-motivated bull.
See? I told you I was bitchy.
**Since I mentioned "PMS Avenger," I should be able to stamp it with the PMS Avenger label, right?
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